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The Infamous Pirates of Penzance Release Their Demands for Return of the Fat Lady
Omaha, NE - October 6, 2008
After a tense weekend, Opera Omaha releases an update on the developing saga with the notorious Pirates of Penzance. Company officials confirm that a second note was received early today outlining specific grievances and listing ransom terms for the safe return of The Fat Lady. [Pictured here]
"We were first contacted last Tuesday by the Pirates, informing us that they were upset with Opera Omaha's unauthorized usage of the 'Pirate image and brand' in the promotion of our upcoming production of The Pirates of Penzance October 15, 17 and 19," states Kelly Blice, Director of Marketing. "The first note [note] stated that the Pirates had stolen something of value, which was later confirmed to be our Fat Lady doll." The Fat Lady doll, a relic of past opera images based on the phrase, "It's not over until the fat lady sings ," [Wikipedia link] was kept in Opera Omaha's vault.
Authorities are still scrutinizing the full text of the second note, but have released four of the ransom demands.
- Opera Omaha shall publicly acknowledge their unauthorized usage of the Pirate image and apologize for any misleading or false representation of said Pirate image and brand.
- Opera Omaha shall completely sell out each of the three performances allowing the true Pirates of Penzance to articulate their grievances and clearly showcase the official Pirate brand to the maximum number of audience members.
- Opera Omaha shall arrange for 7 Brides for 7 Pirates...and one date for Ruth
- Opera Omaha shall negotiate with performance sponsor, University of Nebraska Medical Center, to provide quality health checkups each time the Pirates are in port.
"We are continuing to consult with local authorities, the Major-General and the Sergeant of Police [photo] on how best to respond to this latest communication," says General Director John Wehrle. "As we stated last week, it's still business as usual and we look forward to seeing everyone at the Orpheum Theater. [Click here to purchase tickets]
Opera Omaha continues to seek the help of the community in finding The Fat Lady. People are encouraged to print and distribute the attached Missing Person's flier [flier] and to tune in tomorrow for an exclusive interview with the Pirate King.
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