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Last week I began to share some lessons I recently learned from shoulder surgery. The first lesson was how to ask for and accept offers of help. The second is how to shift sights from one goal to another without wasting energy on regret.
The lesson began last year with Tiffany, a woman in our marathon training class. Tiffany started out training for a 26.2-mile goal. After a month or so, her legs were crying, "not this year!" Without skipping a beat, Tiffany shifted her energy from training to support. She organized and staffed weekly water stations for the four remaining months.
I was amazed! I imagined myself in a similar situation withdrawing entirely...avoiding any reminders of the goal I was forced to abandon. I did not think I could replace a personal goal with the goal of serving others.
Fast forward! The iconic Grandma's Marathon in Duluth, MN had been on my radar for a long time. When friend Mari and I looked for a race (her first half marathon and the 13th state for my tally), we decided on Grandma's. We entered the lottery in February, and we got in. Friends Mike and Elaine offered us a place to stay. We trained and were ready to run.
Then there was pain! A chronic shoulder issue turned acute overnight. After surgery a week later, I was directed to stop running for 6 weeks. I would not be able to race.
As I faced the disappointment, I remembered Tiffany. Her example encouraged me to convert the energy of training to the energy of support. I could enjoy the trip, the visit with friends, and the happy glow of helping Mari achieve her goal. It all came together last weekend.
We had a great time cruising around vendor booths at the expo, listening to celebrity speakers, and eating pasta. I shuttled Mari to the bus before dawn, tracked her progress on my phone, and snapped her picture at the finish line. We drove up the Lake Superior shoreline and found a funky Irish pub for a celebratory microbrew.
In the process, I learned a lesson about shifting sights. I love aiming and preparing for goals of all kinds. Over the years I have struggled to be a good sport when the unexpected changed my plans. This time, I learned not only to gracefully accept disappointment, but also to aim for a new and attainable goal. And I learned that the goal does not have to be "about me."
What are your experiences with sight-shifting? How have you re-focused your energy when life "is just a bowl of lemons" (instead of cherries)? When have you supported someone else's goal and found it as rewarding as attaining your own?
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