Mayors' Best Buddy Resigns

It was a grey morning in Pleasantville as Mayor Migraine pulled his big blue Rambler Ambassador into his private parking spot. Soon, the other members of council began arriving one by one. They were gathering for yet another emergency meeting.

A month had passed since Ralph Goodbody, the Mayor's best friend since childhood, had resigned from his job as Town Manager of Pleasantville - after only two days on the job!

"No one had really thought that through," offered Snidely S. Disturber, the deputy Mayor. "Of course I knew it was going to be a problem," said Snidely, peering over his rimless glasses and raising himself up on his tip toes to disguise his puny 5' 2" frame, "but everyone else bought into the mayor's need to reward his longtime friend with the plum post of Town Manager."

For sure, Ralph had some of the qualifications necessary. For example, he had taken the H&R Block tax preparation course and had run his own variety store for the previous eight years! And, on top of that, he had been Mayor Migraine's Campaign Manager during his recent successful re-election. No one could argue with that record! Ralph resigned, however, when the whole shamozzle about him being the mayor's best buddy had come out in the Pleasantville Weekender.

Speaking of the Weekender, I guess it was their advertising manager who convinced council that the best way to fill the Town Manager's job was to launch an extensive newspaper advertising campaign. It was at considerable cost, I might add. The caption on the ad read 'EARN TOP BUCKS' and finished with, 'If you are interested, send your resume to Mary Knowseverybody, secretary to the mayor.

Disappointing Ad Results

Within two weeks, several unemployed local residents, who insisted they could do the job, had applied. At least one was adamant that she should get the job because, "after all I am a taxpayer and I do need a job." Then, there was the recently retired high school shop teacher who "was never very happy being a teacher", as well as the former Town Manager from South Pleasantville - a neighbouring town - "fired, yes, but couldn't we give him a chance?"

"I just can't figure it," exclaimed Mayor Migraine to the few council members who, by now, had had enough coffee to wake them up at such an ungodly hour. "We have a good town and nice people live here ... you'd think all sorts of well qualified men and women would be glad to send in their resumes. You would think that, wouldn't you?" No one answered.

The mayor apparently hadn't figured out that it is most often unhappy or unemployed people who read the career section of the newspaper. And, even if some really great candidates were to see the ad, why would they risk their reputations and careers by sending a reply to someone named Mary Knowseverybody? "Could they possibly be aware that she's the president of the local chapter of Gossipers International," wondered Mayor Migraine?

So, here they were again, gathered for the third emergency council meeting in as many weeks. "Anybody got any ideas?" asked the mayor. He was good at asking questions - but not much for offering suggestions.

"What about running a bigger ad?" offered Councillor Dumas. "If it were any bigger, it would take up the entire business section," someone mumbled.

Town Hires Recruiter

"I was thinking we should let my sister-in-law do some looking for us," shouted Councillor Nerdstrom. "Of course I would have to recuse myself from the vote. But she's got that personnel business over at the mall there, and I hear she has some pretty happy customers ... I mean, she did get my wife a job at the laundromat!" he added.

Then one of the newer council members, Willy Wisdom, made what would turn out to be one of the wisest suggestions ever offered at any council meeting in Pleasantville history (or anywhere else for that matter). "I think we should call Ravenhill Group. They actually specialize in working with municipalities just like ours. I met one of the new Town Managers they just recruited at a recent municipal conference ... he's as sharp as a tack, and I hear his town is thrilled with his work.

"That's right!" added Councillor Brightastheycome. "I've heard great things about Ravenhill, too," and he added, pulling out his wallet, "Lets call them today. In fact, I have a business card right here ... let me see ... yes ... it's Bruce Malcolm we want to call! His toll free number is 1-877-830-0500. Let's call him right now ... it says extension 727."

"Hey!" he continued, "There's a note on the card that says 'Write or call today for a FREE Summary of How We Work: What it Will Cost and How Long It Will Take.

Suddenly, for the first time the mayor could remember, every last council member was wide awake and, when the mayor asked for a show of hands, it was unanimous. The deputy mayor was tasked with making the call.

Eight short weeks later, it was the first meeting of council with the new Town Manager. "Ladies and gentlemen," proclaimed the Mayor, "it is my pleasure to introduce our new Town Manager, Mr. Reilly Sharpe. I would like to propose that we proclaim the month of September 'Ravenhill Month' here in Pleasantville - you know, in recognition of the great job they did in finding Reilly ... all those in favour?"

And the 'ayes' carried the day!