The next stop on my life's adventures was very happy. I was adopted by a terrific family with kids and dogs and they were very good to me. I wasn't in a cage most of the time and I got some really good food. I loved being with them.
The kids were really nice to me and I pretended not to like them but I really did. I didn't like some of their friends though when they came over but the family always protected me from these little varmints.
One time we took a car trip and they actually took me along. We were in the car for a long time and I got really bored but I did like not being left at home. At night we would sleep in a tent and that was kind of scary. I could hear crickets and other noises that made me think there might be big scary animals out there ready to eat me.
I lived with this family for a long time. I watched the kids grow up and start to go away. I don't know where they went but I would only see them once in awhile. I missed them.
Then one day there was a lot of crying and everyone was upset. I was upset too because I didn't know what was wrong.
A lady came and took me and my cage and I never saw the family again. I really missed them.
My next home was awful. I was in a small cage in a pet shop. I didn't have any toys, my cage was small and I never got let out either. The food was crummy and very often the water was yucky. Then people would come and say stupid things like "Polly wants a cracker". My name isn't Polly; in fact I'm a boy. I decided that this was a good time to pluck all my feathers where I could reach.
Finally some people came and took me and my cage to their office. They said they were fosters, whatever that means. It was okay but I didn't have a window to look out of and I was alone a lot.
One day some women came to meet me. One of them brought her husband back to see if they could take me home. They took me to their house and that's where I am still today. I live with a whole lot of small birds, but I really do like them as long as they don't get too near. I have the lady and man thinking that I'm mean and they are afraid I'll bite them. Hehehehe, this way they won't try to pick me up. I hate being picked up.
I am fed great food, lots of good seeds, nuts, fruits and veggies. I don't have to go into my cage at night, but I can if I want to and I love that. I go in when those pesky little birds bother me and it keeps me from biting them. I have had many adventures and I like being fed, warm and loved. My woman slave even tells me I'm pretty. I don't pluck much anymore (just enough to keep my perfect body look), but my feathers won't grow back since I plucked them for so long. I am happy, well at least as happy as a blue and gold macaw can be at 80 some years of age.
This is where I've learned to use the computer and write this column. So now my tale is done and PLEASE SEND ME QUESTIONS FOR NEXT MONTH to