Our topic this month is Mentoring at Work.  The third phase of the mentoring relationship, Enabling, the longest of the four mentoring phases, is the time when the "roll-up-your-sleeves" mentoring work is accomplished. It is an exciting time. The relationship is growing.  Trust is increasing. Momentum is building.  Learning is taking place. It is during this critical phase that both mentoring partners experience delights as well as challenges. To keep the learning fresh and stay on track while continuing to strengthen the relationship requires mutual accountability.

An Example

The new job was proving to be quite a challenge for Sabrina.  Her staff was not as welcoming and friendly to her as she had hoped.  During her sixth week on the job a coworker pulled her aside told her that her east-coast "in-your-face" style had put off a number of staff.  He reported that at least six of them complained that she was micromanaging, intrusive and that some people were even working around her and going to her manager for assignments. Hearing this, Sabrina gulped hard. In her gut she knew she was struggling to get her team on board, and now her worst fears were confirmed.

She was glad that her meeting with her mentor, Mike, was scheduled for the next day.  When they met, Sabrina updated him on the current issues she was handling.  Although she had decided to tell Mike about the negative feedback, when she sat down with him, she was too embarrassed and disappointed to have to admit she wasn't faring as well as she should with her staff.  Instead, she raised some of her issues in general terms, as a theoretical discussion, rather than as a personal problem. Mike asked a lot of questions that made her stop and think about the culture of their organization and how things were done.

The more they talked, the more apparent it became to Sabrina that she needed to focus on developing relationships and trying to make her numbers. When she described an interaction with one of her direct reports as an example of a strategy, Mike cautioned her that it sounded precariously like micromanaging.  Sabrina began to see how she was contributing to creating her problems and that she had to work on building a stronger and more trusting team. Mike challenged her to focus on the goal of team building and to keep that top of mind in her interaction. He asked her to keep a journal and at the end of each day to record what it is she had done to (a) build individual relationships, (b) delegate to her team, and (c) better understand the organization's culture.

Over the next several weeks Sabrina saw the wisdom of Mike's advice.  She consciously invested time in building relationships one at a time, delegating responsibilities to her staff, and trusting them to do their assignments - and it was paying off. In her journal she noted, "Suddenly the air seems lighter around the office and I feel more relaxed. I am beginning to realize how different this place is from my old workplace. People really want to engage and support each other."