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How to Be More Like My Dad
Exclusive for the Coach Darcy Community
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| Greetings! |
This month's article takes inspiration from my own Dad, Jack Eikenberg. Of course, it may be a little indulgent on my part to write this with Father's Day fast approaching. Maybe it's my way to better express my respect and appreciation in addition to my love. Or maybe it's just a lame way to get around the challenges of buying yet another Father's Day gift that sits on the shelf in a few months.
Whichever it is, I hope you enjoy these thoughts and I welcome your reactions. (Speaking of gifts, I'd love to help you give something back to your father or father-ful person in your life. Read more about my special Dad's Day Career Toolbox offer for the career seeker or changer in your life!)
Happy Father's Day to all the dads and those who play dad-like roles for family and friends in the Coach Darcy community. We love you! Enjoy!
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| How to Be More Like My Dad |
 After sharing advice my dad gave me with one of my coaching clients, the client sighed and said, "I wish I could be more like your dad."
I smiled and moved on, but the thought stuck in my head. How would someone become more like my dad exactly? Would they really want to be? (Mom, you can't answer that.) I then realized that during this unsettling time in our world, the stable, consistent qualities I admire most in my dad do indeed deserve modeling in so many work and life situations.
So, for the purposes of this article and in honor of Father's Day, here are four ways you, too, (and hopefully me, too) could be more like my dad.
1. Stay positive. No matter what's happening, it's rare that we see my Dad down-in-the-dumps. In fact, for years the end of his outgoing voicemail message chirrped "Stay positive!" But that doesn't mean he's never had opportunity to feel sad or low--believe me, we've given him multiple opportunities. It's just that he chooses to look at events through an optimistic, positive framework.
He's likely onto something. Research in the Journal of Psychology and Aging showed that people with an upbeat view of life were less likely than pessimists to show signs of frailty as they age. Healthy thoughts equal healthy lives. So, since we all may need to work several years longer to rebuild our 401ks, I'm staying positive.
2. Be generous and cheap. My dad and consumer guru Clark Howard would probably be great buddies if they met. Clark's motto is to help folks "save more, spend less, and not get ripped off." Ditto for my Dad. In fact, both he and Clark have been accused of being, ah, well, cheap.
But that word doesn't exactly fit. My dad's generous with the things that support his values--his time, ideas, laughter, encouraging words during a hard time. Not to mention he's generous with a pour of a wine at the end of a long day.
If the item or experience in question isn't tied to his values, he chooses cheap. If it supports his values, he chooses generosity. To make those distinctions, I now realize he's clear on what he values--and what he doesn't. Imagine how much simpler our decisions could be when we have our values straight.
3. Get involved. One of the things I enjoy watching in my dad's retired years is his ability and willingness to get involved. Whether it's the local hospital board, the soup kitchen, or the community advisory board, getting involved lets him invest his talents and skills in organizations that need them.
But involvement also jolts him with additional energy and learning opportunities that wouldn't appear in any other way. Even though involvement can sometimes be draining, he uses it to learn and connect to new ideas as well as contribute. The payoff is often worth the investment.
4. Find a great partner to share your dreams. Somehow in the scant pickings of Rome, New York almost 47 years ago, my dad found my mom. (There are columns to write lauding her, too, but hey, one at a time.) She's been the critical partner in the business of creating and running a great life.
Today, even if you are lucky enough to have an awesome life partner or family, there are a wealth of other partners available to support you along the way. Coaches, teachers, and other advisors encourage you to see possibilities, help you plan actions, hold you accountable for moving forward and celebrating with you when you succeed along the way. (The latter is my favorite part!)
Even with a great family to encourage me, I still invest in coaching and mentoring on a regular basis. It helps me grow faster, break old habits and open my eyes to new perspectives. My dad's generation didn't have this kind of support like we do now. Maybe that's one way he wishes he could be more like me! |
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Just in Time for Dad's Day: Give Him Tools He'll Really Use!
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Do you struggle each year with what to give your father (or the father-figure in your life) for Father's Day? Books, golf stuff, wine--yes, that's all nice, but what does he really want? I just figured it out. TOOLS!!!
But not necessarily the kind that sit in the garage and get used once or twice in a burst of manly energy. Give Dad the tools that can help change his work and career--and in turn, his life.
If the special dad in your life could use a career tuneup, consider investing in Coach Darcy's Dad's Day Career Toolbox. For more details, costs, and to sign up today, visit this special page on my website or call 404.313.0278.
***SPECIAL FOR THE COACH DARCY COMMUNITY***
in honor of my own amazing Dad, the first three people to purchase a Toolbox will receive two additional 30-minute coaching sessions. Add them to Dad's Toolbox--or use them for yourself!
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| Missed My Earlier Newsletters? |
You asked for it, so here are links to my 2009 newsletters--
Like what you've read? Pass it on! My goal is to have at least 1000 people reading before 2009 ends. But I need your help!
You're Welcome to Use and Share!
We invite you to use content from any of these newsletters in your organization's publication or as a handout at a special event. Just include the following text in its entirety:
Darcy Eikenberg of Coach Darcy LLC helps aspiring leaders make the leap to leadership in ways that work both for them and their organizations. To learn more, receive her newsletter and be part of the Coach Darcy Community, visit www.coachdarcy.com/ .
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| Find Out More and Connect Today! |
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There are actually a lot more than four ways I could be more like my dad, but your email inbox only has so much space, so I'll resist! In the meantime, thanks for reading these slightly self-indulgent--but hopefully useful--lessons I've learned from my dad.
Who's inspiring you these days? I love to hear your stories. Just email me or visit me on LinkedIn, Facebook, or Twitter to tell me who they are and what they're doing that's so inspiring. Perhaps your or your inspiration will sneak into these pages in the future!!
In the meantime, let's celebrate our dads, granddads, and all who've been fatherly to us! Thanks for being part of the Coach Darcy Community!
Darcy Eikenberg
Coach Darcy LLC
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P.S. Your Referrals Wanted! |
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Are there individuals or organizations in your circle who are facing challenges in their work and career? If so, I'd love to share how coaching could benefit them and would value your referral.
My work is a good fit for professional people managing through major change, wanting to move up faster, or those wanting to make a change but feeling "stuck." I also can benefit companies and leaders seeking new ways to motivate employees, managers, and teams, especially those whose work is critical to the business' success.
I am happy to reach out to your referred friend, colleague, or family member on your request, or they can contact me directly by email or phone at 404.313.0278. Thanks for your support! | |
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