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Continuum Care's Guidelines for Grief


A Guide to Grief


Grief is a normal response to loss. It can be the loss of a home, job, marriage or a love one.  Often the most painful loss is the death of a person you love, whether from a long illness or from an accident or an act of violence.


These guides will help you understand the grief you and others may feel after a death, whether sudden or anticipated.  We hope these guides will help you realize that these feelings are not unusual and things can get better.  You are not alone.

 

I will Light Candles this Christmas
by Howard Thurman



I will light Candles this Christmas;


Candles of joy despite all sadness,

 
Candles of hope where despair keeps watch,


Candles of courage for fears ever present,


Candles of peace for tempest-tossed days,

Candles of grace to ease heavy burdens,

Candles of love to inspire all my living,

Candles that will burn all the year long.




Best of the VI 2009 2010


Continuum Care, Inc.

St. Croix
340.718.LOVE (5683) - ph
340.718.7632 - fax

St. Thomas/St. John

340.714.CARE (2273) - ph
340.714.2280 - fax



When Grief Comes Home for the Holidays

If you've recently lost a loved one, your first holiday without them can be like opening up a painful wound all over again. Holidays, which are traditional times to gather together with family and friends, can be a painful reminder of someone who isn't with you anymore.

Take a deep breath. You are not alone. And there are ways to get through this. It will not be simple, easy or carefree. But you can get through it. The sharp edges will start to heal, and then you will find ways to move that healing along a bit more every time an occasion comes up. 

Continuum Care believes in helping our patients, and their families, in every way possible.  Grief counseling is part of Continuum Care's expanded services.  We can provide counseling and referrals upon request. Contact us to further discuss this service, or should you have questions.
 

Coping With Holiday Grief

This time of year there is such a dilemma between the need to grieve and the pressure to get into the spirit of the season. Holiday or not, we encourage you to find ways to take care of yourselves. Here are just a few suggestions that may help.


1. Plan ahead as to where and how you will spend your time during the holidays. Let yourself scale back on activities if you want or need to. Redefine your holiday expectations. This is a year of transition where you will be saying good-bye to some rituals and hello to new ones.


2. Select a candle in your loved one's favorite color and scent. Place it in an area of your home and light it at times that are meaningful to you or have it burning all day long. This can signify the love that lives on in your heart for the person who has died.


3. Please give yourself permission to express your feelings. If you feel the urge to cry, let the rears flow. Tears are healing. It is a proven scientific fact that certain chemicals in our tears are natural pain relievers.


4. Shakespeare once said, "Give sorrow words..." Write a letter to your loved one stating what you are honestly feeling toward him or her at this time of year. After you write it you may place it somewhere for safe keeping, leave it at the memorial site or decide to let go of it in some manner symbolically honoring their passing.


5. When you are especially missing your loved one, call a family member or dear friend and share your feelings. If they knew him or her, consider asking them to share some of their memories of that person. This does not have to be long but a way of honoring the process of saying good-bye and remembering what was.


6. If you live within driving distance of the cemetery, decorate the site with a holiday theme. This can include flowers, garlands, ribbons, evergreens, etc. This year in particular may be a time you may allow yourself to remember and cherish the holiday experiences you had with your loved one. It is also a way to cherish the time with your remaining family members.


7. Play music that is comforting and meaningful to you. Allow yourself a few moments to close your eyes and let the music soothe your spirit.


8. Give money you would have spent for gifts for your loved one to a charity in their name, buy gifts for a child or person who would normally not receive a gift during the holiday time, or dedicate money to a library or dedicate a book in their name.


9. Read a book or article on grief. One suggestion is "Don't Take My Grief Away" by Doug manning. Another is "The Comfort Book For Those Who Mourn" by Anna Trimiew. For those who like C.S. Lewis, read "A Grief Observed"


10. Remember the reality that the anticipation of the holidays without your loved one is often harder than the actual holiday's themselves.


Adapted from "Ten Ways to Cope with Holiday Grief" by L.B. Schultz


Grief and the Holidays

Advice from Hospice Foundation of America



President Obama Signs National Hospice Month Proclamation as the Hospice Community Works to Better Serve Veterans at Life's End
(Alexandria, Va) - In a proclamation issued from the White House, President Obama declared November 2010 as National Hospice Month.
ABOUT CONTINUUM CARE

Hospice is a special kind of caring. Hospice care involves a team oriented approach to expert medical care, pain management and emotional and spiritual support, expressly tailored to the patient's needs and wishes. Support is extended to the patient's loved ones as well.

This approach is what Continuum Care is all about.  Our goal at CCI is to provide care to the terminally ill at home, in a supportive environment in which the patient is alert, free of pain and, along with those that he or she has chosen, makes the decisions regarding care. We are dedicated to making their end-of-life as comfortable and dignified as possible. To date, we have provided end-of-life care to over 1000 patients and their families, many of whom were able to return home from the mainland to be with their loved ones.
 
At the center of hospice is the belief that each of us has the right to die pain-free and with dignity, and that our families will receive the necessary support to allow us to do so. The focus is on caring, not curing.  Hospice is dedicated to making that possible.
 
Hospice services are available to those who can no longer benefit from curative treatment or to those who decide not to pursue or continue treatment. Most hospice patients have a life expectancy of six months and receive their care at their residence.

May Peace be your gift during the Holidays, and your blessing all year through!
With love and best wishes from the
Staff & Management of
Continuum Care Virgin Islands.

Where in the World is Continuum Care?

Can't find us?  We've got a New Home on St. Croix! 
Continuum Care (St. Croix) is now located in the Princesse Professional Center. 
We know you're going to love the convenient, new location.  Call us (718-5683) if
you need additional directions, but we are very easy to find now!

CCI Princesse Plaza