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Marty L. Cooper, MFT
(415) 937-1620
4831 Geary Blvd.
San Francisco, CA 94118
martycooper@
mlcooper.com
www.mlcooper.com
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| June 2012 Vol. 4, Issue 5 |
Greetings!
Greetings!
I hope you're out enjoying the summer weather, which in San Francisco is actually feeling like summer...at least for now. In case you're out of the area, S.F. weather is a good practice in accepting life as it comes, in all its unpredictablity.
Speaking of which, the article this month is about the normal confusion surrounding spiritual practice and depression, specifically, the question of how good Buddhists (and other seekers) can suffer from something like depression. |
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Why Do Buddhists (and other seekers) Get Depressed?
When I tell people that I often work with depressed Buddhists, they tend to look at me askance, and the cheekier will say, "Isn't that an oxymoron?" The idea is that spiritual practice (whether Buddhist or otherwise, hence, "seekers"), especially one like Buddhism that so emphasizes peace and equanimity, should contradict suffering. If you're a practitioner of peace, you should be peaceful.
And that's actually the idea that many, if not most, spiritual practitioners carry into their practice. This path, we think, is finally going to give us the control that we've been missing, allowing us to finally overcome pain and suffering. But this is the common misunderstanding of both depression and practice which seems to simply be the confusion of early practice, that real success is measured in increased control.
If we take a look at the nature of depression, we see that it pivots on the experience/interpretation of events as futile, plus a difficulty in letting go of attachments. Say, we want that promotion, and have a belief that if we don't get it, it's because we are a weak person, and therefore we experience a kind of "futility of being" that engenders depression. If we got the job, all's well, and if we easily take disappointments ("Eh, it will come next time...") then also no depression. It's the combination of futility and attachment that supports and feeds depression.
So it's this combination that can (and so often is) brought to a spiritual practice. "This practice," we say, quietly, to ourselves, "is going to work where other things, and I, have failed." Even if, as in Buddhism, the practice is explicitly acceptance and allowing life to be as it is, we can read that as, "In practicing acceptance, I will have more control."
This contradiction is one reason that practitioners of peace and acceptance can still experience depression even while diligently practicing. And it's not that they are doing anything wrong; but rather that the human need and demand for control (to feel safe, valid, worthy) is so deeply seated that it takes a while before it is exposed to awareness, accepted ("What, I don't have control?!"), and then surrendered. Buddhist, and other, paths, require time to actually work on the practitioner, to break down this demand for control (even from the "path of acceptance") and deepen into the real acceptance of life as it is, even experience of depression.
So, Buddhists get depressed because there is a natural confusion of "Let go" with "Let go (and get more control)." The good news is that our practices (Buddhist or otherwise) are there to expose this confusion, and help us move towards where genuine peace actually lies, in the simple act of letting go and accepting.
(P.S. This leaves out a discussion of the body and nervous system, which is also very important, because seekers often secretly hope that practice means getting away from these painful bodies, i.e., being able to control bodily life. Depression does exist in the body and nervous system, and each individual has a biochemical set point that is different from others, and hence a good practicing Buddhist can still have a bodily/neurological bias towards depression, in the same way he or she can be susceptible to tendon pain. Even so, spiritual practice ultimately means practicing acceptance of these "givens," and letting go of attempts to dominate them.)
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My Book is Now Available:
My book,
Anxiety and Depression: 42 Essays on Overcoming the Wild Moods, is for sale as paperback or Kindle.
It is a collection of short essays, focusing on the challenge of managing, and ultimately, uprooting depression and anxiety. You can find a few sample articles here, and can purchase the book on Amazon here.
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Archive of Past Newsletters
All past issues of Tame Your Mood can be found here. |
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Audio Recordings Various audio recordings can be found here. |
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About Marty
I am a San Francisco psychotherapist who helps individuals struggling with anxiety and depression to not only manage these "wild moods," but eventually learn how to overcome them. I work comprehensively with mental, emotional, bodily, and spiritual dimensions and anxiety and depression, all
of which are necessary to overcome the chronic quality of anxiety and depression.
If you are interested in exploring working together in psychotherapy, please contact me at:
415.937.1620,
or email at:
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