In 1970 two researchers from Stanford wanted to understand more about deferred gratification or the ability to wait to obtain something one wants. They used children ages four to six as subjects. In over 600 children who took part in the original experiment, a minority ate the marshmallow immediately. Of those who attempted to delay, one third deferred gratification long enough to get the second marshmallow. Age was a major determinant of deferred gratification.

 

  

But all is not grim for those who felt that one marshmallow in the mouth is better than two. We can learn something from these kids. The upside is that self control can be taught. The children who were most successful as delaying gratification took similar tactics.  According to a recent NYT article, they "turn their back on the cookie, push it away, pretend it's something non-edible like a piece of wood, or invent a song.  Instead of staring down at the cookie, they transfer it into something with less a throbbing pull on them."  

Does this translate into our lives somehow?  Of course.  Picture yourself staring at the ubiquitous basket of bread that quickly arrives on your table, "before" the meal when we're at our hungriest?  Can you feel yourself going through the mental and maybe physical gyrations of the kids.  Again, the NYT serves up with a few suggestions, "Don't eye the basket of bread; just take it off the table. . . When a waiter offers a chocolate mousse, imagine that a cockroach has just crawled across it."  

We have two parts of our brain, the limbic system that wants immediate gratification and the prefrontal cortex that's goal oriented.  We can train the prefrontal cortex to kick in first, thus avoiding the debilitating hangover or the always tempting chocolate banana bread pudding.  The article suggests that we don't have to be victims of our emotions.  We have a prefrontal cortex that can evaluate that's good for us.  This is harder for children, of course, but we're not children.  

The NYT article gives some suggestions on how to play with our minds to use the prefrontal cortex to make good decisions:  

"To do this, use specific if-then plans, like "If it's before noon, I won't check email" or "If I feel angry, I will count backward from 10." Done repeatedly, this buys a few seconds to at least consider your options. The point isn't to be robotic and never eat chocolate mousse again. It's to summon self-control when you want it, and be able to carry out long-term plans."

What's your marshmallow? Is it Three Twins Sea Salted Caramel Ice Cream or the upcoming Samsung Galaxy S7?  Can you resist?