Happy Summer!!

Congratulations to the Class of 2010 and to the 8th grade "promotees" .... we are incredibly proud of you and all you have accomplished and we are so excited for the next phase of your adventure.  Whether it's being a freshmen in high school or at the college of your dreams, or if it's starting a new job in the career of your choice - this is a wonderful time in your young lives and we are honored to be a small part of it and wish you the best of luck.

And to the parents - congratulations for surviving another year of teenhood!  Our agency gets to work with all of the teens of Santa Clarita, so we are well versed in much of what they are feeling on a day to day basis, and what you, as the parent, are experiencing at home.  We get it and we applaud you for continuing to raise such great kids.

And as we sit here a few weeks into summer, some of you may be feeling a bit overwhelmed with all the free time on your hands and what do to keep your kids occupied, safe, happy, healthy and maintain harmony in the family.  It doesn't have to be a scary thing to spend time with your teenagers or for your kids to "be seen" with their parents ...but in order for it to be a smooth ride, everyone has to be flexible and patient as you move through the next phase of teen life.

One thing we heard a lot from the kids we worked with, is that they felt alone and that nobody understands them!  We know, having been a teenager once, that those feelings can get really huge inside your head, if you don't express them and deal with them.  So what we tell the kids, is let your parents in ... trust them a little to understand because "yes, they were teenagers once too!"  And then we HOPE and encourage our parents are willing to listen, and not judge when their teenager finally is brave enough to ask questions about sex, drugs and rock 'n roll. Yes parents ... your kids are wondering about pot, smoking cigarettes or tasting vodka ... and yes, they are curious about kissing, sex and losing their virginity.  We know you are probably saying, "NOT MY KID" ... but truth is, it's ALL kids.  They are human and it's life.  We are not saying that ALL kids are engaging in the things they are curious about, but they are entertaining the thoughts.  So our suggestion to you, is try not to gasp to loudly when they open up and ask the questions you hoped they would never utter ... and then be cool.  Be human.  And treat their curiosity with respect; don't pretend you never did it when you were their age, because that could potentially perpetuate their feeling alone and that they are "weird" to be thinking about "taboo topics".  Your role as parent is to be their parent; set boundaries and expectations, explain to them that there are consequences for their behaviors, arm them with knowledge about the things they are asking (and if you don't know, say you don't know and then found out the answers together), and let them talk - you will learn a lot if you ask them questions too and then let them talk.

Kids are facing the same issues that were around years ago ... What do I want to be when I grow up? Why won't she talk to me?  Why did he break up with me?  Am I not pretty enough?  Skinny enough?  Fast enough?  Smart enough?   All of these questions, while the hormones and emotions are raging, is not an easy thing to handle. They are trying to understand their bodies and their brains, while they are trying to fit in, stand out and become independent.

Parents you have a tough job: to be their parent, disciplinarian, confidant, nurse, tutor, entertainment director, taxi cab driver, personal chef, ATM and every job in between - we recognize how hard this is for you.  Kids were not born with a manual on how to be a kid, any more than parents were given one on parenting; it's a never ending process and all of us are bound to make mistakes.  Hopefully, we can admit them, more forward and ask for guidance when we are in need.  The Youth Project focuses on healthy families, so if you need some suggestions, some support, anything ...let us know, and we will do our best to help!