Planning Your Rest-of-Life: Take the Next Step

But we'll only feel worse if we do nothing, and we'll feel better if we do something, so let's take the next step.

We don't need to do everything at once - we're planning our rest-of-life, which, if we do a good job, might last 20, 30 or even 40 years. We have the time to take things one step at a time.

Here's a list to help you get started. Even if you've been thinking about these issues for awhile, you can always take the next step. Pick one or two of these to do during the holidays.

Make a list of your hopes and dreams for your rest-of-life. Share and discuss your list with your spouse, partner, closest friends and/or relatives. In my workshops, I commonly hear such goals as: "Have enough money to do what I want" or "Enjoy good health." These are very desirable goals, but they're really "enablers" that should be a means to an end. Include them in your list, but I encourage you to think beyond these more standard goals and add aspirations that capture your imagination, such as "Make a difference in our grandchildren's lives" or "Volunteer for my passion" or "Travel the world and experience different cultures."

Acknowledge any unfinished business in your life and act on it. Did you always want to paint, sing or play a musical instrument? Go to Italy? Reach out to a close friend or relative who's been estranged from you? Now's the time to promise yourself to do something about it. Years from now, you don't want to be on your deathbed, thinking "I always wish I had ..." So what can you do now to avoid this fate?

Make a list of your fears and concerns about the future. The most common fears are not having enough money, having poor health, being lonely and needing to move into a nursing home in your later years. Maybe you have your own special concerns to add to this list. Express them now, and vow to take steps to address them. Worry is not preparation - you'll feel better with solid plans in place to prevent these things from happening or mitigating their effects if they do. It's human nature to have fears and concerns, but don't let them hold you back from pursuing your hopes and dreams.

Rethink retirement. I like to define retirement as the time to do more of what you like to do and less of what you don't like to do. Make a list of each, and think about concrete ways you can make them happen.

Identify your support group. This can include your spouse, adult children, close friends, relatives or work associates -- people who care about you and are affected by your well-being. Social research shows that the best way to change ingrained habits is to surround yourself with people who want you to succeed and provide good examples to follow. If you have older friends or relatives who are living well in their later years, ask them how they got there. Take their advice and imitate them! If you see them during the holidays, now's a good time to reach out.

Form your team of professional advisors. That can include your accountant, tax preparer, financial advisor, insurance agent, the most helpful contact at your HR department, your medical professional and so on. Share your lists of hopes and dreams and fears and concerns with them. Ask them for ideas and references to good books, websites and resources. Many of you will be seeing your tax preparer during the first three months of 2009, so start preparing your lists and questions now.

Identify how you'll fill your knowledge gaps. Do you plan to move? Then buy one of the excellent books available on retirement living. Need to learn more about financial issues or improve your health? There are lots of great books, publications and websites to learn from. Our website has a list of my favorite resources. Add some to your Christmas list!

Psychologists debate the most effective ways to change ingrained life habits - fear of bad consequences vs. a positive picture in your mind of how good life can be. I don't debate this question - I don't leave anything to chance and use both! Look at your list of fears and concerns; feel the fear, but don't be paralyzed. Instead, use your fear to motivate you to make necessary changes in your life, so these fears and concerns won't hold you back.

Then picture in your mind how good life can be five, ten, fifteen and twenty years from now. Imagine being on your deathbed and thinking "I've had a great life and I'm ready to cash out." Now come back to today and identify the steps you need to take during the next several years to get there.

The holiday season can be a good time to reflect and discuss things with your support group. If you're bored at the next family holiday gathering, light up the day by asking some of the questions in this newsletter. "What gives you the greatest joy?" For many people, it's finding the right balance between connecting with friends and family, being helpful and useful in your community (however you define it), and enjoying life. But you might be surprised by the answers you get. Or ask "What are you afraid of?" And "How can we help each other?"

I recently spoke with a good friend of mine, Sally Hass, who's an independent consultant on workplace life planning education. She has put a lot of thought into rest-of-life, both for her and her clients. As Sally puts it, "A successful and secure retirement takes more than money. As part of this holiday season, why not create a new tradition that helps someone, improves your health or connects you to your community? Let's be thankful for what we have and all the things we can do to improve our future."

In spite of what's happening in financial markets, I truly believe that now is a good time to be aging and approaching our retirement years. There's a lot of medical research that shows us how to be vital in our later years and minimize the odds of contracting expensive, debilitating conditions. Social research gives us insights into living happy, fulfilled lives. People of all means have access to effective financial products and services. And it's easier to access this information through the internet and other modern forms of communications. All of these weren't available 20 to 30 years ago, when many of our parents retired. It's up to us to take advantage of these valuable resources, so we can build the life we want.

Give yourself the best gift this holiday season. Take the next step!