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When & Where Is
Our Space?
Location:730 Riverside Drive [@150th Street]
Suite 9E Time: 8:00 PM - 11:00 PM (Every Friday night,except for our hiatus month in August)
Directions:
Take the #1 Train to 145th Street or the M4, M5, M101 or M100 to 149th Street & BroadwayGOOGLE MAP
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Contact Us
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Black Men's Xchange-NY
730 Riverside Drive
(@150th Street)*
Harlem, New York 10031
Email:
blackmensxchangeny@gmail.com
Phone: 212-283-0219
Official BMX-NY Website:
BMXNY.org
*PLEASE NOTE:
THE DOOR ENTRANCE IS LOCATED ON 150th STREET
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Africentric Affirmation
Community Links
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Greetings Brothers! 
Welcome To The Black Men's Xchange-New York (BMX-NY) Gatekeepers e-Newsletter. This e-newsletter is for the gathering on Friday, September 17th, 2010.
"Bawabu" African SGL Symbol
Brothers, please if you would take the time and tell us about your experience at a BMX-NY meeting. This is a confidential Survey with no names required. We appreciate your time and comments as we continue to try and make your experience at BMX-NY one of true community.
Click Here: Black Men's Xchange-NY Participant Survey
BROTHERS! Although not required, BRINGING A POTLUCK DISH AND/OR BEVERAGE of your choosing would be a generous offering for the repast after the group discussion! Your offering defrays a cost to the organization. Also, end of gathering DONATIONS are also greatly appreciated, too. THANK YOU!
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Friday, September 17th, 2010
The OTHER MAN:
How Does Dating or Sexing Married Men
Affect the Community?
Do we share men with women in the community?
Are married men off limits?
Are men with girlfriends off limits? If so, why?
Under what circumstances might you rendezvous with
a married man?
If you date a married man, what do and don't you
get out of it?
Would it make a difference to you if your man also had
sex with women?
As SGL members of the community, do we bear a
responsibility to respect other people's relationships?
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Friday Forum Recap
DECISION 2010: Do We Vote Our Interests?
(Topic Hi-lites From Friday, September 10th, 2010)
In our first forum of the season, The Black Men's Xchange-NY took up the issue of Decision 2010: Do We Vote Our Interests?
Among questions participants considered included:
When don't you vote?
"When I don't have all the facts...When I'm indecisive...When I [thought] about my issues as a gay man...They [politicians] didn't grab me...the causes they stood for...Obama's youthfulness and optimism, his wife and family moved me...If it's not the Presidential or Mayoral election, I don't vote - those are the most impactful."
"Prior to the stolen election I didn't vote at all...I didn't believe my vote counted. The issues weren't clear...what's at stake... Now I vote for everything. Congress people, Senators...everything's important...Local races have much more direct impact on your quality of life...the garbage getting picked up...where your children go to school..."
"I was very cold on voting for a long time...it didn't matter enough...So many of my issues, being gay and being black...being a child of immigrant parents,,,Hatian particularly wasn't on the ballot...It wasn't until there were people around me with whom I had something in common and who I felt I could talk to until I had this burning desire...When Clinton first ran, that was the first time I voted...Now I vote in every election."
"Kerry was the first time I voted...[When he lost] I was very disenchanted...the next time was for Obama...I realized I complained about how this one's not good, and [about] what's not right...I had to vote to see if it counted...[I decided] I'm responsible for the effort, not the outcome."
"I voted in the last election...I don't really get into politics ...My family and friends pressured me into voting for Obama...I don't get into the hype of it...When you get to that level [the Presidency] you don't have control...It's the lobbyists, etc....you're just a puppet."
"He [Obama] has to walk a crazy tightrope to make things happen that matter to us..."
"When I vote, I'm not thinking of the present moment...I'm thinking of my children's generation...Whether or not he [Obama}really has any power, he's inspiring many, many people...I try not to get a headache or differentiate [between] all the causes...for gay men...African Americans...I'm not so stressed about an immediate result...slow and steady wins the race..."
"My first vote went to Dinkins...I think about our ancestors...they didn't have the right to vote...[We're lacking] self-entitlement...We don't feel we're entitled to anything. What Obama's up against is what we're up against... I've [been here] for eight years [and] seen people with college degrees [forced] to work out of their fields, and challenged at every turn...The myth is that people get to a certain level and become puppets...Deregulation was how they reversed all the gains we'd made..."
"A system is a way of getting something done...or keeping something form getting done...The Clintons went in thinking they were going to change things and ran into the system...The system is fixed...doesn't want to change...The same system that exists now is the one that had us enslaved...I'm hoping that the person I vote for will eventually try to tweak the system and will vote his conscience...They'll kill you before they'll allow you change the system...Dr. King...Ron Brown...White Anglo Saxon Protestants control the system..."
What are our political interests as SGL people?
"Civil rights...The right to marry who I choose...Parental rights...[Freedom from] sexuality-based harassment in the work place..."
"Free health care...[In] education...balance in the history...[moving beyond a purely] European perspective...science...Isaac Newton...math..."
"Health care will mean more access to HIV prevention and care."
"Homelessness...[There's something like] a tent city being built in Marcus Garvey park."
"The right to the pursuit of happiness...[Ending] job discrimination based on same gender lovingness...Housing discrimination based on same gender lovingness...The pursuit of meaning and purpose...things that bring happiness to you..."
"The right to live freely...to be me...without being attacked...or feeling attacked [for being who I am]...Mental health, because we're so battered..."
"An HIV prevention model designed for us...which BMX founder, Cleo Manago has conceived...We share the same plight as heterosexual Black men...High unemployment...Racial profiling...Crimes against SGL men like [Rashawn Brazell]"
"Safety nets for SGL teens...[They are] ostracized in schools...Black males, as they transition to men...Entrepreneurship in our communities...We have to jump through far more hoops to get business loans..."
"Vocational and job training for SGL men...Prison system overhaul [including] education, job and life skills training..."
"Alternatives to incarceration..."
Can you cite three changes Obama has made?
"Child health care...The health care bill...The stimulus package..."
"The world's view of America...The perception of Black Americans...The perception of the Presidency from an old, white, rich...to something relatable...Inspiration..."
"A very profound change in education...Failure paid...When schools didn't graduate students on time and students got low test scores, they got more money...Obama has changed that with Race to the Top...Now success pays...Eligibility for millions of education dollars are [doled out to] successful schools...[He] saved the auto industry...and the banking industry"
"He nominated Sonya Sotomayor to the Supreme Court...a Latina woman of the people..."
"De-escalation of the military...Iraqui troop withdrawal..."
"We are falling for distractions...Every time he does something or attempts to do something [to change the status quo]... Sara Palin will say, or Snookie will do something that takes center stage [in the news]...Citibank just outsourced 300,00 jobs to China...that's not the lead story on the news..."
"[Obama has] helped towards rescinding Don't Ask, Don't Tell..."
Is the gay liberation political agenda/voting bloc representative of our political interests?
"No, because they are white...They don't have to deal with Post Traumatic Slave Syndrome or race-based discrimination... "
Who benefits when we don't vote?
"The system." "The status quo." "Republicans." "White supremacy." "Those who already have the power."
How can we get our representatives to focus on our needs/issues?
"By showing them how they benefit by supporting us...A healthier, safer, achievement oriented community can [better] support them..."
"With any group or segment of the population, really being organized...[Also being] clear and comprehensive...[by] clearly articulating what you need, why and how [the need] can be met..."
"Our leaders are always being assassinated, either physically or their character. How do we protect our leaders?"
"Now there are more opportunities to get people to focus on a message...[If you organize in] a plateau-style, rather than a pyramid style leadership...they can't kill all our leaders."
"Part of the organizing has to first be empowering us because we're [still] invisible... That invisibility allows white supremacy to continue...We are everywhere, everywhere...That's what politicos respect, dollars and a base."
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SGL Black Heroes
Billy Strayhorn (Jazz Musician)(From Billy Strayhorn Songs, Inc. - Edited by Sonjia Stone)
 If you are familiar with the jazz composition, "Take the A Train," then you know something about not only Duke Ellington, but also Billy "Sweet Pea" Strayhorn, its composer. Strayhorn joined Ellington's band in 1939, at the age of twenty-two. Ellington liked what he saw in Billy and took this shy, talented pianist under his wings. Neither one was sure what Strayhorn's function in the band would be, but their musical talents had attracted each other. By the end of the year Strayhorn had become essential to the Duke Ellington Band; arranging, composing, sitting-in at the piano. Billy made a rapid and almost complete assimilation of Ellington's style and technique. It was difficult to discern where one's style ended and the other's began. The results of the Ellington-Strayhorn collaboration brought much joy to the jazz world.
The history, of the family of William Thomas Strayhorn (his mother called him "Bill") goes back over a hundred years in Hillsborough. One set of great grandparents, Mr. and Mrs. George Craig, lived behind the present Farmer's Exchange. A great grand-mother was the cook for Robert E. Lee. Billy, however, was born in Dayton, Ohio in 1915. His mother, Lillian Young Strayhorn, brought her children to Hillsborough often. Billy was attracted to the piano that his grandmother, Elizabeth Craig Strayhorn owned. He played it from the moment he was tall enough to reach the keys. Even in those early years, when he played, his family would gather to listen and sing.
In 1923 Billy entered the first grade in a little wooden school house, since destroyed. Soon after that, however, his mother moved her family to Pittsburgh to join Billy's father, James Nathaniel Strayhorn. Mr. Strayhorn had gotten a job there as a gas-maker and wire-puller. Charlotte Catlin began to give Billy private piano lessons. He played the piano everyday, sometimes becoming so engrossed that he would be late for his job. He also played in the high school band.
His father enrolled him in the Pittsburgh Musical institution where he studied classical music. He had more classical training than most jazz musicians of his time.
 Strayhorn lived a tremendously productive life. He influencedBilly Strayhorn's BW Image many people that he met, and yet remained very modest and unassuming all the while. For a time he coached Lena Horne in classical music to broaden her knowledge and improve her style of singing. He toured the world with Ellington's band and for a brief time lived in Paris. Strayhorn's own music is internationally known and honored. It has been translated in French and Swedish.
Some of Strayhorn's compositions are: "Chelsea Bridge," "Day Dream," "Johnny Come Lately," "Rain-check," and "Clementine." The pieces most frequently played are Ellington's theme song, "Take the A Train" and Ellington's signatory, "Lotus Blossom". Some of the suites on which he collaborated with. Ellington are: "Deep South Suite," 1947; the "Shakespearean Suite" or "Such Sweet Thunder," 1957; an arrangement of the "Nutcracker Suite," 1960; and the "Peer Gynt Suite," 1962. He and Ellington composed the "Queen's Suite" and gave the only pressing to Queen Elizabeth of England. Two of their suites, "Jump for Joy," 1950 and "My People," 1963 had as their themes the struggles and triumphs of blacks in the United States. Both included a narrative and choreography. The latter Strayhorn conducted at the Negro Exposition in Chicago in 1963. Another suite similar to these two was "A Drum Is a Woman." The "Far East Suite" was written after the band's tour of the East which was sponsored by the State Department.
In 1946, Strayhorn received the Esquire Silver Award for outstanding arranger. In 1965, the Duke Ellington Jazz Society asked him to present a concert at New York's New School of Social Research. It consisted entirely of his own work performed by him and his quintet. Two years later Billy Strayhorn died of cancer. Duke Ellington's response to his death was to record what the critics cite as one of his greatest works, a collection titled "And His Mother Called Him Bill," consisting entirely of Billy's compositions. Later, a scholarship fund was established for him by Ellington and the Julliard School of Music.
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BMX- NY's Mission Statement
 The Black Men's Xchange-New York (BMX-NY) was founded in Harlem in 2002 as an instrument of healing and empowerment for same gender loving (SGL) and bisexual African descended men. We create an environment that advances cultural affirmation, promotes critical thinking, and embraces diversity. Affirming ourselves as African descended people is strengthening. The focus on critical thinking involves identifying and unlearning ingrained anti-black and anti-homosexual conditioning. We recognize and celebrate same gender loving men as diverse in sexuality, class, culture and philosophy.
BMX-NY is built on a philosophy that embraces same gender loving experience as an intrinsic facet of everyday Black life. Integral to BMXNY's approach is the understanding that, in order to decrease internal and external homo-reactionary thinking and demystify differences around diverse ways of living, loving and being, same gender loving, bisexual and transgendered Black people must engage in supportive dialogue with each other and the community.
The Black Men's Xchange-New York And Our Allies At The
Millions More Movement (MMM) In Washington, DC
(October 15th, 2005)
We believe that self-determination is crucial in achieving success toward healing and empowerment. We understand that our cultural and experiential uniqueness requires a uniquely focused and precise approach. Affirming strategies born out of our own experience is powerful; hence, the adoption of the terms, Black, African American and Same Gender Loving.
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About BMX- NY...
THE BLACK MEN'S XCHANGE - NEW YORK
is a gathering for same gender loving (SGL) and bisexual Black men to powerfully and respectfully address issues that impact their lives, and to connect with one another in a positive, affirming, nurturing and transformational environment. Ages 18 and up.
The Term Same Gender Loving
The term Same Gender Loving (SGL) emerged in the early '90s to offer Black women who love women and Black men who love men (and other people of color) a way of identifying that resonated with the uniqueness of Black life and culture. Before this many African descended people, knowing little of our history regarding homosexuality and bi-sexuality, took on European symbols and identifications as a means of embracing our sexualities, including: Greek lambdas, German pink triangles, and the white-gay-originated rainbow flag, in addition to the terms gay, and lesbian.
The term gay, coined as an identification by White male homosexuals in the '50s, was cultivated in an exclusive White male environment. By the '60s, the growing Gay Liberation movement developed in a climate largely excluding Blacks and women. In response to this discrimination, White women coined the identification lesbian, a word derived from the Greek island, Lesbos. The Lesbian movement, in turn, helped define a majority White movement, called feminism. In response to the racism experienced by women of color from White feminists, celebrated author, Alice Walker introduced the term womanist.
The term womanist identified women of color concerned with both the sexual and racial oppression of women. In this spirit of self-naming and ethnic-sexual pride, the term same gender loving(SGL) was introduced to enhance the lives and amplify the voices of homosexual and bi-sexual people of color, to provide a powerful identification not marginalized by racism in the gay community or by "homophobic" attitudes in society at large.
As gay culture grew and established enclaves in San Francisco, Chelsea, Provincetown, Key West and other territories, Blacks especially, were carded and rejected from many establishments. Even today Blacks, Latinos and Asians often appear in gay publications and other media solely as potential sexual objects. Ironically, gay rights activism was modeled on the Civil Rights and Black Power Movements initiated by African Americans.
In the years since the advent of the Gay Rights movement many Black SGLs have found scant space for the voices, experiences and empowerment of Black people. Additionally, the rigid influence of the Black church's traditionally anti-homosexual stance has contributed to attitudes that repress and stigmatize Black SGLs. The lack of acknowledgment and support in the Black community has shunted multitudes of same gender loving African descended people to the White community to endure racism, isolation from their own communities, and cultural insensitivity.
The high visibility of the white gay community along with the absence of illumination on same gender loving experience contributes to the tendency in Black communities to overlook and ridicule same gender loving relationships as alien or aberrant. The SGL movement has inspired national dialogue on diverse ways of loving in the Black community. The term same gender loving explicitly acknowledges loving within same-sex relationships, while encouraging self-love.
The designation, same gender loving has served as a wake up call for Blacks to acknowledge diverse ways of loving and being, and has provided an opportunity for Blacks and other people of color to claim, nurture and honor their significance within their families and communities.
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