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I have long idealized the simplicity of monastic life: no personal possessions, a single bed, desk, chair, one outfit of clothing, a prescribed schedule. It seems in my romantic view as if many things I find painful and difficult would go away if only I had less clutter to deal with. That view drew me to the Lenten practices in Simplifying the Soul by Paula Huston.
The first week of Huston's Lenten practice calls for simplifying space: cleaning out a "junk drawer," and giving away something that has sentimental value. I learned a lot by reflecting on sentimental value while sorting through cards and letters, photographs, awards, and other signs of past times.
My ego leans entirely on the past. It goes through the boxes, noting that I have run races, read books, earned degrees, climbed mountains, traveled, and attended the senior prom. I define myself and evaluate my worth in those terms, and at some level I fear that I will forget and perhaps even lose something intrinsically "me" if I give things away.
On another level, my spirit knows that only the present moment is real. The events and experiences of the past are not. They draw my attention away from the present, and cause me to get lost in what-once-was. It's hard to release a reminder of past joy, but I feel a little lighter after I do.
As we age, the collections of the years expand. They become bulky and heavy. They fill our space, our minds, and our hearts. The monastic ideal retreats into the ever-more impossible distance--or maybe not.
I still value the ideal of living with a lighter touch. I aspire to reducing cravings and letting go of attachments. I want to create more mental and physical space, release control, and enjoy the moment. I want less to clean, less to organize, less to fear losing. I am grateful for the first tiny steps in Simplifying the Soul.
What is your relationship to mementoes? Do you bring beautiful experiences forward in the person you are today-without clinging tightly to trinkets from the past? What have you learned from cleaning out junk drawers, attics, and garages over the years?
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