Sometimes gratitude comes in unexpected packages.

This evening Mary and I went to see a sweet young man play in a Youth Symphony group. Stay with me on this one, I'll make it worth your while.

Conor is the child of a friend of ours and he plays violin for the Bangor Youth Symphony Orchestra. Two years ago he asked that instead of gifts for Christmas, that those who had him on their gift list instead donate to Heifer International. I knew I was gonna like him then. He and his bandmates were dressed up in the traditional garb for performing teens and preteens. Pressed white shirt, black pants.  Black ties for boys, the outlaws went with no tie. I had a bit of Déjà vu. I remember the nervousness, the overwhelming thought that I was going to screw up in front of a million people.  Tonight I saw it from a different perspective. I saw all of the lessons that were taught with this rite of passage.

First, a group of 4 nervous kids played in a string quartet. Then all of the strings. Then the whole band. They played the standard classical fare. Then they played the cool song that all the band kids wanted (Fireflies by Owl City....not familiar with it? That's ok all the kids were). They struggled to keep in tune and follow the conductor. But the music had a lively quality that only familiarity with the work can bring. They liked this song and it showed.  

But now that my own kids are grown and I go back to see this with a bit more distance, not worried about how my own kids are holding up or frustrated by going out to buy the white shirt the day before the concert....I see the role this night plays.  In a time where we are most self conscious, it makes us go out in front of an audience.  It never occurred to me at 14 or 15 that the audience was probably going to cheer us no matter what.  I was sure they were going to boo as soon as I hit the wrong note.  Fact is, I played percussion, so I didn't even have notes to hit. They were our friends, our families, our community. It was pretty safe. We were our own worst critics. Not much different from the things that hold us back as adults.

The experience of the song choice, the white and black outfits, the adults clapping, the size of the venue, the discomfort of the group in the spotlight were all pretty much exactly what I had felt 30 years ago. Now that I write this, I realize it was the same time I volunteered at the county shelter. The lessons to learn though seem so obvious now...

1)The group sits in a roped off place and talks nervously before the performance-you  are in the same boat with these kids around you. There is a common humanity that pulls you together. It doesn't matter that that one is a girl and one is the kid you didn't like in social studies. You are in the same boat now.

2)The lights are on you. 1,2,3 go-there are times in your life when no talking or avoidance will stop the fact that you need to do something.  You will use this if you are an accountant, a fireman, the guy at Best Buy or a veterinarian.

3)You are on the stage making music-your instrument is but one in a bigger orchestra.  If you make a mistake, the momentum of the piece and sound of bigger instruments will probably obscure it. That is unless you are doing a solo. If you are doing a solo, you better have some confidence.

4)When you are done, rise and take a bow-people need an opportunity to show their gratitude.

5)Follow the conductor-failure to do so will make you stand out a lot. Plus it will mess up the music. This is not as important if you are the soloist. But you know that, because you are the confident one in the group anyway. There is a difference between confidence and arrogance. Figure that difference out quickly.  It will behoove you and the band in the long run.

6)Mozart was a smart guy-anyone who has tried to play his work knows this. Respect your elders because they can write stuff like that that kids like you will play for many years to come.

7)Smile when you hear Barber of Seville-if you are wondering why you are smiling, click on the link above the picture. I don't care how old you are, that is funny.

 

So as we approach Thanksgiving this year I am grateful to be part of a community that cheers kids on to do their best.  Some kids are passionate about playing, some kids are there because their parents made them go. But either way, there are a lot of lessons to learn. You'll find more of them if you are passionate about playing though.

 

At Thanksgiving we are most grateful for those in our life (2 and 4 legged) that make our lives have deeper meaning.