Sloth & Torpor
(Five Hindrances, Pt 1)

Law Firm?  Nintendo's new online game?  The latest goth couple?  Your teenage son's new band?  No, Sloth & Torpor are one of the Five Hindrances, signing in at Number Three.  The 5-Hs usually refer to roadblocks in our meditation practice, but they can be used as a way to help us understand blockages, resistance and distractions in our daily lives.  Along with S&T, the remaining 4 hindrances are desire of the senses, anger (ill will), restlessness or worry (inability to calm the mind) and doubt (lack of conviction or trust).  I will never forget my first encounter with sloth by watching the early-in-his-career, Brad Pitt, and the always entertaining, Morgan Freeman, in Seven.  

Sloth and torpor are forces in the mind that drain vitality and limit effort and can literally be a physical absence of vitality.  It can manifest into discouragement, frustration, boredom, indifference, giving up, hopelessness, and resistance.  Jeez, who hasn't felt some or all of these emotions.  Sloth usually refers to the body as a physical lack of energy.  It may may feel heavy, lethargic, weary, or weak.  It may be difficult to keep the body erect when meditating.  In contrast, torpor refers to the mind as a mental lack of energy. The mind may be dull, cloudy, or weary. It easily drifts in thought. Being caught in sloth or torpor can resemble slogging through deep mud. When this hindrance is strong, you may not notice you've fallen into the land of Sloth & Torpor.  Physical tiredness may look like sloth and torpor, but it's different. You may merely be tired.   

Here's the interesting part.  It's not that the energy is not available.  It's right there.  We are not accessing it.  Here are a couple of examples.  Your break-up has left you depressed and drained.  You spend days (weeks?) sleeping, eating Top Ramen and Dominoes, and your body hasn't seen a bar of soap in days.  Then, the phone rings and it's your ex: "Darlin' I miss you, let's meet for coffee."  In ten minutes, you're up, showered, shaved (legs or face, you choose), and you sprint out the door.  Same with children, they can be switch from being cranky/tired (shopping) to energetic (ice cream?).  There is lots of energy available, but it gets shut down (resistance, frustration, defensiveness).  If a baby is over-stimulated, it goes to sleep.  It can happen to us, too.  Want more signs?  Discouragement, self-pity, and ideas of futility ("I can't do it," "It's too hard," or "It's too dangerous"), and complacency. 

What can we do?  The teachings suggest that learning to mindfully watch our thoughts instead of actively participating in them can stop them from draining our energy.  By just giving a name or label to our various "states" (mental or physical) can help diffuse them.  When you feel fatigued or lack energy you may just be tired.  That's OK.  Find time to rest.  But, see if there's anything else going on?  Is there something you're avoiding?  Have you been over-stimulated, grasping and  wanting, and not getting?  Turning toward these difficulties and understanding them may help us to overcome or at least lessen their hold on us.