Human Touch*

Human Touch definitely ranks as one of Bruce Springsteen's best songs.  Actually, the entire Human Touch album touched me.  But, besides Bruce's longing for some skin, touching has lots of loaded implications.  In Asia, it'd be insulting to touch an older person on the head, back or shoulders, even to comfort them.  If you're in the Middle East, you'd be rude to not hold your friends hand (same gender unless you want to be arrested) while walking down the street.  Mediterranean cultures are also very touchy. A hug and cheek kiss among people of the same gender are more common than handshakes.

We're all born with a great need for touch. To thrive, newborns must be fed touch as much as food. Studies tell us that infants deprived of skin contact lose weight, become ill and even die. We know that premature babies given periods of touch therapy gain weight faster, cry less, and show more signs of relaxed pulse, respiration rate and muscle tension.     

So, what happened as we grew up.  As adults we receive and give less and less touch.  Maybe we fear it may appear as a sexual or come-on gesture.  Like 7 year old boys and girls, some adult germaphobes don't want to get "cooties".  Maybe it seems too touchy-feely and you've adopted the vice-grip handshake instead.  If you're a guy in our homophobic society (well, not here on the coasts) you'd better watch how you're giving that hug to your same gender friend, lest you be thought of as gay, not that there's anything wrong with that.   

Many of us grew up in families that did not touch each other and it may feel damn uncomfortable to touch or be touched.  Conversely, in certain circles it would be considered cold to not hug with chests (hearts) touching and remain there for many several seconds.  This I find a bit uncomfortable, but once you're been brought in on a chest-to-chest, it's tricky to find the right amount of time before you "unlock".  Have you received (or given) a hug that involved a bend at the waist, body turned away from the other person and half an arm around them?  Everyone's got their comfort levels.  Want to freak someone out?  When they come in for the half hug, give them the full body, heart-to-heart, two hands on the back treatment.  Throw in a kiss on both cheeks while you're at it. 

One of my favorite online magazine, The Greater Good (http://greatergood.berkeley.edu/), has reported on some interesting research on the conveyance of emotion through touch.  Blindfolded subjects could identify love, gratitude, and sympathy through the touch of a partner.  Not only could they identify these emotions, they could distinguish between them.   Identification of emotion through touching beat studies of facial and vocal communication. By varying the intensity, speed, location, and duration of their touches, it seems, the participants were able to convey the subtle differences between these positive emotions.  

Ana Dominique Villa-Lobos, Berkeley's Sociology Department, found that in "contrast to most of the world, studies show white, middle class American babies typically receive less touch, are raised in a child-centered world segregated from adult activity, and cry significantly more than other babies."  She concluded that our early independence training is backfiring and that children who are touched less in infancy have greater dependency needs later in life. The babies will cry more and verbally more demanding once they can speak and approach the parent more as they become mobile. According to Villa-Lobos, the attempt to bypass our infants' dependency stage actually prolongs it.  

In this season of giving sandwiched between Thanksgiving and Christmasgiving, consider offering what cannot be bought--just a little of that human touch.  It can be as simple as a brush on the shoulder or a full-on bear hug.  It can be a gesture of friendship or comfort for a stranger or a lover.  Do it more often.  You don't need a reason.   

*reposted from this time last year with editing 

I love the response of students to their first or second or hundredth restorative yoga experience.  It's the moment when their nervous system shifts from "yikes!" to "ahhhhhh."  They leave with relaxed shoulders and brightened attitude.  

It's easy to forget that the body knows exactly what to do.  The relaxation response is a built in function of our amazing central nervous system.  We just have to let relaxation happen.  I know, it seems impossible sometimes. Thus, the popularity of restorative yoga where we learn to put the body in positions and let it do it's thing.     

In these workshops you will be allowed to relax and let go while your body is supported with bolsters and blankets and lots more.  We will do a bit of movement, chat about stress and the relaxation response and then spend 90 minutes in positions that we will hold for 15 to 20 minutes.  This practice is for everyone.   Go ahead and put the dates on your calendar now so you won't forget.  And, while you're at it, invite a friend.

Sunday,December 18, 2011**

3:30 - 5:45 p.m. 

BodyWorks in Petaluma  

**The third Sunday of each month