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15 THING I'VE LEARNT NO.9
Dear
The wonders of the internet mean I'm typing this in San Fransisco before I hop on a plane to speak at a conference in Phoenix. Two more clicks and you'll be reading this in your inbox, where ever you are in the world.
Following on
from my previous
newsletter here is the next instalment of 15 things I've learnt about human
beings and success in 3,500 hours. No. 9 is "
There
is no such thing as bad self awareness. Understanding your weaknesses is as
important as knowing your strengths.". You can read the previous
8 things I've learnt in the archives.
What
is self awareness?
Self awareness is quite a strange term, as
if we weren't, we couldn't ask the question. Think about it. So, the fact that
we can ask the question means we are conscious. Doesn't it? I am conscious of
myself, aren't I? I am self aware, aren't I? How could I be conscious of self
and yet not aware at the same time?
If you want to explore those questions let me recommend you
listen to Eckhart Tolle and Oprah talk about this at a level I wouldn't attempt
to explain. It's all for free on Oprah's site or you can subscribe for the free podcast on ITunes. Listen to a couple of
chapters and if it doesn't grab you then that's ok. Don't bother with the rest.
But if you like the first chapter you'll certainly download the remaining nine free
chapters to watch or listen to.
Now
back to self awareness. We are all at different levels of self
awareness. At some time, we've all met people who are low in self awareness.
They don't know how annoying they are or that they communicate poorly or that
they say something repeatedly at the beginning or end of a sentence, or that
that they talk too much. These things began once at a conscious level but have
now become habitual, automatic and handed over to the subconscious. If you
pointed it out to them then they will either become conscious of it and decide
to change or deny its existence. Mmmmmmmm. Interesting.
Now we have identified the faults in others we could ask
ourselves "What is it that I do I'm not conscious
of? Do I have any annoying little habits that people have never felt comfortable
to point out to me?
An important thing that happens to clients during coaching
is that their awareness increases. Certain exercises we do makes them think. Think
at levels they have never thought before. Most importantly, we have to turn off
the autopilot that runs so many people's systems and keeps them living
habitually instead of consciously.
Sometimes things come up about themselves that might not
be pleasant. But all self awareness is
good. If I do a budget and discover just how screwed my finances are then I
can do something about it. If I become aware of some people find me a little
over the top or intense, then I can tone it down in some circumstances. If I
become aware that I know nothing about a computer program in need to use, then I
can choose to either learn it myself or find someone who can do the work for
me. When we have awareness we are empowered to make decisions and choices.
Without that awareness we are controlled by habitual subconscious responses.
One final
thing that might be helpful. Every one of your strengths
will also have a weakness attached to it you need to be aware of. For example, if
I am a giving person, then the weakness might be I have trouble saying 'no' and
people abuse my generosity. It may be that I am highly organised, which is a
strength, but then I might have trouble allowing myself to do things spontaneously.
I could also have the strength of making people feel comfortable but the
downside of that is that I may never want to talk about things that are awkward
but yet important.
Self
awareness means knowing your strengths and weaknesses and managing them
accordingly.
Any questions? Just email
me. anthony.venn-brown@psalifecoaching.com
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Your Life
Your presence is a
present to the world.
You're unique and one of a kind.
Your life can be what you want it to be.
Take the days just one at a time.
Count your blessings, not your troubles.
You'll make it through whatever comes along.
Within you are so many answers.
Understand, have courage, be strong.
Don't put limits on yourself.
So many dreams are waiting to be realized.
Decisions are too important to leave to chance.
Reach for your peak, your goal, and your prize.
Nothing wastes more energy than worrying.
The longer one carries a problem, the heavier it gets.
Don't take things to seriously.
Live a life of serenity, not a life of regrets.
Remember that a little love goes a long way.
Remember that a lot..... goes forever.
Remember that friendship is a wise investment.
Life's treasures are people.... together.
Realize that it's never too late.
Do ordinary things in an extraordinary way.
Have health and hope and happiness.
Take the time to wish upon a star.
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