Behind closed doors, between the sheets, or wherever you do what you do, a whole lot of sistahs are inviting strange bedfellows into their "precious petals." The guest list includes Chlamydia, Gonorrhea, Syphilis, Herpes, Human Papillomavirus, and HIV/AIDS.They're all Sexually Transmitted Infections,(STIs) and they're no friends of yours! Beware!

STIs, sometimes known as Sexually Transmitted Diseases (STDs), can be guests who leave behind a treacherous "gift" that keeps on giving: flair-ups of warts and sores in the mouth, genitals and rectum (herpes); infertility (chlamydia); even death (HIV/AIDS). STIs are the major threat to public health for African American women and girls of all ages.

These insidious infections are rampant in our community. They're striking in epidemic proportions. Here's what we know from the most recent reporting by the Centers for Disease Control (CDC):

• Chlamydia infections among African American women are nearly eight times higher than for white women
• Primary and secondary syphilis in African American females is six times higher than in white females
• African American women face the highest risk of infection with herpes of all other women
• The gonorrhea rate for African Americans is eight times higher than for whites
  
• AIDS diagnoses for African American women are nearly 25 times the rate for white women and four times the rate for Hispanic women
• African American and Hispanic women together represent about 25 percent of all US women, yet account for 83 percent of AIDS diagnoses
• African American teenage girls have the highest prevalence of STIs, at 48 percent compared to 20 percent of their white and Mexican American sisters
  

STIs can strike at any age, no matter where you live, what your marital status, sexual orientation, income, or education. No one is immune. Some STIs are asymptomatic, meaning that they have no symptoms that one can see or feel, but they are there. Left undetected, they can cause ectopic pregnancies, miscarriages, infertility, and even death. Scary stuff, huh?


Let's face it: we're good at doing the deed, yet lousy at talking about it with our intimate partners, children, healthcare providers, and friends. Most of us are too embarrassed to talk about sex--much less our personal sexual behaviors and desires. But talk is strong medicine; it can protect you from making poor choices, as well as aid you in seeking the medical screening and support necessary to remain healthy.

So come on, y'all! It's time to stop the judgment, erase the stigma, and face the facts: we're harboring  powerful enemies in our midst that are robbing us of having healthy families and taking the lives of our loved ones. NO MORE!!!

What we can do

Let's start with the basics. All of us learned our ABCs when we were children, right? Well, there's another acronym for ABC--Abstinence, Being Faithful, and using Condoms. It's simplistic, and certainly not a cure all. But it is good starting point.

Here are some other important choices we all need to make:

• Know your status. If you are sexually active--no matter what your age--get annual gynecological health screenings. The regular pap test and clinical breast exam are the foundation. In addition, ask specifically for chlamydia screening and the HPV test. And if you experience any changes, don't wait! Contact your healthcare provide right away.
  
• Know your partner's status. Don't assume your partner is "clean," nor take his/her word for it. You have the right to insist on testing and that the results be shared with you.
• Learn safer sex practices AND USE THEM EVERY TIME! Don't assume that a condom alone is enough. In the case of HPV for example, the infection can live on parts of the skin that are not covered by a condom.
  
• Invest in protection yourself. Don't assume that your partner will be prepared. You might not find out until it's too late that safer sex accoutrements are not available. There are so many sad stories of sistahs who acquiesce to the coercion of their partner and have unprotected sex. It only takes one time. No Love Without The Glove, Baby!
• Talk with your children about sex. Don't wait until their teen years to have "The Big Talk." There are many teachable moments parents miss along the way that could have engraved healthy self-knowledge into our children. If are having difficulty talking with your child or teen, the American Social Health Association has created an incredible resource called "Be An Askable Parent," with tips about how to engage in discussions about sex.

Please remember: There isn't a partner so fine, an orgasm so powerful, a relationship so valuable, that it can override the best choices you can make. Protect yourself.

The American Social Health Association has the most informative, comprehensive information on sexual health issues available. Please visit the ASHA website for its outstanding feature articles during STD Awareness Month and all year round. ASHA also has a website especially for teens  called "I Wanna Know" that is excellent and well worth passing along to all the young people in your life.

Patience. Kindness. Support. Generosity. Appreciation. Forgiveness. These are all traits attributed to that magnanimous characteristic called Compassion.

You show Compassion to your loved ones every day. But what about you? Aren't you the #1 love in your life?

Far too often, far too many of us beat ourselves up over mistakes we've made, loves we've lost, weight we haven't, and any number of situations in which we find ourselves. Our internal critic works overtime, 24/7, flooding our minds, our hearts, and our spirits with desolation. Wrenching our gut with regret. Poisoning our sense of self-worth. Sound familiar?

If other folks treated us as poorly as we treat ourselves sometimes, we would readily identify it as abuse. Well my sistahs, such behavior is just as abusive when we do it to ourselves.

Compassion is the epitome of self-care: being kind, patient and forgiving. It is the most powerful and vital energy with which you have been blessed. It is your birthright. Showing yourself Compassion is the formula for a healthier relationship with self and others. Ashe!

Bet you thought cauliflower was just a bumpy, snowy-white, bland vegetable. While it's true the most commonly available variety in the supermarket is white, cauliflower has several boldly-colored siblings to make you stand up and take notice.

From deep purple to goldenrod yellow to neon green, it's time for a double-take on cauliflower.

 

But don't love cauliflower just because its pretty. Its packed with allicin to promote heart health, selenium to strengthen the immune system, and fiber to help improve colon function. If that isn't enough, cauliflower is a champion of women! It contains folate for cell growth, an essential nutrient for pregnant women to help unborn children grow properly. And this cruciferous vegetable is a warrior against breast and other female cancers. NOW you can show your love!

Try it! Here's a quick recipe that's packed with flavor and super easy.

Roasted Cauliflower

Ingredients:

1 head of cauliflower, cut into florets
1/4 cup extra-virgin olive oil
2 tbsp sliced garlic
1 tbsp black mustard seeds
1/2 tbsp freshly grated ginger
Sea salt to taste

Preparation:

Preheat oven to 425 degrees. Whisk olive oil, garlic, mustard seeds, and ginger in a large bowl until well blended. Add cauliflower to bowl and toss with flavored oil until coated. Place cauliflower on a baking sheet or in a large roasting pan in one layer so that each piece can cook evenly. Bake for about 20 minutes, turning once, until lightly browned. Salt to taste and serve hot. Enjoy!

P.S. If you have any cauliflower left, refrigerate it until well chilled and toss it in our special lemon vinaigrette for a tangy cauliflower salad.

Lemon Vinaigrette                                                     

Ingredients:

1/4 cup fresh squeezed lemon juice
1/4 cup champagne vinegar
1 cup extra virgin, first cold pressed olive oil
1 finely minced garlic clove
Sea salt and pepper to taste

Preparation:

Place all ingredients in a jar and shake vigorously until well blended. Simple!