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The Keys to Effective Listening
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 If you want to succeed in any job that involves interacting with people, you need great listening skills. It can be with clients, customers, patients, co-workers, bosses, student or vendors. One of the most harmful things you can do to compromise good listening is to impose judgment on the person you are communicating with.
When you ask "why" somebody did something, one thing to bear in mind is that the word "why" often implies a judgment. Even if you don't intend to do this, the word "why" is often used as a "Why did you do that?" and it has a "Boy that was stupid" implication. Even if your intentions are innocent and you really just want to know why someone made a decision a certain way, the recipient of your question is likely to react defensively if you use the word "why" as a question.
Instead, something like, "Tell me more about what made you choose that action" is a much less judgmental way of saying "Why" and it encourages the recipient to open up and share their reasoning. Then listen to what they have to say. Collect the facts. Knowing how to identify the facts and separate them from interpretations and reactions is key to effective listening. Read more...
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