Just Say "I Don't Know"*

We know just about everything, don't we.  In a pinch we can eek out a comment about most things from Brown v. Board of Education to the France's proposed burqa ban.  Even when we don't know something, we feel obliged to sound smart and, uh, say something reasonably close to what we think we maybe have read or kind of heard or saw on television, maybe, I think. But, we aren't all Michael Krasnys(1).

 I've got an idea.  Not too radical, but new for some.  It's rather humbling.  You may not have put these three word together before.  Are you ready?  Here we go. I-don't- know. Try it.  How'd that feel?  Even Norah Jones can say it.

"So, what are you going to do with your major in French literature?"   "What do you think about well-meaning charities adopting children in Haiti?"  "What are you going to do after you retire?"  "Are you going to have more children?"  "When are you going to buy a home?"  I don't know. It takes being OK with being unsure.  But, it's OK.  These unanswerable questions are asked ALL the time. Try it again: I don't know.

OK, I'm going to make it a bit harder, just for fun.  After you say I don't know, say nothing more. That's it. Avoid feeling like you have to justify or explain why you don't know something. You just don't know. Period.  It's weird, huh.  Finding your answer unsatisfactory (and, I might say, a conversation killer), your buddy will most likely ask a follow-up questions to make you commit to an answer.  Here you go again--"Hum, you know, I just don't know".  Our natural tendency is to try to please our listener with some intelligent response. Try to get comfy with being unsure and saying so. I had a conversation with my yogi friend, Ruth, and between the two of us, we must have said IDK ten times.  It can make for an odd, but honest, conversation.  

I don't know is not to be confused with "I don't give a hoot", "What kind of stupid question is that" or "How would I know."   So, tone can make a difference.  I don't know can also be tricky for some questions like "So, Paul, how's the project going?" and "Where were you last night?" and downright dangerous with "Do you love me"

(2).    

Say it now, just to practice.  I don't know.  I don't know.  I don't know.  I don't know.  

(1)    I think Mr. Krasny, after President Obama, is the smartest man in the world.  He not only knows about every topic imaginable and can recall factoids on demand.
(2)    Valentine's Day warning.

* recycled from last February.