Parents don't have much of a road map for parenting, except for the books. Children today are growing up very differently than in the 1950s and 60s and even the 70s. This generation has less free, unsupervised time and less physical freedom.  There is the lure of pads and phones, 5-drinks and drugs and smokeless whatever-those-things-are. Moneys hard to find as are the jobs. According to author, Steven Mintz, in his new book "Prime of Life, a History of Modern Adulthood",  they've "changed for reason and most importantly, they're going to change in the future."  

"Helicopter parent" refers to the parent (usually just one) that is overly involved in the their kids' life, questionably to their detriment.  Urban dictionary offers some comical examples:

"Jan: Are Jane's helicopter parents back in town this weekend?

Judy: Do you really have to ask that question? They're ALWAYS in town for the weekend.

Jan: Poor, poor Jane. "

"That kid's mom just went onto the field to check on his injury. All he did was slide into home. Think she's a helicopter parent?? "

1.  Over-protective. These parents think the word is a scary, unsafe place.

2. Over-directive. Like the "tiger moms". They know what's best and will direct the child what they "must" do to make it and become successful.  Also often known as authoritarian parenting.

3. The hand-holding concierge. These parents are indulgent or permissive. These parents fill out the college applications, speak to adults FOR their kids, and rescuing them when their kids make mistakes.

As a counter-point, and I think a much unrepresented position, is presented by Steven Mintz in his new book, The Prime of Life, a History of Modern Adulthood. .  He agrees that over-parenting is not good for children's developing independence.  But he feels the 20's is the most critical time for parents to BE present and supportive.  

He sees two paths for young adults during their 20's.  For one group, it's a period for young people to explore, try new jobs, test out relationships, live in many places, build up resumes and discover who they are.  The second group did not graduate from college, are aimless, fall into work that does not reflect their interests, have an unplanned pregnancy, abuse drugs, experience mental illness and end up in the criminal justice system.  What determines the path according to Mintz?  Parents. Parents that "provide financial resources, guidance and support will make all the difference in the world whether kids will successfully navigate this risk-filled decade."  

Wow, so which is it?  Hover or not hover.  Hold on or let go?  Not an easy question. Each young adult has specific temperaments, drive, and innate abilities and varying sociability. Each has a different life experience, like coming from a split family with loving or nutty parents, experiencing financial issues at home or having health or mental challenges. These factors influence the type of parenting that specific child needs. One child may eat-up the independence and thrive and grow. Another may not. Same with stress.  It can be motivating, leading to greatness or life-threatening, leading to anxiety and depression. Some kids, without structure, encouragement and some hand-holding, suffer.