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Bette Frick
The Text Doctor LLC 
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In This Issue
Persuading through stories
This month's writing lesson: Good space, bad space!
June's quiz on parallelism
Readers rant
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Please forward to a friend or colleague
 
Free grammar, punctuation, and writing training in 2012  
Watch this monthly newsletter for these future lessons:
  • List? Table? Graphic?
  • Get upfront with your reader
  • Tone in writing (and you get to help me with this) 
  • How to handle numbers   
  • Capitalization 
Quote of the month

There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you.

Maya Angelou

American poet and author

Born 1928

 

Yes, I have my own editor

Special thanks to my faithful editor, Liz Willis, who improves my newsletter every month. 

 

Can you share a story about how storytelling was an effective communication tool for you? 


Storytelling can be powerful in technical and business writing. Here's an opportunity to share your storytelling success with other readers.

The Text Doctor's Diagnosis  
August 2012  

Greetings!

 

Do you suppose that the increased heat made this summer go faster? That's how it seems to me...and I'm sorry that I missed writing to you in July.  

 

Our Rocky Mountain family reunion went beautifully, and the family history DVD turned out to be a big hit. I wrote in June how I worked on that project for one hour per day for four months . . . proving that we can all finish huge projects if we divide them into manageable chunks and then plow through each chunk. 

 

I hope your own summer was superb, and that you are heading into a fabulous fall.

Happy Labor Day!
Persuading through stories

I have never been overly impressed with my own persuasive capabilities, but recently I experienced a political success that I attribute to storytelling.

 

Some background: On five separate occasions, I had near encounters with bicycles while I was walking on the sidewalk that loops through our condo development (there are several blind spots where bikers can't see pedestrians entering the sidewalk). The sidewalk is only 30 feet away from a wide driveway with good sight lines that would be much better and safer for bikers to use.

 

I had twice asked our homeowners association to ban bicycles on the sidewalks, but they had resisted, citing the large number of rules that we already have. I finally decided to ask them once more and to tell them some stories to prove my point.

 

As I spoke, briefly describing each near-miss, I showed them the corresponding blind spot on the large map of our grounds. Then I told them of my most recent close call; it was with Julian, an otherwise very pleasant 10-year-old boy. After Julian nearly hit me with his bicycle, I stopped him and asked why he was riding on the sidewalk and not the driveway. "It saves me time!" he said. The board members laughed.

 

As I closed my presentation, I painted a verbal picture of what a lawsuit against the association would look like if a resident were to be hit by a biker. And then the board voted to ban bicycles on the sidewalk.

 

I think it was the stories that won this victory, and here's how I prepared those stories:

  • I rehearsed them out loud many times, cutting each story to the bone (keeping only the most relevant points).
  • I kept each story factual and removed all emotion.
  • I used the map to locate each story visually.
  • I let Julian's story provide its own humor (a 10-year-old on summer vacation needing to save seconds of time?)

You, too, can use stories to persuade your business and technical audiences. Obviously, your stories must be relevant, personal, honest, and timely. They must connect people to people: One of my clients lines the walls of their entryways and lobbies with photos and stories of people who have had the company's devices implanted. Every time I walk those halls, I feel connected to those people in the photos and the devices that have saved their lives, and I work harder for that company!

 

Your story must "push buttons" in your audience's mind. Here are the buttons that I used to impress our association board: Five incidents in eight months; silly reasons bikers offer for riding on the sidewalks; lawsuits not only possible, but probable. You must think strategically about which stories would affect your audience the most.

 

And you must practice your stories so much that they sound natural when you finally tell them, as if you had just suddenly remembered them and decided to share them to make your point.

 

Here's another example of persuasive storytelling: A student of mine proposed to her boss that she should have her own private printer rather than use the network printer located in a very public place. She told her boss exactly how far she had to walk every time she needed to pick up a document. She also explained how her confidential documents ended up lying out in public whenever she was interrupted in her journey to the printer. She laid out her stories calmly and methodically, and she got her printer!

 

And of course, storytelling works in all forms of communication, not just persuasion. Please tell us about your most successful stories! 

 

This month's writing lesson:
Good space, bad space

White space is good for readers, except when it is not good for readers. White space is defined as "areas without text or graphic" and should be as minimal as necessary and evenly distributed throughout a page.

 

White space "lightens" the page and invites the reader to read. It gives the reader's eye a place to rest, provides contrast, and draws attention to text or graphics.

 

Good space  

  • Between paragraphs
  • Between bullet points in a list
  • Around graphics
  • Around text in tables and spreadsheets

 Bad space  

  • Space on either side of a slash
  • Space on either side of a hyphen
  • Space on either side of a dash
  • Space forced into a line because of full justification

I have noticed a lot of these "bad spaces" recently, and I don't know why. The rules have been the same for years: no spaces on either side of slashes, dashes, or hyphens, and always avoid full justification. Your reader's eye is attracted to white space, even briefly. When there seems to be no purpose for the white space, it slows your reader down.

 

Don't be spacey!

 

(Look for the Quiz of the Month in next month's issue.) 

June's quiz on misplaced phrases
You were remarkably good at identifying misplaced phrases.
Readers rant!

David writes:  

 

<RANT>I was reading The Denver Post and saw another word that makes me grit my teeth: "lastly." A long-time reporter wrote that awful word in a news article. A sequence requires an ordinal number: first, second...last. I know "lastly" is in the dictionary, but. . . I thought of a catchy phrase that captures and encapsulates my ire exactly: "Lastly is ghastly!"</RANT>  

 

Thanks, David! I couldn't have said it better.

 

Bonnie writes: <RANT>Lately I've been seeing 's used in places where there shouldn't be an apostrophe, and it's making me CRAZY! I see it on signs, in print, in documents and reports. I think you could do a great service by addressing this situation.</RANT>  


Bonnie, I agree with you about misplaced apostrophes. Please see my  November 2011 newsletter on this issue.

 

Do you have your own pet peeve about language? Rant about it here.

 

Recent successful webinars that will help your work group or employees write better 

  • Bite the Bullet: How NOT to Kill your Presentation with your Slides (1.5 hours) 
  • Better Medical and Business Writing (3 hours)
  • Punctuation Matters for Medical Writers (1.5 hours) 

 

I love teaching webinars; let's talk about how communication webinars may help your work group or employees and maximize your training dollars.

 

Sincerely,

Elizabeth (Bette) Frick, PhD, ELS
The Text Doctor LLC