We give a lot of advice in these newsletters. This month, I'd like to do a little role reversal and ask, instead, for your advice on something personal, if that's okay.
But first, I have a confession to make. Denise is really the one who's comfortable writing about feelings, emotions, aspirations, and all that warm and fuzzy stuff. It's a stretch for me. I tend to play my cards closer to the vest. As a result, I'm far more at home writing "how to" business articles.
Even so, writing these "life" newsletters has been good for me. It gets me thinking in depth about subjects I usually wouldn't give more than a passing thought to.
One of those things is self-care.
Honestly, I don't really practice it much. In fact, until recently, I'd have been more likely to scoff at the notion.
The closest thing I get to a true escape is my regular workout at the gym. And while that's a great stress reliever and I enjoy it, it doesn't exactly qualify as letting down and relaxing or doing the little things that bring me joy.
The truth is that I'm a very driven, super achiever, Type A personality.
If I get a massage, it's not to let go and unwind. It's because my muscles are tight and I need to relax them prior to a figure competition, so I can flex better on stage.
Sure, I get my hair and nails done, but I see it more as grooming that's necessary for a professional appearance, rather than enjoying it as a way to pamper myself. And I'm impatient when my appointments run late.
On a day to day basis, it's so much a part of me to keep driving, no matter what, that I never think twice about relaxing. And actually, I'm perfectly fine with that. I don't even notice that I'm not relaxing.
I do take some time on the weekends. I might go with my husband to our neighborhood Starbucks, for instance, and sip on an iced tea while we people watch in the plaza. In fact, every weekend we do something fun - happy hour, sipping wine at an outdoor café by the ocean. It's not like I NEVER sit still, but I seldom do.
My default is to keep going, because there's always so much to do. My internal voice that says idle time isn't productive time and that if I'm not working, I'm slacking, and slacking isn't acceptable. And part of it is simply that I've got so much on my plate that it just isn't feasible for me to relax much. Just like most of the people I see around me.
I work, and work, and work, and then work some more, and then I workout, going hard at my training regimen.
Denise tells me all the time I need to take time for myself. Nothing too major ... maybe just 30 minutes three times a week. A little down time to relax and reflect, to feel and allow ... and enjoy. Some time to appreciate and celebrate and just go limp.
I don't do it. Not because I couldn't do it, but because I'm somewhat uncomfortable with it.
That driven part of my nature is what's allowed me to build a business, and raise two kids almost single handedly, and achieve a level of performance in fitness that's in the top 1% in the nation. It's worked for me. It's my "success formula." I guess part of me assumes that if I don't keep the pedal to the metal, I won't continue to see the results I want to see.
As a result, that constantly-on-the-go persona has become a big part of who I am. The perpetual motion has a way of taking on a life of its own ... and taking over from time to time.
And I know I'm not alone. The way modern life is, there's plenty of opportunity to overload ourselves and burn the candle at both ends. It's become the norm. And it's making a lot of us crazy and sick. I'm lucky that I have a physical release for some of the stress, but I know in my heart of hearts I'm not living a balanced life with enough emphasis on recreation, relaxation, and enjoyment.
So, I thought you might be willing to take on the role of coach and advisor and help me in my quest to achieve more balance.
I'd love to hear what you do for yourself in the way of self-care and renewal that really works for you. I'd especially like to hear from you overachiever types who are in the same boat.
Please let me in on what you do to disengage the motor and just let go for a while. Also, what do you tell yourself to keep from feeling as if you're letting important things slide.
Just hit reply to this email and let me know your secrets.
I pledge to take that hour and a half a week just for me and incorporate your suggestions. I'll then share what works and what doesn't from my perspective in future letters.
Thanks. It should be a fun and revealing experiment.
Regards,
Barbara
