Six Needs Of A Happy Dieter - Part Two
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Firstly if you didn't read parts one and two of this article then have a quick read through at
Part One
Part Two
So this is the last part of the happiness jigsaw!
Once you have the right mix of stability and excitement in your life, the right mix of good self esteem, good group connections and great relationships then you are just left with 5 & 6 to move on with your life.
So number 5 is growth. The standard law of nature is that if something isn't growing then it is dying, so are you growing in your life?
I was doing a performance review at work this week and had a member of staff tell me that he enjoys 'treading water' and didn't want to develop or get any better at his job.
The reality is that you can't 'tread water' in life, change is absolutely certain and therefore you must be growing.
Growing includes growing in terms of learning at college or reading up on a new subject. It may be growing in your relationships or taking on a new project in the garden. It may be swapping jobs for a new challenge that allows you to develop. Whatever it is you have to feel that in your life you are moving onwards and upwards.
So turning this to you, how exactly are you growing in your life? Do you feel like you are in neutral and don't have a focus?
The ultimate question that many people I work with have no answer for is
'What do you want to do with the rest of your life and what is your life goal?'
And then just number 6!
Number 6 is what I call the secret millionaire...it is giving back...
Do you give back to the world? As an example I sit and type this newsletter every Saturday morning and send it out to you all. It costs me an amount of money per month to send this out to everyone and it takes me a good couple of hours to format all of this and make it look tidy. It then takes Jo an hour to do all the spell checking and sort out my awful grammar...but I don't charge you and I don't expect anything back.
The reason is that I am giving something back to the world. I was a very big guy who was heading for disaster with my health and I know that others need help and it makes me happy by giving them back my experiences.
But here is the key! You give back without needing others to say thanks or because you NEED others.
Now I love when you E-Mail me but if nobody does then I will still send this out because I don't NEED you to respond.
The best way I can explain this is when I first became a diet counsellor I used to see people til midnight and was doing 100 hour weeks. The reason I was literally forcing myself into a breakdown was that I needed people to tell me how good I was, how great it was that I was helping them, how I was an inspiration to them. You see I didn't like myself at all and therefore needed others to convince me otherwise. I used to ask people all the time whether I was good enough as I didn't believe I was.
And that is why all of these 6 points link into each other. If you don't like yourself (number 3) then you go in search of others to tell you that are you ok (number 4). If you aren't growing in your life (number 5) then you feel bored and unsatisfied (number 1) and therefore you crave some excitement (number 2) but if you give back too much (number 6) then you can blow up other areas of your life and lose relationships (number 1) etc etc
So life is a balance! And these 6 points all need to be balanced with each other.
But I PROMISE you if you have a good stable life with some excitement in it, you have good relationships like yourself and you are growing and helping others when you can then suddenly food will not be an issue for you as you'll not need food as a sticky plaster.
When I went through these points back in 2006 I realised that I had very little excitement in life (number 2), and that I was not growing in my life (number 5) and that I was giving too much time to everyone else (number 6) and therefore I changed things to address that and suddenly life was better!
Have a fantastic week!
Mike ;-)
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