One is the loneliest number.  Who did that song?  Ah, yes, Three Dog Night, however, I like the slow, sad remake by Amiee Mann, which appeared in the fabulous movie, Magnolia.  But, I digress.  The song goes on to suggest that two can be as bad as one.  Are you humming it in your head yet?

The New Republic's recent article by Judith Schulevitz, The Lethality of Loneliness:  We now know how it can ravage our body and brain, reports on the science behind loneliness.  Surprisingly, there are lots of lonely people out there--30% of the population says they don't feel close to others.  So, what actually is loneliness?  It's not about being alone, because there are plenty of us that would LOVE to spend some time alone, some "me" time.  But, the other loneliness is the loneliness that makes you feel sad and separate and alone with no one that you feel close to.  It's not about how much time you spend with others, as you can feel lonely in a crowded room.  Even married couples can feel lonely.  

Loneliness varies with age.  It's pervasive among the very old and the not-so-old.  A survey by AARP in 2010 found that slightly more than one in three adults over 45 reported being chronically lonely.  That's chronically lonely, like over a long period of time, not just the short-term lonely, when there's been a breakup or a move.  And with the rise in the baby-boomer generation, the number is going to blossom.  

Not only is being lonely about how you feel, but research has found that it take a toll on the physical body.  It causes a stress response, just like the fight/flight hit on the nervous system, like traumatic stress. Over time this affects the immune system via the inflammation response.  They have proven that long-lasting loneliness not only makes you sick but can kill you.  According to the article, "Emotional isolation is ranked as high a risk factor for mortality as smoking. A partial list of the physical diseases thought to be caused or exacerbated by loneliness would include Alzheimer's, obesity, diabetes, high blood pressure, heart disease, neurodegenerative diseases, and even cancer-tumors can metastasize faster in lonely people."

What to do?  Public and health policies can help protect our young (this is complicated by the widening divide between the haves and have-nots).  Avoiding loneliness and isolation in children can lead to healthier and happier future adults.  Many children are being raised with little contact with the parents, coming home to an empty house.  It's been reported,  "As nearly half of all marriages continue to end in divorce . . . childhood has become a more solitary and chaotic experience. Single mothers don't have a lot of time to spend with their children".

Public awareness, like the New Republic article, can educate people on health risks and ways to break out of loneliness. You can resolve the deleterious effect of loneliness by becoming unlonely by letting the body can heal itself by positive social experiences.  The science concurs, the body can be healed by love.  According to the article, "We're talking about changes in the brain that can be seen, and then measured."