Be Your True Self and Design the Life You Love
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News From: InnerBrilliance Coaching
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January 22, 2012
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Greetings!
As our year begins, we feel compelled to set or follow through on new year's resolutions, yet we might find we don't have the motivation or structure to pursue them.
So why even establish goals? Research shows they actually make you feel happier. Although attaining goals could impact your happiness, just having them also does so. Additionally, there is evidence that your brain can adapt to training or intentions you set and that writing down your goals increases your chances of achieving them.
So today's newsletter focuses on how goals can make you happier. It also includes proven ways to develop goals you'll be excited to go for, how to confirm they're the best goals for you, and how to make sure you'll follow through on them throughout the year. It's a compilation of years of research and the best techniques for getting what you want in life!
In fact, if you want more guidance on how to establish relevant goals with an action plan to accomplish them, email me at Rosie@InnerBrillianceCoaching.com (by January 31st) to receive a complimentary, easy to follow process to do so. On February 1st, you'll receive a daily email with each step in the process (as listed below) but with more detail.
Until next time, have fun going for what you want! And make this year the year you get it all!
Take Care,
Rosie Guagliardo
InnerBrilliance Coaching
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Goals Lead To Happiness
Deepak Chopra explains as long as we're alive, we'll always have desires or intentions for certain things to happen in our lives. The better we are at fulfilling our desires or intentions, the happier we will be.
More specifically, it's not necessarily the attainment of the result that makes us happy, but actually pursuing the goal. The idea is that if we commit to a goal or objective, we're more likely to enjoy the journey towards the goal. When we feel good and enjoy our lives, we're more likely to attain a better outcome (which could increase good feelings).
Tal Ben-Shahar, the Harvard Professor and author of Happier: Learn the Secrets to Daily Joy and Lasting Fulfillment, further supports this notion that having goals could make us happier. He defines happiness as a balance of experiencing positive emotion and a sense of purpose (in other words, experiencing a balance of pleasure and meaning). He further explains our sense of purpose must be self generated and have personal significance in to order to feel happy (i.e., feel good).
We also feel happy when we're challenged and realize our full potential. But pleasure is an important part of happiness too. So, we can't be all about action. That would be exhausting and we couldn't sustain that kind of life.
So, one way we could be happier is to create goals that provide pleasure and a sense of meaning to our lives. To learn more about how to create these kinds of goals as well as how to generate energy to achieve them, check out the information below.
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How To Develop Goals
The only way that having goals can make you feel good, perform better, provide a sense of direction, and liberate you to enjoy the journey on the way to achieve them is if you've established goals that are based on what is valuable to you. Below you'll find seven steps you could take to develop goals that are more motivating to pursue.
- Create a quiet space to set your mantra for the year (revisit last month's newsletter for the exercise).
- Identify and leverage your natural talents and strengths to be better equipped to pursue your goals.
- Focus on your values (not what is important to your friends, family, or society).
- Dig deep to understand your life purpose and consider what gift you have that you'd like to share with your world in a way that has meaning for you.
- Understand who you are at your best and create a collage representing this best self.
- Be in the mindset of your best self and create goals that are in line with your overall life purpose and based on your values and strengths.
- Be mindful of what might hold you back and notice when it shows up to keep you living the same life versus allowing you to grow and challenge yourself.
These steps will help you generate energy toward developing relevant goals you'll want to wake up and go for every morning! For more details on each step and for additional exercises, email me at Rosie@InnerBrillianceCoaching.com for your 21 day program to creating goals you'll love to pursue.
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Confirm Best Goals For You
Gaining clarity on what you want can take time. If you feel like you can easily create goals but sometimes have trouble pursuing them, it could be because the goals you created aren't what you genuinely want in your heart. Or they just need to be modified to be more in line with what you want.
My new year's resolutions used to always include "losing 10 pounds". I no longer have that on my list because I really don't care about weighing a certain amount. I do care about having energy and feeling fit. So my now health goals revolve around those desires, and I feel better than ever!
See below for steps on how to confirm the goals you've created are truly meaningful to you and ways to refine them to insure you feel pleasure and joy along the way to achieving them.
- State each goal you have created out loud and check in with your body to notice any sensations. If you feel good and excited, your goal is probably right on track.
- Identify how you want to feel when you achieve each goal and then from that place determine what is the next step to take to achieve this goal.
- Commit to each of your goals for one day (or one week). Really fully commit! If going for the goal isn't fun or doesn't feel good, consider modifying it.
- Revisit if you want to do these goals or if you feel like you have to do them and get rid of the ones you feel like you have to do.
- List who could support you in achieving your goals and what you need to accomplish them. Then share your goals and needs with these people.
- Ask yourself what is the deeper purpose behind achieving these goals (and keep reminding yourself of these deeper meanings).
Once you feel like your goals really resonate with you, insure you have the best structure in place to achieve them. See the information below on how to make your goals happen! If you need additional support on how to refine your goals, sign up for the 21 day program.
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Follow Through On Goals
After spending time to get clear on what you want, make sure you have the structure and support you need in your life and environment to sustain the energy to achieve your goals.
Below are proven ways on how to best achieve your goals from such experts as David Allen (Getting Things Done: The Art of Stress Free Productivity) and Steve Chandler (The Story of You: And How to Create A New One)
- Think about who you need to be to achieve these goals and remind yourself about these qualities.
- Ritualize your behavior by putting time in your calendar to accomplish each goal (or at least each next step for your goals).
- Create a to-do list for your goals with action steps that are based on where you're located (e.g., "computer" or "home").
- Categorize action steps that come your way into the following areas: do immediately, defer it and do at a later time, or delegate to someone else.
- Prioritize the top 6 things you'll do every day, and make sure the toughest action item is planned when you'll have the most energy.
- Acknowledge/name the emotions you feel when you achieve your goals to re-associate your positive emotions with work and effort.
- Track your progress and keep yourself inspired by your little successes.
- If you're feeling stuck and unmotivated, try to make your action step fun.
Although all of these steps might feel like a lot of effort, taking this time at the beginning of the year to set your intentions and a plan will allow you to feel like you're easily leading your life in the direction you want for the rest of the year.
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Frequently Asked Questions
What is Life Coaching?
Wikkipedia Definition: Life coaching is a practice of assisting clients to determine and achieve personal goals. A coach will use a variety of methods, tailored to the client, to move through the process of setting and reaching goals. Coaching is not targeted at psychological illness, and coaches are not therapists (although therapists may be coaches). It's a partnership where a coach helps to uncover what you truly want and helps move you toward action or deepens your learning about a situation. For more information on how it works, click here. Who hires a Life Coach? You might want to hire a life coach if you ask yourself these questions:
- How can I have a happier and more fulfilling life?
- How can I be heard and have someone believe in me? How do I realize my goals and dreams that I know I could accomplish with some support?
- How can I find the energy to achieve my full potential and get motivated? I know I have so much potential that I'm not tapping into for various reasons.
- How can I express my true gifts and talents "waiting" to be offered to the world and incorporate them into my everyday life?
- How do I show the "real" me to coworkers, friends, and family?
- How do I find out who the "real" me is? What really makes ME happy?
- How do I make a change for a real difference in my life?
For more information on who hires a life coach, click here. For more information on the proven results and benefits of life coaching, click here.
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About InnerBrilliance Coaching & Rosie
| Rosie Guagliardo |
InnerBrilliance Coaching Services provides a safe, trusting environment for
creative and resourceful people to find their true purpose. Within that environment, we'll shine a light on your life so you can see it more clearly - your goals, your motivations, what holds you back and what propels you forward, ultimately illuminating a path to help you realize your full potential.
Rosie has trained at Coachville and is a graduate of the Coaches Training Institute recognized by the International Coaching Federation as an accredited coaches training school. She has also received the CPCC accreditation from the Coaches Training Institute and the ACC accreditation from the International Coaching Federation. She graduated with a bachelor of Liberal Arts and Sciences from Northwestern University where she majored in Psychology and International Studies.
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