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John S. Gordon - Business and Personal Coach
"You have the greatness and the power. I just help you turn on the switch."
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MARVELOUS MONDAYS
June 20, 2011 - Issue 127
REQUEST, RELEASE, & RELIEF
This is the third in a series on expectations. Click here for issues 125 & 126. |
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Dear ,
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 Welcome to Issue 127. If you did not receive a previous issue, you may use the archive link below to view it now. The mission of "Marvelous Mondays" is to offer an inspirational thought, a practical exercise, some humor, or a simple tip to jump-start your week and to enhance your life, business, outlook or relationships.
Please feel free to forward "Marvelous Mondays" to others who will enjoy it.
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| BACKGROUND | | In our last issue #126 we discussed the importance of communicating your expectations both clearly and concisely. There are some situations, however where you do not have a right to an expectation. Typically this is with family and friends but can also apply in business situations. When an expectation is not appropriate, you then make a REQUEST. We're going to discuss how to communicate or how to "language" the request. Without the proper language, the REQUEST turns into an expectation, which then has potential for disappointment or something even worse. |
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DISTINCTION BETWEEN EXPECTATION AND REQUEST | |
In a business setting there are times when a policy must be enforced literally, so those expectations must be met. However in some situations the policies need to be flexible. As a manager, you have a right to an expectation that an employee follow the basic dress code. But within your family, you don't have the same right to expect them to dress exactly like you.
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| BUSINESS REQUEST OR BUSINESS EXPECTATION | | In a business setting, there are certain things a manager has to right expect from the employee, such as: time deadlines, quality standards, etc. However, in grey areas the manager should be flexible and start the conversation as a REQUEST. |
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EXAMPLE OF A PERSONAL REQUEST | |
A wife says to her husband "I'm requesting you put your dishes in the dishwasher right after you eat. Do you agree or do you wish to modify/negotiate?" The husband replies "I'd like to negotiate. I really enjoy my cereal and coffee in the morning. Then I jog-because it's important for my heart. If I stop to do the dishes, I'll just procrastinate and I'll never jog. Is it okay if I do the dishes as soon as I get back from my jog?"
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REQUEST, RELEASE, RELIEF | |
When you REQUEST, you release and get rid of any expectations by letting go of the outcome. You simply let it go. This release becomes a relief to both you and to the other person. |
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EXERCISE | |
1. This week I invite you to be aware of situations in your business and your personal life that are appropriate for expectations and be aware of those that are more appropriate for requests. Then I invite you to practice a new skill by having these conversations.
2. For expectations, the languge is "Here are the expectations based on your job description."
2. For requests, the language is "I am requesting that you...Do you agree with my request or do you wish to modify/negotiate?"
[I realize that this conversation sounds contrived, but I encourage you to give it a try, have some fun with it and consider it a new language game.] |
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| REVISED: JOHN'S BIO | John has owned several businesses, is an attorney, and has practiced in the estate and business areas. In addition, he coaches businesses owners, executives, entrepreneurs, professionals, speech makers and presenters. He also coaches persons wanting to accelerate their careers or who are considering a career move or retirement. He is also a life coach.
**John is currently accepting a few new coaching clients.** |
Did you miss a previous issue of Marvelous Mondays?
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Click here to view an Archive.
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