Look at your past objectively: Thomas Edison believed there were no such things as mistakes, only eliminated options that brought him one step closer to his goal. There is no such thing as "failure," he claimed, only lessons to be learned. Most people find it difficult to see a failure in an analytical, impartial fashion; many of us were raised to believe that if we failed at something, we were failures. Therefore, as adults, we take failure personally, believing our lack of success indicates a lack in our character. Instead, we must look at the situation objectively, as a matter of cause and effect. The fact that we fail in business situations does not mean we are failures, but rather that we didn't create the right cause to achieve the desired effect. If you find yourself in a stuck emotional state, go back and analyse the steps you took and see what you might have done differently. Logically and dispassionately examine the course you chose and determine why it did not yield the result you wanted. You'll need to acknowledge what you did that led to the failure, and take responsibility for it. Take what you can learn from it and move on.
Focus on the purpose on the other side of the pain: Happiness does not come from the elimination of pain, but from the realisation of your purpose. Keep reminding yourself why you are doing what you're doing. Even less lofty purposes, can be transformed over time if you look at the higher purpose. Perhaps you will make useful future contacts. Perhaps you are trying to save money to put your kids through University. The key is to look beneath the surface to find the spiritual meaning. To succeed, you'll need to look at the higher goals you've set and determine their importance, then focus on what is meaningful to you, rather than on the mundane aspects or the things you hate about what you need to do. If you develop and focus on a strong enough reason or purpose to keep going, you will succeed at each of the steps you take toward your goal. Without a sense of WHY, you will lack motivation and consciously or subconsciously doom yourself to failure.
You can't see the whole picture from where you stand: You never know from where you stand whether what you are experiencing will turn out to be good or bad until enough time has passed. A seemingly hopeless situation may be exactly the disaster you fear, but it may also turn from catastrophe into triumph in ways you are unable to predict. When people get stuck in "Why me?" mode as a result of a severe business loss, they require a mindshift in order to recover a sense of belief, hope, and inner strength so they can move on. If we can look outside of ourselves at others who have overcome adverse circumstances, we can gain the courage to believe in our ultimate success. In ActionCOACH there are many instances where coaches have turned their own businesses around to greater success after a period of doubt, and in turn helped clients achieve even more success. Soichiro Honda persevered through countless failures and setbacks, over four decades, before his Honda Motor Company became one of the largest automobile companies in the world. His inspiring story demonstrates the power of perseverance in the face of adversity and the necessity of innovation and creativity in periods of failure and loss. When we make a deliberate decision not to give up, then life seems to present opportunities we hadn't thought of or couldn't create ourselves.
It's not whether you have won or lost in the past; it's the person you have to become in order to win in the future: After a business set back has led you to analyse the objective data of your experience, you need to look within and ask, "What kind of person do I need to become in order to get what I want?" To become that person, you may need additional education or training; you may need to hire a better coach or find a mentor to guide you. Or you may require a character shift, to be reborn, in a sense. Lance Armstrong, for example, had never won a single Tour de France before he was diagnosed with testicular cancer. Then it looked like his cycling career, and maybe even his life, were over. He fought back hard and won. Today he credits his great cycling success to the person he became as a result of having cancer. He says, "Cancer saved my life."
Accept that falling is a normal part of life, but try to fall forward every time-in the direction of your goal: We are all continually creating our own destinies through the choices we make and our desire and determination to see them through. How you handle the crisis has a dramatic impact on how you will succeed from that point forward. You can choose to fall in the direction of your next goal, treating the fall as a sort of awkward but valuable step along the path of your life and career. If, instead of dwelling on the circumstances of the past, you can manage to move on in a forward direction, your fall will send you in the direction of your goals.
"Retreat" does not equal "defeat": A step back can be a valuable opportunity to regroup and rethink strategies and goals. Don't let pride keep you stuck in a wrong decision. Some business owners may need to be willing to change a course of action that isn't working, no matter how much faith, time, and money may have been put into it so far. You need to be willing to abandon a path that is not taking you where you want to go and start over again.
The reality is, if you quit, you guarantee that you will not be around to experience that which makes your suffering count for something. Turn your pain into a purpose. If you persevere, you will gain wisdom and perspective and finally realise why you went through everything: namely, to become a new person, the person you needed to become in order to achieve the success you were seeking.
Have a Very Happy and Profitable 2011 and Claim your right to Success.
