Deborah Rivlin, Education Director at TCR, shares her thoughts on grief and the holiday season.

The holiday season can be an especially tough time for those who are grieving.

We are all triggered in our losses at different times for different reasons, and this time of year can bring back many memories. 

With so many traditions and expectations surrounding the holiday season, the loss of an important person in your life may be felt even more intensely. As our calendars fill up with activities and gatherings, it's important to give ourselves permission to do what feels right for ourselves and our families.

Instead of dreading the holidays, you can plan ahead and choose a meaningful way to incorporate the memory of the person who died.

Perhaps your family wants to keep all of the same traditions and remember the person who died by hanging up their stocking or placing flowers or a candle at their place at the table.

Or maybe you decide you would like to do something different, like taking a trip or beginning new family traditions. Some families find it meaningful to make a special photo ornament and share memories of the person who died as they place it on the tree.

There is no right or wrong way to celebrate the holidays - just as there is no right or wrong way to grieve.

While it's good to make plans for coping during the holidays, we also need to remember to be flexible and take care of ourselves. Grief is unique for every individual, and you are the expert on your own grief and what feels right for you.

As Education Director, Deborah works with TCR's education and training programs for families and professionals and provides individual consultations around death, illness and other losses.

Children's Grief Awareness Day is observed every year on the Thursday before Thanksgiving, raising awareness of the needs of grieving children at the beginning of the holiday season. This year's awareness day was last Thursday, November 21st.

Children's Grief Awareness Day.... 

• is designed to help us all become more aware of the needs of grieving children and of the benefits that they obtain through the support of others.
• is an opportunity for all of us to raise awareness of the painful impact that the death of a loved one has in the life of a child.
• is an opportunity to make sure that grieving children receive the support they need.

As this year's Children's Grief Awareness Day approached, families at The Children's Room were invited to participate in a special community project on children and grief.

Bright blue hearts were transformed into butterflies as children, teens and adults shared their thoughts on what others should know about grieving children. Some children and teens also shared what they would say to another child, teen or family member who is grieving.

The blue butterfly is the official symbol of Children's Grief Awareness Day, and all of TCR's butterflies will be assembled into a collective Awareness Day Mural.

Thank you to all of the families at TCR who shared their wisdom and "hearts" with us!