If Hurt People Hurt People, do Happy People Happy People?

A line tossed between characters in the movie Greenberg is "hurt people hurt people".  Hum?  The line stayed with me as I pondered its meaning and all of the possible scenarios.  Do sad people sadden others?  Do comfortable people cause others to be comfortable.  And on and on.  You can think of other possibilities. If only "happy" were a verb, "happy people happy people" would be so grammatically correct! 

How much effect do we have on others?  If we're having a bad day, does it mean we unknowingly caused the checker at the grocery store to have a bad day?  Does your anger over an argument with your boss translate to your daughter being angry at her brother?  If there is a connection, and I believe there is, then we had better shape up, don't you think. 

An interesting study a few years back found that obesity was "socially contagious" and came to the conclusion that if your friend becomes obese it increased your chance of becoming obese by 57% in the same time period (1). Yikes!  This would make you consider re-evaluating your friends or vice versa.  On TED.com, Nicholas Christakis, tracks a wide variety of traits from happiness to obesity, that can spread from person to person.(2)

If we are striving to be helpful, altruistic, generous and compassionate people, by following the Ten Commandments, the Four Precepts, the 8-Limbs and a bunch of the other "Lists", then we had better start with ourselves.  It's through our own behavior (good or bad) that others are influenced.  Try smiling at a stranger on the street (not in New York, please).  Maybe your smile could affect that moment/hour/day/week/month/life of this person.  You'll never know.  Can you think of a time in your life when someone has done something seemingly very minor for you, but it came at the perfect time to make a big difference?  I hope so.

As my teacher, Judith Lasater, said, "it's hard to help others when you're exhausted and miserable".   If your life is causing you some hurt or pain or unhappiness, recall the Dalai Lama's quote:  "Our prime purpose in this life is to help others.  And if you can't help them, at least don't hurt them."(3)  This is worth remembering when we're not at our best.  If you are comfortable, well rested, happy and content, then pass it on-we are all waiting.

(1) and (2) http://www.ted.com/talks/nicholas_christakis_the_hidden_influence_of_social_networks.html
(3) www.brainyquote.com/quotes/keywords/hurt.html