Trust Issues in Relationships
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Trust is the bonding force in any intimate relationship and precedes
love itself. Even when someone loves you deeply, they can break your
trust and leave you shattered. Trust builds very slowly but
can be lost completely in a moment. It's a very tender force.
This article addresses three topics - How do you identify
trust issues in relationships, what are its causes and how to build
trust in a relationship. Having a relationship with a partner who has
trust issues can be annoying and frustrating but it is important
that you take steps towards resolving these issues.
Signs of trust issues in relationships:
Your partner gets overly possessive
- If you sense that your
partner is exhibiting highly possessive behavior asking you questions
and details of every nuance of your life outside their vision, clearly, this
indicates that they have issues with trusting your loyalty.
Jealousy that leads to violent outbursts
- Getting overly jealous
about inconsequential happenings like you going out with a group of
colleagues for lunch can be signs of mistrust. Temper tantrums and
abusive outbursts can signal jealous behavior.
Intrusion into your communications
- It is very annoying to have
your partner keeping tabs on all your messages, texts and
emails. This kind of a behavior is highly symptomatic of a person who
lacks trust in his/her partner.
Your partner starts playing the role of a detective
- Do you feel
like you are being followed or stalked by your partner? This is quite
common in extreme cases of mistrust. Sometimes your partner might even
drop into to your office without warning just to check up on you. This
type of behavior obviously signals significant trust issues.
Why do trust issues develop in a relationship?
Lack of self esteem - People who have many insecurities about
themselves are prone to have trust issues in their relationships. This may be because they have trouble believing that they could actually have a loyal partner. They sometimes believe that their partner is cheating on them because they are not
good enough.
Trust issues in a previous relationship
- If your partner has been betrayed in a previous relationship, there is
a real possibility that he/she has not yet overcome the pain of it and
may be projecting fears onto the present relationship. Regaining
trust in relationships does take time.
Anxiety
- How do you build trust in a relationship
when your inherent nature is prone to anxiety? If you are always
expecting the worst, there is little room for anything positive in your
life. People with anxiety can live in fear about
what the future might reveal to them. It is important to separate fears/anxiety from the facts about your partner.
How to build trust in a relationship:
Communicate as effectively as possible
- One of the causes of loss
of trust is lack of communication. Keep your partner informed of your
activities, and provide reassurance when needed.
Don't get too busy to say "I love you"
- Be open about your
loving feelings toward your partner. Let him/her know how much they mean to you.
Small words of love can pacify the most insecure hearts and play a role
in resolving relationship trust issues.
Seek to understand first
- Maybe your partner is anxious or
overly possessive, but understand that their behavior has roots in
their past experiences. Try to understand the reasons for their
insecurities and alleviate them to the best of your ability.
Don't break their trust
- The last thing you want to do is break
your partner's trust when they are already having a hard time trusting
you. False promises, white lies or miscommunications can break
the fragile trust that is developing. Be loyal and show your love
toward your partner so there is never a question of mistrust.
In conclusion, trust issues in relationships develop for various reasons
but what's important is how you deal with them - understanding, patience
and good communication can resolve these
issues over time.
For more on trust and relationships - click here to view a previous newsletter.
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