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Greetings!
The three most read parts of each newsletter are (1) the YouTube examples, (2) the archives, and (3) the story at the end of each letter. Cool. Keep giving me feedback, folks. And if you have a story or questions, submit away! Send to dermody@cox.net.
If you want to find out the Color spectrum of someone in your life, invite them to take the Four Windows Personality Survey at www.JackDermody.com/4wps. J |
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Blue is the Color of the Week: Why You Are LUCKY to Have a BLUE Boss!
This is the third article in a series of four about the great fortune of having a boss of each of the four Colors. To read the first & second articles on Green and Gold bosses, click on the archives link to the left.
This week is Blue - the Idealist, The Diplomat. Blue Idealists care most about harmonic relationships - dispelling conflict, matching up soulmates, and even believing in the actual possibility of world peace.
Blue folks are teachers, counselors, champions of ideas and even healers. They do not often end up in the top spots in either business or politics, but they can be some of the world's more effective leaders, e.g., Gandhi, Joan of Arc, Martin Luther King, Jr., Eleanor Roosevelt. No U.S. President has been Blue, but some Blue candidates have come close, e.g., John Kerry. A number of U.S. Presidents have Blue as a second Color, e.g., Ford, Bush Sr., Reagan, Clinton. Perhaps the most famous Blue on the international scene in recent years was Princess Diana.
You are LUCKY to have a Blue boss for many reasons. What follows are nine reasons to be glad you get to work for the Blue boss above you.
1. Blue bosses don't like issuing orders. They'd rather the rules and policies were the result of a group consensus. Blues are usually open to ideas and changes. If you like working in a highly democratic atmosphere, you will love having a Blue boss.
2. Blues in general are horrible cops. They do not want to enforce anything. They believe people are naturally good and that they should be in charge of their own behavior.
3. When there are people problems, Blue bosses want to help solve them. Although they are most annoyed by conflict, they are the first in line to mentor, counsel, coach, i.e., act as an effective intermediary. Likely the very best listeners on the staff at any level are Blue people. Whether you want to discuss tax issues or strategic planning, the discussion is very personal for Blue people. The dynamics of the relationship with people in the room are every bit as important as the issues being discussed.
4. The person who invented the line "Be all that you can be" was probably a Blue person. They support your personal growth and the general improvement of the entire workforce.
5. Blue bosses naturally motivate and inspire. "Enthusiasm" is their middle name. Few bosses will be as appreciative of your role in the organization - and they will tell you so, maybe constantly.
6. People come first with Blue bosses. They will defend you up and down the entire hierarchy if need be. People are nearly always first; task is second.
7. Blue bosses love a highly positive and comfortable work environment for everyone - right down to meeting the environment needs of each individual. This includes the schedule, the d�cor, the temperature, the sociability, independent vs. group activities, high-energy meetings, excellent communication in all forms, etc.
8. Blues are big dreamers and open to the big dreams of others. Ideas are king for Blues.
9. Of all the Colors, Blue bosses are perhaps the most flexible. Even when plans are firmly in place, a Blue boss will consider alternatives when nobody else will.
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Blue Richard Gere on YouTube: The Blue-Orange Actor Is a Healer
From his expressed ideas and personal actions, temperament experts figure that Richard Gere is a Healer - the relatively rare introverted Blue-Orange person.
In his early life, Richard Gere excelled at gymnastics, music and philosophy. Most of us know him as a first-rate actor. Along the way, he became a practicing Buddhist. Today he advocates for human rights, land rights for tribal peoples, ecological causes, AIDS awareness, and Healing the Divide (an organization promoting peace, justice and understanding).
Blue folks want great relationships between all people - from two friends or a committed couple to the whole enchilada: world peace!
In the video below, you see Gere promoting universal responsibility - the opposite of self-gratification and self-aggrandizement. He says that concentrating on himself "will ultimately turn rancid." Happiness comes from controlling one's own mind and being committed to serving others.
Click here to see and hear Richard Gere on Universal Responsibility: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ysPzn6Qpg2w
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What's YOUR Story? |
You know your Colors, so what info would you love to share about that? Or about your relationships? Submit a story to dermody@cox.net. If we like it, we'll publish it in a future JackDermody.com Newsletter. The next article is this week's story. |
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Jill McDermott's Story: My Aunt Gina Will Not Shut Up | |
Hi Jack,
I'm going to challenge your expertise here. I'm Blue. My Aunt Gina is Blue. I really do not like her. I'm sure she thinks that I adore her.
Okay, I learned in your workshop that Blue people are huge nurturers. And they love to talk. So far so good. I believe what you say because people love my own very Blue caregiving and I think they like spending long nights with me talking about everything and anything.
But Aunt Gina does not know when to stop. She not only takes on everybody's problems and feeds everybody, but she thinks she has to entertain them with her ideas and opinions from sunrise to midnight. I'm not kidding. If you ride in the car with her, she thinks you'll fall asleep unless she can "entertain" you with her commentary on just about everything. She's not Robin Williams, Oprah, or Arianna Huffington. She has very little interesting to say. And her opinions are generally banal and redundant.
We want to try to understand people, but this is ridiculous. I think she's nuts. Help me out here.
Jill
Hello Jill,
Jill, I know several people just like Aunt Gina - at least one of them is family too.
Step back for a minute. The four temperaments represented by the four Colors describe average healthy people living among average healthy people. Extreme personal issues like talking too much and over-nurturing represent negative behavior with psychological roots that cannot be overcome with a conversation or two.
One person I know who fits Aunt Gina's description was abused as a child - mentally and physically.
That being said, know that Blue people are more open than the other Colors to a problem-solving conversation. Whereas Blues are known for high emotion and sensitive feelings, they often eager to better themselves and improve relationships with others. In fact, calling attention to the relationship between you and Aunt Gina could be most effective.
Use words like this: "Aunt Gina, I want to have a conversation with you about our relationship. I want to have a lasting, strong relationship with you, but I'm struggling with a few issues." Opening the conversation this way will help her focus on what she cares most about - harmonic relationships.
Next, bring up your issue. Remember that Blue folks have thicker skins than they are often given credit for. Say right out, "Aunt Gina, I have space issues. I need alone time. And when I'm not alone, I have only so much patience with small talk. I crave periods of silence." There, you've clearly stated the issues.
Next comes discussion and agreement. Put the initial offers in Aunt Gina's lap: "Help me out here, Aunt Gina, how do you think we can spend time together where we both enjoy each other's company?"
If Aunt Gina is a reasonable person, she will ask questions and agree to compromises. If, like my own family member on the other hand, she rants and raves about your insensitivity, selfishness and "favorite-child-status" when growing up, then you know you may just have to visit less often just to preserve some balance in your life.
I am a believer that we do well to be up front when we are perpetually annoyed. We take positive action when we try to fix things. But when things don't work out, we want to feel free to opt out of relationships because , well, life is short. Other people have no right to rob us of joy and happiness. When we feel guilt for curtailing or quitting relationships, that guilt might be reframed as a problem to be solved through right actions -- be they atonement, forgiveness of self, therapy, or just plain moving on. Again, life is short.
Jack
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Once you understand the power of Colors, most of your relationships with others make sense. And you begin to breathe easy.
Sincerely,
Jack Dermody
Jack Dermody
JackDermody dot com |
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