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Life BreakThroughs!
- December 2009 - |
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Down Time ... Revisited
By Barbara Mencer
In the October Newsletter, we did a little role reversal. I asked you for your help in the form of suggestions and insights on how to achieve more balance in my driven, Type A, overachiever life. Your response moved me to tears. Not only did I get an absolute flood of emails, but they were so heartfelt, so thoughtful, and so well-written, I was honored and humbled to receive them. I'll never forget how you reached out to me. Thank you. One thing is quite clear. I have a great deal of company in the go-go, gotta-get-it-done, no-time-for-me department. So, what do we do to decompress? And how do we start thinking about taking time away without dismissing self-care and off-time activities as frivolous and non-productive? Of course, as promised, I want to tell you what I'm thinking and doing. But first, I just have to share a couple of the funny and poignant comments I received. Try watching the television show, "Clean House." It'll make you feel pretty good about yourself even if your house is messy. Better yet, this topic deserves some research - you need to take a week long trip to Italy and experience La Dolce Vita.
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I don't need to sit on another committee or chair another fundraiser. What I do need are those precious moments of inner stillness whether they are in a yoga pose, walking on the beach or holding my child as he falls asleep.
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When I die, what will my family remember, a house that was clean all the time, someone who worked all the time and was stressed, or the wonderful family memories we had together?
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That about sums it up, doesn't it?
To see what people suggested I consider as ways to tune out the madness for a while, check out the article below. Great suggestions!
But what I want to focus on in this article is why I've had such a hard time taking time off and letting go. A note on this score from a fellow coach ended up hitting me squarely between the eyes. It prompted me to consider several questions.
What does my internal dialogue reveal about what's important to me? What do I value? I mean, why would I ever happily devote time to something when I don't think it's the best use of that precious time? I wouldn't.
So, I had to look inside at WHY I would take more time away from work and training. It can't be simply because I "should."
There has to be a compelling reason. And the truth is that from a short term perspective, something work-related or fitness-related almost has always looked like a better use of my time. And so, when I looked at "something to do" as a down time activity, it felt like just one more chore to add to my already long list! Not much self-care there.
But when I stepped back and took a long look at things from the standpoint of what's really important to me in the big picture, everything changed.
I got connected with the fact that a lot of important - truly important - things are passing me by, including spending more time with my kids and my husband, as well as time just for me. So, rather than focus on a particular activity, I'm just setting aside some time each week to just "be." To sit quietly and think or go on a walk and enjoy nature, spend time with the family, watch TV, read ... whatever feels right in the moment. The key is that I'm scheduling a few minutes ... maybe 3 maybe 30 ... and just flowing in that moment.
And it's been great. I've also taken the advice of many of you and I'm doing a centering activity ... a kind of meditation. At first I found it hard to do. I didn't like interrupting my day to sit quietly. Big surprise, huh? I found my mind wandering. But after several days, I began to look forward to my mini breaks. It brought me back to the present, to feeling calmer about life, work, myself.
And that's what it's all about isn't it?
I'm sure there'll be more to talk about as time goes on, but for now, let's just say "yea." I get it. It's good.
Bless You,
Barbara |
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16 Ways To Break Away And Enjoy Life By Barbara Mencer
Another thing became perfectly clear to me in reading through your e-mails. Different things suit different people. One size definitely does not fit all.
But something or another on this list is sure to do the trick for just about everybody.
Please forgive the shorthand as I simply list a distillation of your many offerings. Every note was so wonderful and so personal. But in the interest of time ... can I have a drum roll please?
- Get out in nature ... hike or mountain bike.
- Walk.
- Take a bubble bath ... no interruptions!
- Read, something like a mystery novel you can get lost in and not be conscious of non-productivity ... or something inspirational like the Course In Miracles.
- Write ... could be journaling or storytelling.
- Knit or sew or take up other hobbies.
- Meditate.
- Do yoga, Tai Chi or Chi Qong (Qiqong). More people mentioned yoga than anything else!
- Breathe ... "all the way down to your toes."
- Have a Reiki session.
- Sit down with a glass of wine and a good movie or some jazz.
- Go to the spa.
- Get a massage.
- Take 2 days in Captiva Florida by yourself.
- Stay in bed on days off and watch the TV morning shows and save shows on the DVR to watch later.
- Clean and organize the house.
This great note came with the last entry:
When I'm cleaning, I stop thinking about work, kids, school, per se, and actually allow my mind to wonder, process, and think about my life. There's something soothing about getting down on your hands and knees and scrubbing the floor.
So, there you have it. From drinkin' a little wine and lyin' around in bed to scrubbin' the floor.
Whatever works.
Lastly, for all you Type A's out there who are using your slam-packed schedule as an excuse not to stop and smell the roses, let me tell you that this last couple of months hasn't been exactly the ideal time for me to get in touch with my inner self.
Like Denise, I've been all over, speaking to several terrific groups. I've been to Tucson, New Mexico, Silicon Valley, Denver, and all over Southern California. It's been absolutely great, but the normal business of work and family doesn't magically suspend when you're on the road.
So, I don't want to hear it.
The time to just "be" is now!
Warmest Regards,
Barbara |
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We're Looking for a Speaking & Tour Manager!
In the beginning, Denise and I booked our own speaking engagements. Then we hired a wonderful person to help us. She's been great, and we're growing so fast with so much on our plates that we now need to add another member to the team. Could that person be you or someone you know?
It's a part-time hourly position with performance bonuses that involves contacting and following up with organizations and managing the logistics connected with our speaking appearances.
The position takes someone with an outgoing nature and good communication skills, along with the ability to follow through and wrangle the details. Most importantly, it requires someone who believes in the mission of BBI and, once trained, won't hesitate to pick up the phone and call people who want and need what you're offering. And yes, you can work from home! We'll be interviewing through December and we'd like our new person to start after the first of the year.
If you're interested, please send your resume to: info@BusinessBreakThroughInstitute.com. And please feel free to forward this information to anyone who might be a good candidate.
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