Six Sure Ways to Be Unhappy

Feeling a bit giddy these days?  Do you have a hankerin' for hugging. Here are some ways to counter those good vibes.....

#1.  Dig your Heels In -  Don't let anyone get the best of you, dang it.  You're right and everyone should know it.  The louder you speak, the more people will hear you.  Remember, if you give an inch, someone's going to take 5 miles. 

#2.  Never Leave Yourself Vulnerable - If people know you're weak, they'll take advantage of you.  Avoid connecting with people, because eventually you'll be disappointed and they'll probably want something from you-usually money.

#3.  You are Special -  You are not like other people-especially those that don't look for act like you.  You are stronger, more educated, have more money, bigger cars, and more porn, drugs and guns.   Yeehaw!

#4.  Be In Control -  Organize your life so that you can control as much as possible.  And while you're at it, control others also.  They'll be grateful that you've shown them how things get done.   If things go wrong, see #5.

#5.  It's Never Your Fault -  Why should it be?  If you exercised the proper control over yourself and others and things went poorly, it's surely the other's guys problem, not yours.   Remember, you're special (See #3).  The blame can always go to your boss, the ex-husband, your banker, those liberal homosexuals, loose borders, tight skirts and high-gas prices.    

And, #6 - Don't forget that the one that dies with the most toys wins.  So, make, exploit or steal lots of money, buy lots of plastic crap from China, and a bigger and badder TV (now called an "entertainment center") and just say "charge it!".  New iPad.  Escalade. More shoes.  And, find a small lot on a cute street and put a big 3-story house on it.  The neighbors will think you're rich. See #2 and #3.   

Are you feeling a bit lonely, frightened, stressed, or paranoid?  Are you becoming more comfortable staying home on the couch watching FOX news and munching on Xtreme Blastin' Buffalo Wing Pringles and Coke?  If so, you've been practicing our List of Six. 

**Stay tuned for next week's article when we'll happily explore how to undo all this nonsense.  I hope you can you wait.    

[Want to read some of my earlier posting.  You can find them here.  Enjoy.] 

Really? Free?  Yes, Elizabeth Sailer, who expertly runs the Petaluma Community Acupuncture Clinic is offering Moms free acupuncture for Mom's Day week.  This is a great opportunity to meet Elizabeth, get healed and grab a baguette at Della Fattoria.  For details call 707-228-8102 or email etsailer@sbcglobal.net.   

If you have a class card with me, Westside Yoga Studio is welcoming you to use it when I'm teaching.  That's right.  Come and take my class at Westside Yoga Studio and use your class card.  You can see when I'm there by checking heck my website for my schedule or Westside's online schedule at www.westsideyogastudio.net.

What?  You don't have a class card with me yet?  You can get 10 classes for $100 or 5 classes for $55.  The best deal in town, I'm told.  These passes can be used at my classes in Graton, Ganesha Yoga and now Westside Yoga.  

Thank you, Eric and Colin--you guys rock and so does your awesome studio and your groovy staff (Hi, Ginny, Indira and Laura).  

Now the small print:   My class passes are good only when I'm teaching at Westside. If it's your first time at Westside, you'll need to fill out a new student form (of course).  On the sign-in sheet just put "Cheryl's Pass" somewhere obvious.  If you already have a plan at Westside, it will trump mine.  

I will be teaching an all levels class to the wonderful residents at Two Acre Wood in Sebatopol on Wednesdays from 7:30 - 8:30 p.m..  Two Acre Wood is a co-housing community at 680 Robinson Rd.  They have kindly offered to offered my students to join us for class.  So, please come and join us.  You can use your class card, of course! 

As many of your know, I am a big fan of Ann Austin's.  She inspires me as a practitioner and as a teacher.  Ann is holding 1 MORE workshops at Westside Yoga.  They'll be super fun and challenging (hard).   Ann will offer the stepping stones to many poses from the Ashtanga series.  Before you know it, you're in Tittibhasana (see photo of Ann).   

Last Class:  Saturday, May 28 - Finishing Series & Inversions

For more info, go to Westside Yoga's website at www.westsideyogastudio.net.  

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Could it be so easy?  Can beautiful, fresh cut, organic*, locally grown (with love) flowers make you happier?  Sue, better known as Missy Green Jeans, and I think so.  She picks the best blossoms from her garden for you.  She's doing weddings and special events or picking flowers for folks like me.  Find out more about Sue and her garden right here:  http://www.missygreenjeans.com/.  

By the way - the photo at the right is the bunch I just got from her.  With some yard clippings, I was able to put together 3 or 4 arrangments in my home. 

*Sue tells me that 80% of the store bought flowers are grown with pesticides (Costco flowers).  

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