Today I am going to address a variety of topics:
1. Gifts: If you receive an unexpected gift and weren't planning on reciprocating, that's okay! Offer a sincere thank you and leave it at that. If you feel a need to give something in return, it is fine to wait a few days and deliver it as you are "making your rounds".
Another option is to have a supply of generic gifts, i.e. candles, photo frames, note cards, jams/jellies, etc. already wrapped and ready to go, with blank gift tags nearby. With an "excuse me", you can step away and return a moment later, present in hand. Keep in mind that with a return gift you may be starting a yearly exchange; is this something you really want?
2. If you receive a gift you don't understand, don't like, or are disappointed by, the only appropriate response is "Thank you" or "How thoughtful of you". You can always get rid of, or re-gift the item later. What you say and do is what matters, because it really is the thought that counts.
3. At the dinner table, wait until everyone has been served before you begin eating and allow the host to lead the way as there may be a blessing or a toast to be offered. Liquids go on the right side of the dinner plate, solids on the left, so don't eat other people's food! Remember "BMW" -- B (bread) M (meal) W (water).
4. Mistletoe Manners: There are options to the "lip lock", should you become uncomfortably cornered! A "cheek kiss" will symbolize good will without becoming mushy; the European "two-cheek air kiss" will give the impression you are cultured and refined; the old-fashioned handshake makes things perfectly clear; and finally, there is the "ignorance is bliss" approach (pretend you don't see it and move quickly away!)
5. Tipping: You offer an end of year tip to say thank you to those who provide services to you through-out the year. You should never feel obligated to go beyond your budget, and if your budget does not extend that far, you can show your appreciation with a home-made gift or treats.
If you regularly tip at the time the service is received, you may forgo the holiday gratuity, or offer a moderate amount or small gift.
Here are some suggestions for you. Unless otherwise noted, the amount pertains to either cash or a small gift:
Barber: Cost of one haircut
Hair Salon: Cost of one salon visit
Personal Trainer: Up to the amount of one session
Massage Therapist: Up to the cost of one session
Newspaper Carrier: $10 to $25
Yard Caretaker: $20 to $50 per person
Babysitter: Cash -- cost of one evening out
USPS Mail Carrier: Snacks, beverages or perishable gifts that are not part of a meal. Small gifts with less than $20 value, i.e. travel mugs, hand warmers, etc. They are precluded from accepting cash or cash equivalents (gift cards) or gifts with a value of more than $20.
FedEx: "Employees cannot accept gifts valued at $75 or less, but gifts of cash of any amount may never be accepted."
UPS: While they are discouraged to accept cash or gifts, holiday treats are appreciated as they complete their long winter routes.
Above all, one of the most valuable things you may offer is a handwritten note, expressing your appreciation for the services the person provides and the impact it has on your life.
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