Driven to Meet Myself
Mention Jesus' temptation in the wilderness, and I think of the dialog about turning stones into bread and Satan's suggestion that Jesus throw himself down from the pinnacle of temple. Matthew and Luke provide those details.
Mark does not. Mark, the most compact of the gospels, reports the temptation in one sentence. After his baptism, Mark writes, Jesus was "driven" into the wilderness by the Spirit. "He was in the wilderness forty days, tempted by Satan; and he was with the wild beasts; and the angels waited on him" (Mk 1:13, NRSV). Despite its brevity, there is wisdom to be found here for the wilderness periods of our life and for our annual journey through Lent.
The Holy Spirit is not always, at least not immediately, a Comforter. Sometimes the Spirit drives us to uncomfortable places, places we would rather not go. Illness, grief and struggle: like it or not, that may be where the Spirit has led us - or driven us - for our own growth in faith, in wisdom, and in compassion.
New York City writer Elizabeth Greenwood tells of attending a writers' retreat in a remote rural location. A true city girl, she was at first terrified in the country. She could not get used to the quiet; she lay awake at night fearing wild animals. Early one morning, walking alone in the woods (because she could not sleep), all the words she had struggled to find - without success, while sitting at her computer - suddenly came to her. Forced to go deep and confront her fears, she also encountered the depths of her creativity. In the future, Greenwood writes, if given a choice of locations for a retreat, "I'll go with the place that seems the least like me - so I can go and meet myself there."
Jesus met himself in the wilderness. Although tempted by Satan and surrounded by wild beasts, Jesus learned that he was not abandoned by God; even there "angels waited on him." In our spiritual journey this Lent, may we truly meet ourselves, truly come to know the temptations that beset us, the "wild beasts" that threaten us, and the angels who are always with us, even in difficult times. |
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-- Bill |
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Driven to Do what I Hate - by Jan
"I do not understand what I do; for I don't do what I would like to do,
but instead I do what I hate." Romans 7:15
Perhaps you remember the story of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. Jekyll, the good personality, and Hyde, the deficient personality, were both in the same individual. In spite of Jekyll's best intentions, Hyde sometimes took over in terrible ways that Jekyll did not want. The story parallels the experience that seems imbedded in the quote from Romans. Most likely, it also parallels our own experience. We notice a split within ourselves. Two opposite parts of us never quite come together and it seems to us that we are helpless to do much about it. What is the answer?
"What an unhappy man I am! Who will rescue me from this body that is taking me to death? Thanks be to God, who does this through our Lord Jesus Christ!" (Rom 7:24-25). For Paul, it is the power of Jesus that leads us back to wholeness. The growth toward wholeness begins when we rely on the healing power of God which is given to those who ask. The process is a gradual one, but God is patient. And we must be patient too.
The things I don't want to do, I do. I feel the split within myself.
Lord, heal the division within me, but teach me to be patient
with the healing process, as you yourself are patient.
Excerpted from Focus Your Day: Reflections on Christian Experience by Kenneth E. Grabner, C.S.C. Copyright 1992 by Ave Maria Press, P.O. Box 428, Notre Dame, IN 46556. Used with permission of the publisher.
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