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Cheryl Thomas, RYT
www.cherylthomas.com yoga@cherylthomas.com 415-308-3377 |
Online Infidelity
Oh, my. Infidelity. It happens all the time in marriages, jobs, friendships. It even made Moses's Top 10 List, damning wife coveters to hell. Infidelity in relationships isn't new, but what is new is the effect the internet has on relationships. Internet porn has snagged the attention of 43% of internet users. And besides the porn industry, Facebook is now causing a ruckus in committed relationships.
I have heard this more than once from friends and confidants and it doesn't really surprise me. Facebook is connecting not only "friends", but reconnecting high school sweethearts and re-igniting old flames. It used to be the high school reunions every 10 years or so. Everyone got gussied up to check out the prom queen and their old lovers. But now, with Facebook, you don't need to lose the 15 pounds and spend $250 on a dress to find out about your Ex.
It is sooooo easy. Too easy. Women are bored. Men don't get enough sex. The grass is always greener. Before you know it, the innocent "how have you been" turns into bitching about how unappreciated or sad you are in your current relationship. The emotional hook-up begins. Then, there's the meet-up for the hook-up, some even flying cross-country to fulfill their fantasy. This is not good for relationships as one-third of divorce filings last year contained the word Facebook and over 80% of divorce lawyers say they've seen a rise in the number of cases blaming social networking.
Hah! It comes as no surprise that there's a website, Facebookcheating.com, with tabs like Cheating Stories, Facebook Flirting and Facebook Tragedy. Hold on, there's more. Indigo Films is looking for stories to tell on TV (please, not another reality show) and are "casting" for "people who can tell us their true stories about what went wrong in their relationship. Specifically we are looking for jilted lovers who have a story to tell. . . We want to tell your story - the most dramatic, spectacular, creative ways women have taken revenge."
How damaging is online lovemaking to the party being cheated on? Like Jimmy Carter's "lusting in his heart" comment, non-contact relationships do not make it any less painful to the jilted partner. A new study by Texas Tech University researched the effects of online infidelity on the partner who was cheated on. There was an assumption that online infidelity would be somewhat less painful, but not so. Lead author, Jaclyn Cravens, says that the emotional impact of the party that discovered the online acts of infidelity is no less severe than if it happened in-person. Where trysts used to be just for sex in some no-tell motel, relationships online can become deeper given that people have the ability to be more vulnerable online which adds an emotional component.
Our increasing addiction to stimulation isn't helping and the internet is providing the portals which are constantly changing and updating. Along with incessant TV watching, this also adds the much desired distraction from real life. I don't know what Jesus would say, but according to the Buddhist beliefs, this is all the result of delusions and attachment. Even the Dalai Lama weighed in on Tiger Woods's cheating. "Whether you call it Buddhism or another religion, self-discipline, that's important ... self-discipline with awareness of the consequences." He added, "Buddhism teaches that a craving for things outside ourselves causes an unhappy and pointless search for security. It teaches me to stop following every impulse."
Social media and Facebook are omnipresent in our society and avoiding it for some is impossible. Maybe revisiting your highschool reunion every 10 years is safer, don't you think?
Want to read some of my previous articles? You can do it here. Enjoy.
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Did You Know?
New Studio Alert! Lion Heart Yoga Studio has opened in the front part of the Kenwood Farmhouse. You'll find some great teachers including founder, Nadra McAuliffe, and lovely, Carol King. Go to www.lionheartyoga.com.
The Gravenstein Apple Fair is coming to Sebastopol and they are looking for volunteers to fill about 100 slots still-- from pouring beer, wine or cider to taking tickets at the gate to crafting with kids at the Children's Corner. Can you help? Feel free to forward to anyone who might be interested: http://www.gravensteinapplefair.com/about/volunteer/
Stand Up Paddle Board Yoga! ! We've got a NEW date. Put on your calendar Saturday, August 24 at 10:30. I'm making arrangements for a private class for a bunch of us in Sausalito. More details to come. Clear your calendar. It's happening. We'll gather for lunch afterward. If you're interested in joining us, let me know asap, as it's filling up!
I'm at Move2Change on Monday and Tuesday this week subbing for the much-missed, Ann Austin.
More Beth Robert! Ashtangi Beth is adding 3, yes 3, new classes at Westside Yoga. Find her offering her Ashtanga wizardry on Tuesday at Thursdays at 4:30 and Sundays at 10:30.
Yoga Teachers and Advanced Studies Student--Study in a small class setting with Tony Briggs. See below for details!
Let the summer specials begin!! New students to Westside Yoga pay $100 for 10 classes. Get 15 free days at MyYogaWorks (online classes). YogaOne Petaluma has 30 days for $49 for new students. You and a friend can share a 1 month membership for $110 at Post Wellness by Design. Whew, I need to exhale! And, Move2Change is offering a 10 class pass for $98. That's a lot of cheap yoga classes. Take advantage while you can.
You heard it here. YogaOne in Petaluma is expanding to Santa Rosa in August. Heh, Santa Rosa! Located on Mendocino Avenue near College, Yoga One will offer a variety of classes all day long. I'll be on the schedule, yes me! I'll be offering two classes on Tuesday and Thursday around the noon hour). What a line-up! Ann Austin, Beth Robert and Parmatma will be on the schedule also. We're excited about offering yoga in Santa Rosa. More to come, of course.
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 Study with Tony Briggs
Heh, Yoga Teachers and Advanced Yogis. The teacher's teacher, Tony Briggs, is offering to hold some "master" classes. Focus will be on advanced asanas. Yikes!
We have a date. Tony will start the second week of September on Tuesdays from 2-4. If interested, please email Tony at tony.briggs108@gmail.com. The location will be in Sebastopol. Want to know more about Mr. Briggs. He's got a website here and a video here. Thanks, Tony!!" |
 Do Men and Mindfulness go Together? Five Ways to Make Mindfulness More Manly
Along with some of my favorite "go-to" sites like the idproject.com and thisiscolossal, there's Greater Good out of UC Berkeley. This site offers research-based articles on all-things to make our lives happier.
"After author Kozo Hattorinoticed that men were more likely than women to drop out of mindfulness training courses, he dove into the research to discover how to make the practice more attractive to them."
Here's more: We are just starting the discussion about how to involve men in mindfulness and compassion training, and we are still struggling to discover a language of the mind and the body that can lead them toward mindfulness. While you're there, check out Rick Hansen's video on Understanding Neuroplasticity. |
 Be Happier in Later Life - Accept What Is
The Buddhist teachings are all about accepting what is. It's the key to reducing suffering, becoming more at ease with life and lowering stress. I love it when western science back up some of the ancient doctrine. A new study has found that "during the difficult changes of later life -- moving into residential care and losing a certain level of independence -- an acceptance of what can't be changed is a major predictor of life satisfaction."
It's all in an article on HuffPo. There are some more interesting nuggets from the article:
"Although the changes of later life can be challenging, previous research has found that people tend to become happier as they age. Happiness hits a global average low point at age 46, and then generally increases after that point into the golden years."
"Past middle age there seems to be growing happiness into the later years that occurs regardless of money, employment status or children,"
"Researchers from the University of California at Berkeley found that older adults are better able to deal with negative emotions and have greater levels of emotional acceptance than younger people."
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 Chair Pose
Leslie Kaminoff of The Breathing Project in New York offers comments on various poses. Here's his take on utkatasana, commonly known as chair pose. This pose takes various shapes depending on your style of yoga.
"Shortness in the latissimus dorsi will interfere with lifting the arms overhead. Overly arching the lumbar spine or overly flexing the hips can happen because of a collapse into gravity. Using the hamstrings to draw the ischial tuberosities (sitz bones) forward or using the psoas minor to lift the pubic bone can prevent tipping the pelvis too far forward without necessarily affecting the alignment of the spine.
The knees are very mobile in this position because they are partly flexed. Gravity, rather than muscles working against each other, should be the main source of resistance in the pose. This is an interesting pose to explore a balance between effort and release."
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Best of Yoga Philosophy 4 You
Bob Weisenberg, of Elephant Journal, is offering a a virtual magazine and forum devoted to Yoga philosophy. Every day he selects the best Yoga philosophy articles on the Internet and post the links to Pinterest, facebook, Twitter, and Linkedin. You read the articles that interest you, and join in the discussions, if so moved.
It's on Elephant Journal, too. See his first week's posts here. While you're on Elephant Journal's site, take a look around. There's lots including this article on Dating.
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Daily Dharma - Tricycle Magazine
July 22, 2013
Knowing is Not Enough
It is because our way of observing things is deeply rooted in our self-centered ideas that we are disappointed when we find everything has only a tentative existence. But when we actually realize this truth, we will have no suffering.
- Shunryu Suzuki Roshi, "The Heart Sutra
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Be Happy on Friday's
Instead of shots of tequila and fried artichoke hearts, spend your Friday happy hour moving and grooving at an
most-levels vinyasa flow class.
On Friday's from 4:30 - 6:00, we'll end each week with an energetic vinyasa flow class. Through building heat from the inside, we'll strip out the stress hormones from the day. A long rest at the end of class will reset our nervous system and prepare us for our weekend.
You'll be done at 6:00!! That'll leave plenty of time for dinner with friends, a movie or a relaxing evening with your pooch. Or, maybe a Chia filled Kombucha or that 100% agave margarita!
NOTE: This class meets once a month at 5:30 - 7:00 due to teacher training. Check my calendar or Westside's.
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Get Your Girlfriends Together
It's fun to get friends together. Treat your friends to Yoga and Tea rather than Food and Booze. Inviting friends to come together for a Gentle or Restorative Yoga class is a perfect way to enjoy each other's company and do something good for yourselves. Many yoga parties end with tea or champagne and some munchies. Your friends will thank you!
Please call on me if I can help you book a private yoga class or answer any questions. I can be reached at cheryl@cherylthomas.com.
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Schedule of Upcoming Classes
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Week of July 28, 2013
Monday
9:00-10:30 a.m.
Move2Change, Sebastopol
Intermediate
Tuesday
9:00-10:30 a.m.
Move2Change, Sebastopol
Beginning
Thursday
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