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JackDermody.com Newsletter
Your Personality Matters
In This Issue
What Do the Colors Mean?
Get Respect from a Blue Person
See and Hear Blue Princess Di on YouTube
My Blue Boss Drives Me Crazy
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Question of the Week

Mary's Bundle

Check Out

the E-Book That Explains It All


Greetings!

 

My friend Mary Miscisin wrote the e-book that explains the Colors (the four temperaments) which my students and clients use in Four Windows programs. Her writings were only available in my workshops in the past, but today you can get your own copy of her easy-to-follow e-book through this site. Click here to learn more. Mary Miscisin's Four-Colors E-Book

 Blue is the Color of the Week

Ten Ways to Earn the Respect of a Blue Person

 

The Idealist Blue folks number about 15-20% of the population - more than the Green Rationals, but substantially fewer than the Gold Guardians and Orange Artisans.

 

These Idealists possess a diplomatic intelligence and leadership style. More than anything else, they care about harmony, especially harmonic relationships, empathy, and paths to happiness for everyone. The operative phrase is "care about" - whether it's an intimate personal relationship or world peace itself. Opposite the movie title "He's Just Not Into You," our Blue friends really, actually, truly are INTO YOU!

 

You find Blue folks among your colleagues and friends. Many heads of non-profit organizations are Blue - not surprisingly, because the work of foundations and causes are natural magnets for them. Blues often choose the "cause" professions: teaching, mentoring, championing ideas, and practicing healing arts. FYI - if you want to know more about applying these lessons to your own work team, consider booking a workshop. http://www.jackdermody.com/contact.html

 

If you want to win the respect of Blue folks, here are ten ways to earn it.

 

1.    "I'm here in the room. Care about me!" Blue folks hope that you sincerely care about them as persons - even more possibly than the both of you care about the circumstances or business than has brought you together. "Yeah, yeah, we're talking about life insurance, but are we enjoying each other's company and appreciating who each one of us is all about?"

2.    Don't be put off by their flexibility. Eagerly invite the Blue person to contribute ideas and make decisions. The problem is that because Blue folks are so flexible in their thinking they are left out of brainstorming and decision-making sessions. The other temperaments are eager for clarity, firm decisions, and imminent action; Blues tend to see gray where others prefer black and white - but don't let that deter you with Blues. More importantly, they tend to resent and even rebel against being left out because they feel at the deepest levels that that have a unique perspective on many issues. Their "gut feelings" may not look like science, but they are often more right than wrong.

3.    Do not let hierarchy get in the way of a good idea. One thing that Blues have in common with Greens is that they live in their heads. Abstract ideas swirly there and Blues, especially, want to express the results of their mental processing. A problem they run into is the time they voice an opinion to folks of much higher rank and get scolded for it because they bypassed the chain of command. Both Blues and Greens simply do not understand that any person of any status would not want to listen to a good idea. When you tell the troops you have an "open door policy", your Blue friends expect you to honor it.

4.    Do what you say you are going to do. Surely all people of all four temperaments care about integrity - certainly about a person's word. To break your word - to a Blue person - is potentially taken as a serious breach in the relationship. Where a Gold person (also caring deeply about integrity) may delete "trust" on your integrity list, the Blue person may feel that breech as a personal battering - and may become sad, disappointed, or even alarmed emotionally.

5.    Actively do your part to create an atmosphere of harmony. Although Blue folks are the first to line up to help resolve conflict, they dislike negativity intensely. To have effective communication with a Blue person, provide an atmosphere that supports acceptance, free speech, problem-solving, learning, and healing.

 

6.    Support teamwork. The most frequent pronoun voiced by Blues is the word "we." When it comes to getting good results on projects, Blues usually leap at the change to be part of a team, even to lead that team. Their natural diplomacy and desire to follow fulfilling pathways can be leveraged here for spectacular results.

 

7.    Communicate in person.  Blue folks can get edgy in overly efficient workplaces. If business is conducted inside cubicles, if communication takes place mainly through emails and overly prepared meetings, if people issues are usually subordinated to task issues - then you may have a problem with your Blue colleagues and employees. Blue folks are the most social of all the Colors - getting their energy from human contact, from social interaction, from one-to-one conversations, from open meetings, etc.

 

8.    Be patient with "drama". The emotional side of human nature, especially in a business setting, is often a turn-off to the other three temperaments, but Blue folks usually see the expression of emotion as logical, necessary, and important. "After all, we are all human. We are passionate about things, we love people intensely, we go to the streets to change communities, we are charged up by new directions in our companies - why do these things have to be squelched in the workplace?" If such "drama" bothers you, imagine what the workplace would be like without passion and genuine human excitement. Who would want to work there?

 

9.    Invite learning and bonding opportunities. It's easy to forget that people are not only result-producers. They are people. So when deciding to provide training opportunities, consider the bonds that will form among colleagues and employees as part of your return on investment. Blues are eager students, yes, but Blues also go out of their way to be the glue that keeps spirits up among any workforce.

 

10.Ask Blues for help.Of all the temperaments, Blue have the most difficulty saying "no". Of course this could be a problem for a Blue because taking on too many tasks could affect their stress levels and the quality of performance. However, Blue folks usually like nothing better than to be recognized for their unique gifts, knowledge, and skills - and they are eager to share everything they have.

 

The Very Blue Princess Diana on YouTube

Princess Diana easily represents an iconic Blue (Idealist) temperament. She is Blue-Orange and, as an Introvert, her temperament has been called The Healer. The interview excerpt you see in this week's YouTube video demonstrates this without a doubt.

Look for the following:

         Her gentle tone

         Desire to be Britain's "ambassador", i.e., to use her natural diplomatic intelligence and leadership

         Her qualifications are "People knowledge and communication skills"

         She feels she can help people deal with the disease of feeling unloved

         She wishes to be the public figure who gives love, affection, and light in people's dark tunnels

         She has a "unique role" - most Blue folks feel they are unique and have unique contributions to make

         For her own children, she wants them to have peace of mind in their roles as royals; she takes them to homelessness projects, AIDS clinics; she wants them to understand people's emotions, insecurities, distress, as well as their hopes and dreams

         For the royal family themselves, she wishes they can bridge the gap better in their understanding of the public, that they should have more contact with them, have a more in-depth relationship

CLICK HERE TO SEE AND HEAR THE INTERVIEW:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iAnXUxyu1XI&feature=related

What's YOUR Story?

 
You know your Colors, so what info would you love to share about that? Or about your relationships? Submit a story to [email protected]. If we like it, we'll publish it in a future JackDermody.com Newsletter. The next article is this week's story.

Rachel Dominguez's Story: My Blue Boss Drives Me Crazy

 

Dear Jack,

 

My Boss is Blue. I'm some kind of Gold-Orange can-do practical freak. I'd fire the boss if I could.

 

I went to your e-book and looked up all the weaknesses of Blues (pp. 9-10) and Tim (fake name) has ALL the weaknesses. But I will give you just his TOP FIVE most annoying weaknesses.

1.    Wishy-Washy

2.    Talking Too Much

3.    Over-Emotional

4.    Unrealistic

5.    Too Tenderhearted

This guy is creepy. I don't know why everybody else in the organization thinks he's wonderful. He takes forever to make decisions. You can't shut him up at meetings. If he doesn't get included at social events, he broods for days. He thinks we can save the whole world from his desk. And he gives into every sad sack story that walks into his office.

I can't escape him. I report to him directly. So help me out, Jack. What can I do?

FYI, the most important business always gets done eventually, but Tim's way of going about it makes me want to puke.

                                      Rachel

 

Hi Rachel,

As a Blue myself, I have had similar accusations pointed in my direction. You might laugh knowing that I most appreciate Gold-Orange temperament combos because most of them really are multi-tasking, can-do dynamos! Every organization needs them like bees need flowers.

Wow, where do I start? The good news is that - of all the Colors (temperaments) - Blue is the most willing to listen to and process criticism. Believe it or not, you could vent directly in front of Tim with nearly the same wording you just offered above and find a person wanting to take hold of the issues and brainstorm with you different ways to make it easier for you two to work together.

Here's the irony. People with Gold or Orange temperaments, like you, probably do not enjoy - much at all - long conversations about inner feelings and conflict resolution. Worse, your Blue boss will not want a short meeting, will hate doing the processing impersonally through email or something like that, and may really go crazy himself if your approach is too clinical or brief.

But you must address the problem because you work for the guy. You don't need more stress in your life. The business will suffer if you burn out soon.

So take advantage of the fact your Blue boss is like a very social animal. Get him out for a drink. Break the ice with lots of personal-interest conversation. When you are both relaxed, choose just ONE of your bigger beefs. Let's say you choose "wishy-washy," i.e., he takes too long to make decisions. Tell Tim that your work is being affected by the length of time it takes from the proposal to the implementation of business activities.

If the both of you are familiar with Colors, it would be even easier. In that case, just begin with these words: "Tim, your Blue is getting me down lately." That sets up a non-confrontational atmosphere for easy dialog where the other person immediately understands that his strengths sometimes come across as annoyances.

Back to the problem at hand, let Tim know two things about wishy-washy behavior: (1) How it affects business issues, e.g., timelines, budget, quality control, customer perceptions, etc. (2) How it makes you feel, e.g., level of stress, frustration, lack of control of your own projects, etc.

Believe me, your Blue boss will be the one temperament most open to hearing about your feelings. At their very core, Blue folks see feelings as having an important logic of their own - even in a business setting.

Finally, ask Tim to make an agreement with you for future dealings with the implementation of ideas. Rachel, it really is true that Blue folks find it very difficult to take action. This is because taking action somehow cuts off the flow of ideas and flexibility that they cling to as core values. On the other hand, once they understand how that fluidity affects others negatively, they'll be eager to take action.

Let me know if things work out between you two.

 

                                                                  Jack

  

Once you understand the power of Colors, most of your relationships with others make sense. And you begin to breathe easy.

Sincerely,

          Jack Dermody

Jack Dermody
JackDermody dot com