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THE MONTHLY CAUCUS
The Episcopal Women's Caucus:
Advocating for women since 1971, theologically, spiritually and politically.
November 2010 |
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IN THIS ISSUE: '16 DAYS' BEGINS
Episcopal 16 Days of Activism Against Gender Violence Campaign
November 25-December 10, 2010
Women around the world will unite to raise awareness about gender-based violence as a human rights issue at local, national, regional and international levels. Women from the three affiliated organizations are invited to participate in whatever way they choose in the Episcopal-focused 16 Days campaign.
Women of The Episcopal Church are responding to the call for support of the 16 Days of Activism Against Gender Violence campaign, sent out by the newly-formed partnership of Anglican Women's Empowerment (AWE), Episcopal Church Women (ECW) and Episcopal Women's Caucus (EWC). The 16 Days campaign, which runs from November 25 to December 10, was created by the Center for Women's Global Leadership at Rutgers University.
For more information about 16 Days and the Episcopal Church, visit http://episcopal16days.wordpress.com, share your activities on the blog at the website, or log on to the Facebook page.
If you are a victim of abuse or violence at the hands of someone you know or love, or you are recovering from an assault by a stranger, you are not alone.
Loving God, you made us in your image and saw that we were good. You are a sanctuary for all who live in fear, struggle to survive, or who feel alone. You give us hope and courage while we struggle against cruelty, exclusion, and oppression. You help us to rise above our loneliness and pain that we might see new possibilities for our lives.
In this issue of The Monthly Caucus, you will find several sites where information is provided about, and help is offered to, victims of gender violence.
* Statistics about domestic violence;
* Not in Our Pews, by the Rev. Terri C. Pilarski, a licensed Episcopal priest in the
Diocese of Chicago who attended a conference about gender violence;
* Healing Voices - Personal Stories, a new organization;
* Walk a Mile in Her Shoes -- a resource for men who want to help stop violence
against women;
* Example of Walk a Mile in Her Shoes;
* What can you or your church do to help?
* Some Good News: Recognition of women who are or have been groundbreakers.
We would love to hear from you about these issues and how they do or don't inform your thinking and living. You can always get a good discussion going on our Facebook page, and please do check out our new Episcopal Women's Caucus website: www.episcopalwomenscaucus.org.
Please feel free to pass along articles to friends or forward this email ... and let us hear from you. And if you are a member and would like to "re-up" your membership, please do so by filling out the coupon at the bottom of the page. If you are new to the Caucus and would like to be a member, please use the same form.
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Statistics about Domestic and Sexual Violence in the Workplace
1. 50% of women are harassed at work by abusive partners who call them frequently during the day or come to their place of work unannounced.
2. 75 % of abuse offenders used workplace resources at least once to express remorse or anger, check up on, pressure, or threaten the victim.
3. 80% of victims of rapes or sexual assaults committed in the workplace are women.
4. The leading cause of death on the job for women in the United States is homicide.
5. 83% of females and 32% of males with developmental disabilities have experienced sexual assault.
6. More than 70% of United States workplaces do not have a formal program or policy that addresses workplace violence. Programs or policies related to workplace violence are more prevalent among larger private establishments or governments.
7. The highest rate of worker homicides occurs in retail industries. The transportation and public administration sectors also have high homicide rates, but the actual numbers are smaller than those for retailers because the number of employees is not as large.
8. About 1 in 8 stalking victims misses work as a result of their victimization. More than half of these victims lose 5 days or more from work.
9. Women are much more likely than men to be victims of on-the-job intimate partner homicide.
10. The common forms of stalking in the workplace are harassment via letters, e-mails, gifts, and phone calls. Common workplace stalking behaviors also include driving through the parking lot looking for the victim's car, and watching for the victim to enter and leave the workplace each day. If the stalker works within the same organization as the victim (internal), behaviors may extend to monitoring the victim's workstation, leaving gifts on the victim's desk, or taking "souvenirs" from the victim's belongings. The internal workplace stalker often has the ability to observe many of the workplace social interactions of the victim, and in some cases may even attempt to gain access to confidential personnel files to obtain more information about his/her target.
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NOT IN OUR PEWS
by the Rev. Terri C. Pilarski, licensed Episcopal priest in the Diocese of Chicago
The first congregation I served as rector struggled with the reality that a prominent couple in the parish was going through a divorce, the wife a victim of years of domestic abuse. With the pending divorce the abuse escalated, and threatened to spill into the church itself. A few years later my friend and colleague at another church experienced a tragic domestic violence episode in her congregation. Throughout this time I learned that domestic violence was, by far, the primary cause of police intervention in our small but wealthy suburban community.
At a recent conference called "Not In Our Pews," held in Oconomowoc, Wisconsin, and sponsored by Project SAFE, an organization comprised of a number of religious institutions and service provider agencies in Wisconsin, I learned more about this all-too-common tragedy in our society. First, I learned that Domestic Violence, while a term still used for a variety of policy reasons, is often known as Intimate Partners Violence. This term expands the issue beyond the violence that occurs in some marriages to include a new awareness of violence in teen dating, in GLBT couples, and couples who do not live in the same house.
Domestic Violence/Intimate Partner Violence is defined as: a pattern of abusive behavior in which a person uses coercion, deception, harassment, humiliation, manipulation and/or force in order to establish and maintain power and control over that person's current or former intimate partner.
The conference goals were: to build partnerships between congregational leaders, service providers, and law enforcement programs; to provide faith and congregational leaders with strategies and resources to effectively and safely meet the needs of victims and families; to equip clergy and lay leaders to assist victims to make thoughtful decisions from a theological perspective while remaining in relationship with God and their faith community; to explore how faith communities might work to end Intimate Partner Violence; and to help congregational leaders navigate a congregation that is impacted by Intimate Partner Violence. The keynote speaker was the Rev. Al Miles, an expert in Intimate Partner Violence prevention and treatment, and the author of several books on domestic violence including Domestic Violence: What Every Pastor Needs to Know 2nd edition, due for release in February 2011 from Fortress Press.
This conference emphasized the need for participants, as clergy and lay leaders of congregations, to have increased awareness of the prevalence of Intimate Partners Violence, including that which occurs in teen dating and elder abuse. We cannot hide behind a veil pretending that it only happens in certain demographics. The reality is this violence knows no boundaries and impacts equally every demographic across the spectrum from rich to poor, from educated to not, across lines of race and ethnicity, age and gender orientation. Congregations need to reach out to social service agencies that specialize in Domestic Violence and Intimate Partner Violence and work together to raise awareness and form responses to this rampant problem in our midst. 95% of reported cases of Intimate Partner Violence occurs with a man victimizing a woman. As clergy we have a responsibility to become educated and able to discuss Domestic Abuse/Elder Abuse/Teen Dating/Intimate Partner Violence in premarital counseling sessions, outlining what constitutes a healthy relationship; to recognize the warning signs when they appear; and to have an appropriate course of action ready. A healthy relationship does not include coercion, deception, harassment, humiliation, manipulation and/or force in order to establish control and maintain power over a current or former intimate partner.
A few key points on what to do or not to do:
· Do not attempt couple counseling when Intimate Partner Violence is a known element of the relationship.
· If a victim speaks up and shares her story, do not judge, do not put words in her mouth, do not encourage her to stay in the relationship, or leave, or use Scripture as a means to further victimize her.
· Offer hope. Leaving an offender is a process; victims want the violence to end, not the relationship.
· Violence is a learned behavior, it is a conscious decision and a willful choice of the perpetrator to get what they want when they want it.
· Intimate Partner Violence is not caused by addiction to drugs or alcohol, stress, children, job stress, psychological illness, pets, Satan --- and, especially, the abuse is not caused by the victim. It is not a problem of anger or control.
·Intimate Partner Violence is a problem of entitlement and a demand to have their way when they want it.
· Do not think that you can assist the person alone. Reach out for trained help from an appropriate social service agency.
· Provide congregational training on Intimate Partner Violence.
· Provide resources that women can find in your church bathrooms that will help them find appropriate help, including an emergency shelter for battered women. Likewise provide resources for men who are victims of abuse.
Intimate Partner Violence includes physical, psychological, verbal, sexual, pet or property destruction (if I can't hurt you, I will hurt what you love), and stalking. The tactics include, but are not limited to, dictating how victims dress; to whom they can relate or not relate; what they can or cannot say and think; when the victim can or cannot study, worship, or work; describing the victim as disgusting, disrespectful, or using vulgar names like slut, stupid, whore.
When clergy and lay leaders are willing to become informed, educated, and trained; and by reaching out and teaming up with social service agencies, their congregations can create healthier environments. Clergy and lay people are able to bring in the spiritual dimension of hope, grace, and love that social service agencies are often prevented from approaching due to the limits of their practice. By partnering together, faith communities and social service agencies can work to create intervention strategies and prevention strategies for healthier communities.
Resources compiled by Safe Havens, an interfaith partnership against domestic violence:
Articles and Brochures
Faith Trust Institute: "What Every Congregation Needs to Know About Domestic Violence," 1994, 206-634-1903, www.faithtrustinstitute.org. Also, "What You Need to Know if a Child is Being Abused or Neglected," 1992.
Fortune, Marie, "A Commentary on Religious Issues in Family Violence," originally published in Violence in the Family: A Workshop Curriculum for Clergy and Other Helpers. Pp. 137-151, The Pilgrim Press, Cleveland, 1991. Contact Faith Trust Institute: 206-634-1903, www.faithtrustinstitute.org.
Peace At Home, Inc., "Domestic Violence: The Facts," 1994-2004. Contact Peace At Home, Inc: 877-546-3737, peaceathome@peaceathome.org.
Safe Havens, "Guidelines for Working with Congregations Facing Domestic Violence." Contact SafeHavens: 617-645-1820, info@interfaithpartners.org.
Books
Adams, Carol J. & Fortune, Marie M., Editors, Violence Against Women and Children: A Christian Theological Sourcebook. The Continuum Publishing Company, New York, NY, 1998.
Afkhami, M. Safe and Secure: Eliminating Violence Against Women and Girls in Muslim Societies. Sisterhood Is Global Institute, Bethseda, MD, 1998. Contact Faith Trust Institute, 206-634-1903, www.faithtrustinstitute.org.
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Healing Voices - Personal Stories
A new organization has been formed to raise public awareness of women's striving to overcome abusive trauma through the creation and distribution of film and video called "Healing Voices -- Personal Stories."
If you have a story to share or know of a story, Healing Voices is interested in hearing from you to explore the possibility of collaborating. Please email them healingvoices.personalstories@yahoo.com
Consider volunteering. While the home office is located in Santa Fe, NM, the organization views itself as a national group.
Professional filmakers with particular interest in the Healing Stories mission are invited to email with contact information so you can be added to their database.
The Founding Board members are:
JoAnne Tucker, Ph.D. The former Artistic Director and Choreographer for the Avodah Dance Ensemble, New York City, retired and worked with women in prison. This work inspired her to found Healing Voices -- Personal Stories.
Lynette Montoya, founder of the Santa Fe Hispanic Chamber of Commerce and president of Global Hotel for 12 years. Ms. Montoya has been actively involved in the Housing Assistance Council, which provides affordable housing services to the citizens of New Mexico; and she is also a fund raiser for non-profits serving Santa Fe's youth.
Lindarose Berkley, M.S.W., has been a Clinical Social Worker, treating ill people in a psychiatric setting. She volunteers her professional skills to a school-based mentoring program and has a deep interest in the destructive impact of trauma on the development of young people and adults and their ongoing struggle to survive and flourish.
Regina Ress is an award-winning storyteller, actor, writer, and educator, who has perfomed and taught from Brazil to Broadway, in English and Spanish, in settings from grade schools to senior centers, prisons to Carnegie Hall, homeless shelters to The White House. She teaches storytelling for NYU's Program in Educational Theatre and produces the storytelling series at The Provincetown Playhouse. She has performed and led workshops at women's prisons in NY, DE, and CT. In the aftermath of 9/11, under the auspices of Mercy Corps, she facilitated workshops for adults on the issue of children and trauma.
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 Walk a Mile in Her Shoes®
www.walkamileinhershoes.org
Started by Frank Ba ird in 2001, The International Men's March to Stop Rape, Sexual Assault and Gender Vilolence has grown each year since. Check the website for local march sites. The red shoes are part of the identity of Walk a Mile.
The website says: First you walk the walk, then you talk the talk.
First You Walk the Walk
There is an old saying: "You can't really understand another person's experience until you've walked a mile in their shoes." Walk a Mile in Her Shoes® asks men to literally walk one mile in women's high-heeled shoes. It's not easy walking in these shoes, but it's fun and it gets the community talking about something that's really difficult to talk about: gender relations and sexual violence.
Then You Talk the Talk
It's critical to open up communication about sexual violence. While hidden away, it's immune to cure. Unfortunately, it's difficult to get people talking. People unfamiliar with sexual violence often don't even want to know it exists. It's ugly. People who have experienced it themselves want to forget about it. How do you get them talking now, so they can prevent it from happening? And after it's happened, how do you get them to talk about it so they can recover?
Walk a Mile in Her Shoes® provides several opportunities to get people talking. For preventive education, it helps men better understand and appreciate women's experiences, thus changing perspectives, helping improve gender relationships, and decreasing the potential for violence. For healing, it informs the community that services are available for recovery. It demonstrates that men are willing and able to be courageous partners with women in making the world a safer place.
The poster below shows what one campus did for this march.
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WHAT CAN YOU (or your church) DO TO HELP VICTIMS OF VIOLENCE or HUMAN TRAFFICKING?
Extend a hand - that offers a gift card.
Think: phone card -- chain store card -- grocery store card.
Contact your local shelter for abused women or contact the local authorities for where to send these cards (you will not be told locations where victims reside). Victims often need clothes or food for their families; they have left home for a safe place with few clothes and no source of income. Victims often need to get in touch with friends or family but have no phone access. These simple cards empower them to choose what they need.
Print the number for the local abuse hot-line or shelter and
paste on the inside of the booth doors in the ladies' room.
If you mention the topic of trafficking or abuse in a sermon or church newsletter or bulletin, be sure to include the numbers for a hot-line or shelter.
A woman who reads or hears about abuse may experience a "light bulb" moment
and need a resource to contact.
GET EDUCATED
To get immediate help and support:
Battered Women's Justice Project's Military Advocacy Resource Network
http://www.bwjp.org/military.aspx
http://usmvaw.com/violence-against-military-wome/ http://www.arlingtoncemetery.net/lbryan.htm
Women's Rights at Change.org
http://womensrights.change.org/blog/category/domestic_violence
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Women in the News
A Pioneer for Women: Lueta Bailey
 On the 40th anniversary of women being seated as deputies to the Episcopal Church's triennial legislative gathering, called General Convention, pioneer Lueta Bailey, of Griffin, Georgia, was honored November 12, at the Diocese of Atlanta Diocesan Council gathering with an award commemorating that event.
Bailey was the first woman to address General Convention, in 1967 in Seattle, and was among the first women seated at the 1970 General Convention in Houston. Bonnie Anderson, president of the Episcopal Church's House of Deputies, presented the award. "We would not be where we are today without the courage and determination of Mrs. Bailey and her colleagues who worked so hard to help the Episcopal Church understand that its discriminatory policies were not God's will," Anderson said.
Bailey, who was an active leader in the Episcopal Church for more than three decades, attended the presentation with her son, David, and also attended a luncheon in her honor with other women deputies whose work she made possible.
By the time she was seated at General Convention in 1970, Bailey was a veteran in the campaign against discrimination. In the mid-1960s, she and her husband, Seaton, along with fellow parishioners at St. George's, played a key role in desegregating two lunch counters in Griffin in the face of Ku Klux Klan opposition. During her leadership in the Diocese of Atlanta, she also helped lead the integration of the diocesan camp and conference center.
Bailey went on to become the first woman to chair the church's powerful Standing Committee on Program, Budget and Finance, and served nine years on the church's Executive Council.
New Dean Installed: The Rev. Judith Anne Sullivan, a former corporate market ing  executive with the Institute of Scientific Information (now part of Thomson Reuters), was installed on October 17 as the fourth dean of Philadelphia Episcopal Cathedral. Sullivan most recently served as associate rector of the Church of the Redeemer in Bryn Mawr, Pennsylvania.She was a canon residentiary of Philadelphia Cathedral from 2004 to 2007.
Sullivan is a graduate of Wellesley College in Massachusetts, and of General Theological Seminary in New York. Prior to her ordination in 2004, she directed organizations serving children in Philadelphia public schools, including the Sponsor-A-Scholar program, which she replicated in 16 cities. Sullivan and her husband, Gil Rosenthal, live in Chestnut Hill. They have two grown daughters.
First Woman Priest Ordained in Diocese of Quincy: The Rev. Margaret Lee became the first woman to be ordained a priest in the 133-year history of the Peoria,  Illinois-based Episcopal Diocese of Quincy. Quincy Provisional Bishop John Clark Buchanan presided and preached during the service, on October 12, held in the context of the diocese's 133rd synod. Before being called to All Saints, Lee served at Christ Church in Moline, St. Mark's in Silvis, and Holy Trinity in Geneseo.
Lee has served for 14 years as a deacon in the Quad Cities, where she currently serves the congregation at All Saints Church in Moline. Almost 200 people attended her ordination during an 11:30 a.m. Holy Eucharist at the Cathedral Church of St. Paul in Peoria. She earned her Master of Divinity degree at Nashotah House Seminary in Wisconsin, where she is completing her doctor of divinity degree.
Honoring Pauli Murray: The first African American woman ordained as an Episcopal priest, Pauli Murray was born in 1910 and raised in Durham, where she grew to be a poet, writer, activist, lawyer, professor and at age 67, a priest. She celebrated the Eucharist for the first time at the Chapel Hill Church where her grandmother had been baptized as a slave.
Strength from All My Roots is a an Exhibition of Textile Arts honoring Pauli Murray.
A reception will be held on Friday, November 19, from 6:00 to 9:00 p.m. at St. Philip's Episcopal Church in Durham, North Carolina.
Open throughout November, Monday-Friday, 10:00 a.m.- 4:00 p.m., the exhibition is sponsored by the Resource Center for Women and Ministry in the South in Durham, St. Philip's Episcopal Church, and the Pauli Murray Project at Duke University; and is funded in part by the Mary Duke Biddle Foundation.
For more information, contact RCWMS, 919-683-1236, rcwmsnc@aol.com, www.rcwms.org
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Be a Caucus Companion:
* Pray daily for the inclusion and acceptance of all people.
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AND | | | The Episcopal Women's Caucus wants to know: In what ways might we gather (in person or online) to support one another, the Caucus, and all Women's Ministries? Over the next few months, help the Caucus board envision how to grow our important advocacy work in new and lively directions. Please send your thoughts, ideas or insights to ewcaucus@yahoo.com. We'll share your comments in upcoming "Monthly Caucus" e-mails and in future issues of Ruach.
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Use this form to join the EWC, renew your membership, or make a donation. Make check out to EWC and mail to: Episcopal Women's Caucus, 413 Buffware Court, Charleston, SC, 29492-8212.
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