If you were to ask someone how much they
got paid you could expect the sort of response that Tony Blair would garner now
when strolling in downtown Bagdad.
Money is an emotive subject. We hold all sorts of weird emotions around
the green stuff. Some of us love it,
some scared, many scoff at its power and influence while others seem to be able
to coax it down from the trees and straight into their pockets.
Guilt, shame, scorn, fear, security, panic
- just some of the feelings that we can hold around money.
Undoubtedly money is an essential part of
our existence and a healthy relationship with it can mean the difference
between having a good and secure life or one fraught with fear and regret.
There is a fine line between making a good
living and enjoying a good life. If we demonstrate respect for money it will
show up in other areas of our lives making us feel profoundly better in a
variety of ways.
But many of us play Russian roulette with
our finances and wellbeing. A sense of entitlement, whether earned or not,
creates a no-limits compulsion to shop such is our need for constant
acquisition.
If your happiness depends on spending you
will find it a hollow bliss. It doesn't
bring real authentic happiness just a brief high. Go look in your wardrobe if
you don't believe me. Is it a closet of paradisical ecstacy? Mine neither.
Do you recognize yourself in any of these?
-
The Ostrich - you bury your
head in the sand when bills pop through the door, your credit card is at max
and your bank is sending you letters. Not listening..lalalalalaahhh
-
The "Oh Blow It" - this is the person
who recklessly shops on a whim - holidays, lipsticks, new boots, nights out
because just like Scarlett O'Hara - "tomorrow
is another day" and you can't
think (or don't want to) beyond that.
-
The "Because I'm Worth It" - secretly
feels a bit hard done by in life, plays the victim and fills this pain with
purchases to "make myself feel better". Ironically it has the opposite effect
when you get home, see the results of your splurge and you're back to square
one. Only now you feel worse.
-
The "I want what they're having" -
status anxiety is one of the most common causes of modern day unhappiness. We want what others have got because if we
don't we feel inferior, marginalized, a failure. So we purchase things - flat screen TVs,
I-Pads, designer sunglasses etc to make us "look good". Funny though that quite often, like eating
rice cakes, you don't feel satisfied or even feel that good. Besides, oh no,
look what that person over there has got.... and so it goes.
-
The "I never have quite enough" - you
work really hard yet you seem to have a leak somewhere in your finances. You hardly have enough for the bare
essentials let alone luxuries. There are
probably many blind spots in your spending - the lunches, lattes, magazines,
glasses of wine with friends that you don't account for. I had a client who didn't realise he was
spending £57 a week on cappuccino's!
-
The Oliver! Syndrome - you routinely
under-sell yourself and your services to your clients or ask the minimum when
applying for a new job. You under-value
yourself to such a degree you'd give it away if you could. Please
sir, can I have some more?
-
The Dreamer - broke, in-debt,
fed-up and nothing much coming in, always money going out. Head in the clouds, feet on the sofa. But hey there's the Lottery to win and one day
you're convinced your prince/Simon Cowell/compensation claim will come. Zzzzzzzzz...
Sadly, I could go on. Did you spot yourself? Does it come as any great surprise that all
of the above conditions has its roots in low self-esteem? Isn't it time your money worked for you?
Could you be sabotaging your own wellbeing, security and sense of self with
your spending or relationship with cash?
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Touched
By the Hand of Wad - some money magnetizing exercises
Here are some Money Magnet tips to instantly
refresh your thinking around your money and how you are taking care of it.
-
When you can clear your credit
card bills - they weigh you down and suck your energy then use only in absolute
emergency
-
Have one day a week where you
spend nothing at all
-
Bring packed lunches, bottled
water and snacks in from home. You do
the maths on what you'll save.
-
Put some money aside each
month. If you can't then get the bank or
building society to filter some off into a savings account
-
If you are an emotional see-it/want-it
shopper - 1. Avoid the shops. 2. Decide to stop, walk away and if you still
desire that item 24 hours later then budget for it.
-
Earn your treats by saving and
putting money away for them
-
Get out of victim/deprivation
thinking - it's harmful to your self-esteem and you don't need half the things
you want.
-
Look at your bank statements,
learn to understand how much you
have and what it is going on.
-
Simplify your life. Enjoy simpler pleasures then earn those
nights out or treats
-
Ask yourself - am I using money
as a weapon against myself or as a tool? How do you know?
-
Be responsible for today. Tomorrow will come and you will need that
money more as you age.
-
Make a list of 7 things you
want. Review the list and decide how
much you really want those
things. Now develop a timeline and
budget to acquire ONE of those
things.
-
Have a "fun" fund. From this
you buy your treats the rest goes on essentials and saving to create a safety
net.
-
Learn your priorities in
life. Be responsible for your debts and
clear them. The lipsticks and DVDs can
wait.
The downside of
being careless and reckless with money is fear, stress, insecurity, low-self
esteem, distrust of self, distrust from others, failed relationships, danger.
The upside of
making your money work is peace of mind, self respect, greater sense of being
in control, more fun, less worry/stress, no dread, security, the sublime state
of infinite smugness (always worth aiming for).
If you would like
to book a 30 minute free telephone coaching consultation with me please email
me on caroleann@realcoachingco.com
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Other news
How to get PR - Free Webinar
Join me tonight (Tues 28th September) at 8pm for a free
webinar with marketing guru of Cash Rich Time Rich,
Louise Heasman, where I will be sharing how to get PR for your business or yourself. See your name in lights and register here
https://www1.gotomeeting.com/register/848094857
Business Coaching Intensive Day
If you are in
business and you would like to teleport it into a stratospheric new level of
success please join me with my sister company Real Coaching Solutions, on our
Business Coaching Intensive Day. We
guarantee you will see the unlimited and untapped potential in your business
that will breathe new life and prospects in all that you do.
Find out more www.realcoachingsolutions.co.uk/intensive
Congratulations to my talented client Lou Hamilton who has
just flown to California to pick up an award at the Moondance festival for her
moving and highly inspirational film Being Martin
Well done Lou, you took the baby steps to create giant
leaps and have inspired us all.
Thanks to Louisa Walsh for her superb photos. See more
at www.artbylaw.co.uk
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Quote of the Month
"I have enough money to last me the rest
of my life unless I buy something"
- Jackie Mason, comedian
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The Wit and Wisdom Newsletter
