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JackDermody dot com Newsletter

PERSONALITY MATTERS

In This Issue
Uncover Gold with no survey
Gold hand language
I can't please a Gold person
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Greetings!

  

It's Gold week, folks. And that means the theme of guessing a person's Color without a survey continues. It's the second week of four. For last week's article, go to the archives to check out ways to uncover a Green temperament fairly quickly.
  
And it's the LAST FEW DAYS to sign up for my workshop Tools to Create a Killer Sales Team. I GUARANTEE this is the best educational business investment to make this year. Check it out in the left column. Sponsored by The Phoenix Business Journal, Arizona Small Business Association (ASBA), Ray Silverstein, and Four Windows.  
Uncover a Gold person -- without a survey!
 

 

Gold Woman

 

How do you guess that somebody is Gold?

This week we "uncover" Gold people. Once you engage in conversation, watch for the following.

1.    Gold folks are conservative. Their clothing reflects customary, inoffensive styles - whatever the situation calls for. They will usually greet you warmly, with a smile, and are likely to prefer a simple handshake over any other kind of greeting. Of all the Colors, Golds are likely to seem sure-footed and centered. They expect you to be appropriate, respectful, professional, polite, honest, - even traditional. Be punctual - on time or early. They want to feel normal and want you to be normal. Let them feel they truly belong and are appreciated.

2.    Gold hands can be cleavers or fists. Gold gestures will not usually be showy except when becoming enthusiastic. To make a point, a Gold may show  a rising fist like Spartacus holding firmly to the reins of the horses pulling his chariot - the reins passing under the curled fingers and between the index finger and the thumb.  One or both hands may become cleavers, chopping down to emphasize a point, or even to indicate the subject or opinion is closed and final. Watch for finger-pointing -- not jabbing -- to indicate an important point is being listed. Sometimes a finger wags to indicate negativity or judgment. The hands might also outline boxes and rectangles, or their corners, to show that their ideas fit into a framework of some kind.

3.    Golds may seem skeptical and negative at first. When you first approach Gold people, you may guess - often correctly - that they "need to be shown proof" before you will be trusted. Watch their body language for folded arms and quizzical looks in their eyes - you know, the kind that says "I'm from Missouri. Show me."  Of all the Colors, they are the most realistic, even pessimistic, one might say. Golds feel strongly in their belief systems and track record for personal choices, so do not be surprised if they tell you they "know what's best" and they might use words like "There's a right way and a wrong way to do everything."

4.    Golds may recoil if you surprise them or work too hard to impress them with emotions or overly happy body motions. Be formal with Golds. They want you to be dependable from the get-go. They do not react well to surprises and spontaneity because they do not live their lives that way. They want to avoid surprises - especially unpleasant ones - and they certainly frown upon the dangers of being impulsive.  If a big change is called for, they want to be thoroughly prepared for it - and that includes buying something new.

5.    Golds are concrete thinkers and quickly ask for clarity. Do not be surprised if a Gold person asks questions like, "What exactly to you mean?" "What exactly do you want me to do?"  "Why should I spend money on this product?" "Is this a sure thing, or is there some risk here?" They may demand and expect an orderly presentation of your ideas - accurate and thorough. They like steps and directions, and will follow them gladly - if they decide to. WARNING: Avoid digressions, interruptions, multi-tasking or anything else that will disrupt the presentation of organized thought.

6.    Gold people are not bored with long processes and lots of details. If you are afraid you will bore your Gold prospect, worry no more. More often than not, a Gold person will happily be walked through your careful explanations of things. Why? A Gold's strongest core value is responsibility - and if spending two hours with you to make the right decision will fill the need for making a responsible decision, then they will glad put in the time.

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Gold hands of Dan Rather

DNC: Dan Rather

DNC: Dan Rather

Not a few network news anchors have a Gold temperament, as does Dan Rather, formerly of CBS News. In this clip check out his hand movements and read paragraph 2 "Gold hands can be cleavers or fists" in the preceding article. 

 

Be a people watcher from a distance and try to guess their temperaments just from body language and hand gestures. It's not always easy -- and sometimes nearly impossible -- but quite often the hand gestures are a dead giveaway!  

 

  


 

  

I can't ever please a Gold person!

   

Angry Woman 

Dear Jack,

Both of my parents are Gold. In fact, the two of them have identical spectrums: Gold-Green-Orange-Blue. And they are both introverts.  

I am an extraverted, outspoken Blue-Orange-Green-Gold. Mom and Dad live a life of rules and routine. My thinking is so flexible that I scare myself sometimes. They hoard their money and resources. I give everything away.

All of that is understandable and, of course, I love them deeply. But what drives me nuts is that their world is black and white. There's a right and wrong way to do everything. And worse, they are not afraid to judge the behavior of others - no matter who it is, including yours truly. For example, my salary isn't high enough, my career isn't mainstream enough, my choices of boyfriends aren't quality enough. In a phrase, I do not meet their expectations. Never did. And, I can assure you, never will.

My Gold friends and former Gold boyfriends are not much different really. Am I a freak in a Gold world? I hope not. To me, thinking freely, speaking freely, and acting freely are just as important as food and air. Will I ever be able to please those Gold people?

What do I do, Jack?

Mary Kay Dubois

 

Hello Mary Kay,

Before I say anything, I urge you to take a quick look at David Keirsey's descriptions of your parents' Guardian Inspector (click to read) temperament as well as your own Idealist Champion (click to read) temperament.

The notion of "polar opposites" only begins to describe the temperamental distance between you and your parents.

Your parents are probably as frustrated with you as you with them. They are Beethoven, 2D, and Monopoly. You are the Cool Kids, 3D, and the Xbox; they are in love with the past; you find rapture in flexibility and the future.

But I digress. You are upset because you want to please Gold people and they are not biting, right?

The real answer is that nobody should set out to get complete approval from anybody. Why? Because it's impossible.

So what things are still possible? The initial goal of any relationship is for both people might be to work very, very hard to understand each other. You might begin by asking yourselves about each other's values, needs, joys, strengths, and those things that stress you out or frustrate you. Once you have a rough score on each other, then start a thinking and talking process. Ask yourselves what you are willing to live with and what things could be deal-breakers.

For example, you might decide that there is no point in being upset because House A is always neat and clean while House B never is. Neither one of you lives in each other's house, so why stress about it? On the other hand, you might personally love to question (at the Thanksgiving table) dozens of rules in the church that your parents attend, and they never hold back in their judgment of your political opinions. In this latter case, you might determine these issues to be deal-breakers and then proceed to agree to limit such discussions to a certain time and place - and nowhere else.

To tell you the truth, Gold people do not see themselves are narrow-minded or overly judgmental. Scratch the surface and you will find intelligent folks underneath who pine for a perfect world, but they know that the world is imperfect. Of course they will carry on about "what's wrong with things," but so what? In the end, when they take a close look at people they care about, they will look at the bigger picture - at your integrity and happiness. Believe me, they care about you and are often quite proud of you in more ways than you have imagined.

Appreciate them for who they are. Stop seeing them through Blue-Orange windows. Once they see that you respect them for who they are, they may be able to ignore their own Gold-Green glass panes long enough to celebrate the phenomenal person that you are.

 

Jack

 

 

This really is YOUR newsletter. I like sharing stuff more than selling stuff. Send your stories and comments, please, to [email protected].

 

Sincerely,

 


Jack Dermody
JackDermody dot com

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