Loosen the Grip

Remember how tightly you held onto the roller coaster's cold, germ-laden, metal bar--the only thing keeping you from being flung into outer space.  Remember squeezing the bejesus out of your Mom's (or Dad's) hand as they inched you down the sand toward the loud, frothy, ice cold ocean water?  We were holding on for dear life.  Ah, and not too many years later it all changed.  You were riding the Formula Rossa(1) screaming WooHoo with both hands in the air--be damned metal bar!  Cold, foggy Santa Cruz weather couldn't keep you out of the water as you ran in screaming and laughing.  How things changed when the vice grip on safety softened a bit or a lot.

So, what are you gripping on to now?  Yes, it's the job, the house, the spouse, the kids.  You hold on tight.  They say much of our stress is imagined, but having to pay the mortgage without a job is not imagined--it's real.   So, if you have a job, you squeeze hard.  The New York Times heading on January 14 read, "Older Workers Are Keeping a Tighter Grip on Jobs".  All I can say is, "no s@$%".(2)  The stress of watching your kid eek out a C-minus just to graduate, as you see a glimpse of your $75K in tuition, books, and beer go down the drain, is real.  How tightly are you holding on to expectations?

Where is the middle path with a grip?  The classic over-gripping is with your loved one.  Too tight of grip, well, you know where that leads.  Too loose, yep, you've got it.  What about your golf swing--too tight of grip and ball goes nowhere, too loose of grip and your club goes with it.  Same with teens.  Even deciding how tightly to grip on to life is a big question.   Even at the time of death, there are some people who refuse to let go. 

Can you soften your grip?  What would it feel like to let go a bit?  Just as you splashed and laughed in the freezing water, maybe relaxing your grip might lead to some fun, excitement and "yeehaw"-filled times?   Loosing your job might lead to another with better hours, more pay, and vending machines with Cheetos.  Or, you go to cosmetology school do what you've always wanted.  Whatever you're holding on to too tightly, try loosening your grip on that metal bar, throw up your hands and enjoy the ride.  

(1)    149 mph, hydraulic launch coaster in Abu Dhabi.  Goes from 0-62 in 2 seconds.

(2)    Actually, we are better off today.  Thirty years ago, one in seven jobs in the United States was held by a person who was 55 or older. Today the proportion is one in five.