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FEEL herd Canada Winter 2011 2011 has sure been an eventful year with many challenges and opportunities. If you are like me, you are ready to see what 2012 is all about! I see this as a time of expanded conscious awareness for all of us. Certainly, my work with the horses all over the world supports this. Recently I was asked, "What do you see and feel is the common denominator with horses and people in your travels?" As always, my answer was "Horses are helping us to wake up." (See my article "How Horses Help Us to Know Ourselves"


My colleagues and I have been working on a concept which we call Relationship in Motion or RIM. Over the years in my work in Equine Facilitated Learning, as well as work with families and corporations, I have noticed that much of a relationship is lost or put aside when a goal, deadline, or time constraint is present. In EFL I notice that people may love connecting with the horses on the ground through grooming, reflective round pen work (one in which there is no goal but to be in relationship), or just standing and being with the herd in the field.


However, because we are human, and many times goal oriented and constrained by time limits, I see people dropping the feeling of connection to get "the job done." RIM is a process we are developing that assists the person to be in relationship- or limbic connection- with the horse and get motion or movement with collaboration. This may seem simple but those of us working with horses, children, spouses or employees know this is not always the case. What parent hasn't temporarily "lost it" when asking their child for the 100th time to clean up their room? When you are going to get your horse for an activity with a client, do you remember to tell them what you would like?


FEEL larger herd Canada Winter 2011 We know that maintaining a limbic connection and asking for movement involves the heart, intention from the brain, and pressure (or direction) from the belly or power center of the body. When one is predominant (or lost) the horse will often stand stock still or be overcome with confusion. Active round pen work, as opposed to the traditional lunging of the horse, can offer the opportunity to stay in connection and get movement and collaboration. What I have seen more often, however, is that people get into the goal of the activity and the horse - who has learned to "obey" the signals- performs the activities mindlessly but is often disconnected. This disconnect, of course, will often translate into peoples' lives outside the round pen. I have also seen many times the person who wants to stay in their heart be unable to get any kind of forward movement.


As a facilitator of EFL I want the client and the horse to have the best possible experience - an experience which will help the client's body to remember what it feels like in connection and with movement. I recall a man who experienced post traumatic stress disorder and had limited his life to the degree that even benign opportunities for change frightened him and kept him isolated and alone. We had introduced the concept of emotions as information, and especially the differentiation of fear versus vulnerability. It was his turn to get the horse (with some assistance from the equine professional) and see if he could have an experience of movement in the round pen.   At the beginning of the workshop he had told part of his story and informed us that he was terrified of horses. By the time we got to this activity he had been with the horse in a safe place and was open to the challenge of taking the horse for a walk. The facilitator let this man take the time to connect with the horse, by putting on her halter and beginning the walk to the round pen. By the time the man and horse entered the round pen so much had happened that all he wanted to do was to just "be with the horse".Was this a success? You bet it was.


When he came out of the experience and shared with the group he said, "Kathleen when you first introduced the difference between fear (outright physical or emotional threat) and vulnerability (inside change or opportunity), I was not sure I would be able to tell the difference. I had spent so many years reacting to the feeling of fear that I had not allowed myself any opportunities for change." When asked for one word at the end of the workshop to sum up his experience with the horse, his word was "Courage." The smile on his face when he faced the challenge of connection and movement with the horse is one that will remain with me for a long time.


Another example of Relationship in Motion (RIM) involved a horse trainer and a reluctant horse. The woman went to get the horse and, after checking in with her body, got the message to go slowly. Later that message would have a lot of significance for her in her personal life. As we watched the exchange between woman and horse we noticed how slowly and deliberately she took each step. Now this woman is a horse trainer so she certainly knows how to get a horse to move. However, she took the time to listen to herself - and what the horse needed - to get to the round pen. I have to admit I had to let go of my idea of what might be happening to support what was happening between them. It took her 40 minutes step by step.


When she got to the round pen I asked her what she wanted to do. Her response was priceless, "I told him the goal was to walk to the round pen and that I would take the time he needed to do this. Once that happened I learned what I needed from the experience." This horse had a problem with people pushing him beyond his limits. The trainer could feel in her body that the opportunity for him to create a new memory of pressure and release was more important than any goal. As a goal oriented person, this lesson translated to her life and allowed her to feel what it would be like to have forward movement and to maintain connection with herself and loved ones.


We have had many opportunities to see and observe this connection and movement, or Relationship in Motion, with people and horses. It is the "dance of relationship" with collaboration with full intention and respect, that the body remembers when working with horses or people the next time a challenge and opportunity is presented.


I have mentioned just two examples of the work with horses and people from this year. I have traveled over the world this year and seen many more. For this opportunity, I would like to thank the horses and my colleagues; Wendy and Andre at Horse Spirit Connections in Canada (; Sun Tui and her herd in England (; Eva Balzer and her herd in Germany (; Drea Bowen in Washington state at the Equine Empowerment Center, (; Lisa Murrell in New York (; Susan Castaneda in New Mexico (; and Eve Lee and her horses at Loghaven in Illinois (


Kathleen and Gem Many Blessings,  






Kathleen Barr
y Ingram, MA

EFL Training, November 2011
FEEL group shot - Canada 2011

Kathleen, Wendy, Andre, Janis, and the FEEL training group in Toronto, Canada ( The two beautiful pictures of the horses in the snow were taken in Canada with the FEEL herd. Thank you Andre and Wendy!


In 2012, Kathleen will be teaching again in Canada at Horse Spirit Connections (, as well as the training program at IFEAL in East Sussex, UK with Sun Tui and her herd (,  and with Lisa Murrell in New York and New Mexico at Equine Alchemy (  

The Sacred Pause: Living in Uncertain Times  


February 14-19, 2012  

Tubac, AZ 


A mid-winter retreat in sunny southern Arizona at Kenyon Ranch


Connect with a group of women gathering to seek serenity in the uncertainty of these times and discover new ways to wait patiently in this Sacred Pause. Together we'll explore the art of surrendering to what "is" by becoming "naked" with nothing to hide, "vulnerable" with nothing to defend, "empty" with nothing to lose, "in the unknown" with nothing to fear, and open to what is meant to happen.


Facilitators are three Elders, Mary Louise Gould, Holotropic Breathwork Practitioner, Kathleen Ingram, Counselor/Coach, and Eve B. Lee, Shamanic Practitioner, who will guide the gathering in activities including meditation, Holotropic Breathwork, shamanic journeying, reflective round pen work with horses, inspired writing, walking the labyrinth and working with dreams.


To prepare for the retreat and to begin to answer the question: "Where do we go from here?," participants will read  When the Heart Waits by Sue Monk Kidd.


Cost:  $1850 per person including meals and lodging

Nonrefundable Deposit:  $400 by January 16, 2012  (The program requires a minimum of 7 participants)

Save 10% for payment in full ($1665) by January 2, 2012

Save an additional $100 apiece for you and each friend you bring!


For more information contact Mary-Louise Gould at: or 520-975-6126, or  


Horse work will be done at Equine Voices Rescue and Sanctuary: 

The Change EFL Can Bring to the Horse Co-facilitator

How the Horse's Life is Enhanced and Benefited  

by Beth Goodwin 


Beth has just completed her individual Mentorship program with Kathleen and wrote this story to talk about how she has seen the horses benefit from this work.


Beth Goodwin Over the past 12 months as I have begun my journey as an EFL Facilitator I have been amazed at the positive changes I have seen in my own mare and the horses who have co facilitated sessions for my clients who choose to work with their own horses.


One of the first sessions I facilitated was for a woman with several horses. She asked that I work with her and one of her geldings. However, when I turned up to her property it was very evident that another gelding wanted to work with her. While this may be no surprise to many of us in this field, it came as a complete surprise to his owner. She reported that she felt this horse didn't like her - she had had him since he was a foal, and he always walked away from her in the paddock, especially when she had a halter and a lead rope in her hand. She retired him from his dressage career early as she felt he didn't like her or the work she was asking him to do.  


His owner reported, "What I found very surprising was that the horse I least expected to want to participate made it quite clear he wanted to be very much part of this. He was the horse who wanted to help me the most and this stunned me." He was right there beside his owner wanting a piece of the action. After the session the owner reported how much love she felt had come to her from the horse during her session. What is really amazing to me is this "love story" has continued ever since, even 12 months down the track his owner still reports how he is there at the gate to meet her, and is happy to be caught.


Another interesting case was with a warm blood mare and her owner. Her owner felt she had reached a bit of a plateau with her mare in their dressage work. There were also other things going on between them. When I made contact with the client a few days after the EFL session, she reported a real change in her mare and the previous relationship. She said she didn't feel like she had to baby the mare anymore (she bred her) and that she had had some "exceptional "rides on this mare. She was really pleased with the change and it was way beyond what she had expected.  Read more... 


Article contributed by Beth Godwin 

The Sacred Pause Retreat: Feb 14-19, 2012
The Change EFL Can Bring to the Horse Co-facilitator
Where is Kathleen?
The Sacred Place of Possibility website now has a calendar function!   Find out where Kathleen will be teaching - and workshop details- with one click: "Where is Kathleen?"
Kathleen Barry Ingram, MA
Kathleen in Jersey
and her colleagues
can help you look at possibilities and turn them into probabilities that will enrich and enhance your
professional and
personal life.

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