Most agreed that Jeremy Eagle was a two tissue box email, whereas Riley Grace was definitely a three. That means that it would require two tissue boxes to wipe the tears after reading Jeremy's story, although I suspect some of you needed an extra box to clean up the pee when they saw the picture of me circa 1982.

 

In my defense, it was the 80's.

 

So for those of you who have found some of my emails too emotional...let me get you back into the fold.

 

But first, let me tell you a couple things I left out in the last email.

 

First, I'm proud to announce that Team Kindred Spirits has raised over $3,200 dollars so far for Paws on Parade, which will happen on October 9th. We currently have 47 people walking. I look forward to seeing you all there. Thank those of you who have raised money and have given money. Your participation will make a difference for the homeless pets in our area.

 

Secondly, our technician Karen had her baby and both baby (Joseph), mom and dad are home snuggling.

 

Now, for my fond memories of veterinary school.

 

Remember, in this story, the patient lives.
Veterinary school was intense, and there were many things that I learned in that formative time. But it was also sometimes humorous.  A few rotations after Small Animal Medicine was Large Animal Medicine. Now I don't talk a lot about my large animal experience, mostly because I knew early on that I personally wanted to work on smaller patients. Nevertheless, as a licensed veterinarian, I was trained in both large and small animal care.
The professor for Large Animal Medicine was a small woman with a ponytail and an attitude. She swore like a sailor and walked leaning forward with a very wide masculine stance. Her specialty was small ruminants, which are creatures with multiple chambered stomachs like a cow. Their GI tract works in a very cow-like way in that there are teeming with microorganisms that break down the cellulose in the grass or hay that they eat.  Our professor was brilliant at understanding how the ruminants, both large and small functioned....even if she was a little comical.
We had 6 students and one of the cases we worked on was a cow from the farm of a very well known whiskey producer. She announced the case in the morning, it would be at the clinic by that afternoon. This was an extremely valuable beef cow that was a downer. 

 I'm not misspelling this, its an actual word. A downer cow is one that has collapsed, most commonly in late pregnancy or early lactation with low calcium. This is one of those opportunities for the closest thing we have for magic in veterinary medicine.
James Herriott wrote colorfully about treating downer cows with a shot of calcium and a smack in the rear. Usually when that approach does not work, the cow is sent to the slaughterhouse early.  That would be reason 392 why I am not a large animal vet.
This cow was different. It had very valuable genetics and the owner, who was the CEO of a very large company believed that if anyone could get this cow up, it was our professor.  In each rotation there are 4-6 students. In this rotation, there were 6 of us. We discussed the possibilities in rounds before the cow came.  We would treat the cow supportively, by lifting it several times daily to stimulate and repair the damaged muscle tissue from being prostrate. We would use different nutrition, give her frequent calcium and selenium.

 

Later that day, she arrived. Large brown eyes looking at us, she lay in the back of a trailer.
We placed straps under her and dragged her out. We were ready with the injections and had placed pulleys on the metal beams across the barn to lift her up. Each day for the first 2 days we put our treatment plan into effect. At the end of the second day though, there was no improvement.  She was still down. Each day that she was down the weight of her body on her little legs caused more damage. In rounds that morning, someone came up with the idea of hydrotherapy.
Just like in people, hydrotherapy involves moving water to stimulate circulation and elimination of waste products in our bodies.  In us it can be as easy as a hottub. For our patient, we would have to figure out something else.  As it worked out, the veterinary college had a hydrotherapy tank for horses and cows.
First we had to figure out how to get the cow in the tank and then how to get the water moving.  The technicians showed us the set up. We could use the same pulleys we had placed to get her up, but we were to use chains because we would have to suspend her high enough to lower her into the tank. Once in the tank, we would use a large hose with a vacuum essentially set on reverse to circulate the water on her oxygen deprived muscles.
It seemed like a good idea.

We missed one key detail.

Some of you may have seen this coming, but it turns out that a cow produces a large amount of feces.
If that cow is lifted in the air, you can multiply that volume by at least 3.
Then, if you lower that cow into a tank of water....well...you see where I'm going with this.
4 students raise the cow by pulling on the chains simultaneously. This takes some coordination, but the learning curve has to be fast because there is nothing that makes a cow less happy than raising it in the air.

Twice daily we would raise the cow, put it in the water and spray it with the hoses.  The students in the rear of the cow either on rising or during hydrotherapy, drew the proverbial short stick.
We rotated out of compassion for each other. Deals were made. Our currency was largely skipped hydrotherapy or beer. So a typical day would go like this...
"You get the rear today and you can skip tonight's session.
"I don't know man"
"OK, you get the rear today, skip tonight, and I buy you a beer Saturday night. "
"Oh, all right"
My most vivid picture from that rotation was the second time we raised the cow. Dr. Ponytail came in just as we were lifting the cow and pushing it over the tank. About that same time, feces began to plop on the (petite young lady) student who had drawn the short straw.  Just then she turned around to a sea of swear words from the professor who wanted us to get the #$%ing cow in the #$%ing tank before she s#$% anymore.  The student turned around, feces on her shoulder, and said with desperation in her voice..."We are TRYING REALLY HARD ma'am."
1 week later the unthinkable happened. We came in for the morning treatment and the cow was standing, munching on hay, looking indifferent.  We sent her home and received 1 case of premium whisky for our trouble.

 

I think the teeny vet student might have drank it all though.

 

Nicole starts her large animal surgery rotation next.

 

I'm thinking I might not tell her this story.