Gratitude,
the Gift
that Keeps on Giving
By Emmett Miller MD
"If the only prayer
you say in your life is, `Thank you,' that would suffice."
-- Meister
Eckhart
`Tis the season to be grateful. ... It may be difficult to remember to be
grateful, and that it is not just a seasonal thing, heavily corrupted by merchandising. At least, it
does provide us with a teachable moment.
In these tough times, it
may be difficult to remember to be grateful
for what we have instead of anguishing over what we don't have.
Try this reality check: Do you have a roof over your head? A
bed to sleep in? Food in a refrigerator? Indoor plumbing? Electricity? Clean
water to drink? A car? An education?
Compared to the rest of the world, you are fabulously
wealthy - and lucky. See how many things you can find to be thankful for during
this brief song:
Why us? Why are we so privileged to live in the most
prosperous country in the world? Life's a lot tougher in Bangladesh or Somalia.
And why we are blessed with freedom? Long before we were
born, patriots fought and died for the fundamental freedoms we enjoy today.
It's not like we did anything. We
just inherited the benefit of their sacrifice.
We should rejoice in gratitude for our lucky circumstances.
So why are we so busy complaining about what we don't have,
and not appreciating what we do have (unless you count jealously hoarding what
you've got with no willingness to share as "appreciation").
Acquiring an Attitude of Gratitude
Many of us operate on an obsessive consumerism with the
philosophy that, "He who dies with the most toys wins." What kind of game are
we playing. "Greed is Good," goes the philosophy that has infected the world
since time immemorial, even before it became the motto of American business in
the middle of the last century. And if you find that you seldom take the time
to feel appreciation and gratefulness for things in your life, perhaps you have
contracted a case of this affluenza yourself! If so you may find yourself
complaining about what you don't have, feeling envy of others who appear to
have more, or jealously guarding what you have instead of sharing it.
Are you constantly on the lookout for how to get more? When
will we ever learn that more is never enough?
Was it a surprise to you when, after receiving a huge
helping of corporate welfare in the form of bailout funds, the robber barons
whose policies had led us to the brink of disaster voted themselves million
dollar bonuses? Check your DQ - your Denial Quotient.
And isn't the health care debate that has gridlocked
Congress really about power and money? Recently, Lily Tomlin reprised her
Earnestine role as a heartless "service" representative on the phone. This time
she blows off a patient: "We're an insurance company. Your health care is our
business, not our concern."Watch the video here: Ernestine for CaliforniaOneCare.org
And during recent climate change summit in Copenhagen,
representatives of developing countries protested that First World nations -
rather than reducing their carbon footprints - seem comfortable with allowing a
2-degree rise in global temperature. Are we really that greedy that we would
allow the disappearance of some island states and "certain death" for much of
Africa?
Despite overwhelming evidence that we are blessed with so
much, too many of us feel strangely entitled
to what we have - and are markedly lacking in compassion for those who are
less lucky.
Though you will not hear them from some of today's most
visible and influential Christians, the Bible contains more than 300 verses
on the poor, social justice, and God's deep concern for both. Consider:
Deut. 15:7. If there is a poor man among you, one of your brothers . .
. you shall not harden your heart . . . but you shall freely open your hand to
him, and generously lend him sufficient for his need in whatever he lacks.
Luke 3:11.
And [John the Baptist] would answer and say to them, "Let the man with two
tunics share with him who has none, and let him who has food do likewise."
How can I be grateful when I have
lost so much?
A man's home was burgled. "Are you not sad?" he
was asked. "No," he replied, "I am feeling grateful - for three
reasons. The first is that, although they took a great deal, they did not take
everything. Secondly, though they took my possessions, I was not harmed.
Thirdly, I am most grateful that it was they who stole, and not I." (I try
to emulate the fellow in this story, and though I have not equaled his
equanimity, I am getting better.)
Corporate robber barons have run amok, often legally. People
have lost their life savings, their homes, their cars, their jobs - and more.
We have all been the victims to one degree or another, and it may seem
difficult to be grateful in the face of such personal disasters - but strangely
enough, that's when we need gratitude the most. This is when we most need the
willingness to open ourselves fully to the knowledge that there are things that
are more important than our own emotional reactions and collection of
possessions.
In fact, many times, it takes the shock of losing what we
think is important to realize what is actually important. But we will never
discover that which is of greater value if we are immersed in feeling sorry for
ourselves.
The hardest arithmetic to master is that which
enables us to count our blessings. --Eric Hoffer
All Pervasive Gratitude
To get the most out of life, perhaps, it might be a wise
move to endeavor to develop a kind of all-pervasive gratitude - a New Paradigm
kind of gratefulness - one that sees an opportunity for gratitude everywhere,
in every flower, in every movement, and every sound, in everything. Grateful to
be. Grateful to experience love. To appreciate the incredible richness of the
world with deep respect - indeed, with awe - and in appreciation of something
greater than self, a sense of reverence for humanity.
And if you are fortunate enough
to have people in your life that love you, then gratitude is clearly in order.
As Albert Schweitzer reminded us, "At times our own light goes out and is
rekindled by a spark from another person. Each of us has cause to think with
deep gratitude of those who have lighted the flame within us."
There is always something to be thankful for, if you take
time to look for it. For example, I am sitting here thinking how nice it is
that wrinkles don't hurt!
How can I begin?
Simply start with the intention
to feel gratitude. Don't stand around waiting for it to happen, intend it! Remember, your feelings are
behaviors, they belong to you, and you can choose, intentionally to guide your thoughts to focus upon those things
that awaken your ability to feel grateful for your gifts.
Right now, allow yourself to be willing to actually give
yourself the time to feel how wonderfully good it feels, taking a deep breath .
. . Now . . . breathing in a full, rich inspiration . . . letting that breath
inspire every cell of your brain . . . and every organ of your body . . . and
realize that feeling gratitude is feeling love . . . and is a blessing of
infinite magnitude.
Here is a brief video clip to help awaken appreciation and
gratitude:
Maybe at the end of our lives we can leave behind a message
similar to that of Charlie Mechem, former head of Taft Broadcasting. Charlie
wished that this might be put on his tombstone: "Dear God, Thanks for
letting me visit. I had a wonderful time."
So be well, enjoy this holiday season and remember that one
of the very best ways to express gratitude is to give. O. Henry's classic short
story "The Gift of the Magi" reminds us this is a most profound way. Here it
is retold again in an animated short:
