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This week I am celebrating a major milestone. On May 2, I had rotator cuff surgery; on June 12, the doctor told me to ditch the sling. I am still giddy with freedom.
It is fitting for me to celebrate by sharing the good news in Reflections. First, I am just beginning to type pain-free, two-handed, with capital letters and punctuation. Second, six weeks of post-operative challenge have provided substantial grist for the reflection mill. I look forward to sharing my experiences and to hearing about your encounters with limitation and adjustment.
The long-standing habit of writing a journal, reflecting on life events offered me helpful perspective. In addition, my wellness coach training, and its emphasis on framing life in positive terms, was a lifesaver.
Each month, I choose a personal wellness theme specific to the challenges I foresee. In May, the theme was "Lemonade out of Lemons." Under that heading, I listed "Less doing, more being; less giving, more receiving; less producing, more learning; less independence, more interdependence. The last of these was the most urgent, undeniable, and difficult of all.
Somewhere in early childhood, I internalized the drive to "do it myself." I shop at a store where their offer to wheel food to the car triggers my self-righteous retort, "NO THANKS, I need the exercise." "Are you SURE?" YES THANKS" and, silently, "do I REALLY look like a helpless old lady?".
The past month has transformed me! Navigating the cart, lifting the tailgate, and lifting packages out of the basket were awkward and painful and the help was wonderful. I also enjoyed connecting with the helper, finding out a little about them, and wishing them well. I now see accepting the offer of grocery help as a
gracious gesture of interdependence even when, indeed, "I can do it myself."
Beyond the grocery store, opportunities to ask for and accept offers of help abounded over the last month. In the process, I began to appreciate the value of being connected. I saw how my independence distances me from others. Self-sufficiency also frees me from the call to reciprocity. However, the more I received help, the better I was able to see needs in others; furthermore, the more I welcomed help, the more I was inspired to offer my own, connecting (however briefly) where need and offer meet with love.
'Lemonade out of lemons" was a rich and meaningful theme for May. I look forward to sharing some more "lemonade recipes" over the next few weeks. Please let me
hear about yours!
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