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Shocked, Horrified, Embittered, Helpless
There are few words that effectively describe my feelings since last Friday's rampage at Sandy Hook Elementary School.
Shocked. Horrified. Embittered. Hopeless.
Shocked - Like every other parent in America I believed that children were safe while in school. I dropped my own children at the school doors everyday and except for worrying about teasing and test results I assumed they were out of harms way until 3pm. Even though this has happened so many times before, we always move on. If it is not our children, after a period of sadness we move on with our lives.
Horrified - The feeling that something has got to be done to stop this from happening again is overwhelming. As we listen to the news coverage and weep with empathy for those children, teachers and parents, we continue to support a culture of violence. We buy violent video games and pay to see movies with overt violence and often include children in these forms of "entertainment". (how many of you have purchased video games as Christmas gifts that promote violence as fun?)
Guns and violence, from westerns, to police detective shows, even super hero cartoons have been a part of our culture for decades, Does that mean it must remain this way?
Embittered - After every violent incident where multiple innocent victims lives are taken, we settle into the gun control bickering. If we take automatic weapons away, the killer would not have been able to commit this atrocity - if we just armed the teachers, movie attendants, post office employees, store clerks, you fill in the job title, they could have defended themselves or the killer might not have had the courage to make the attack at all. I am so frustrated with the gun control response because nothing ever comes of it and there is little that I alone can do to make a difference in this national argument.
Hopeless - For a minute, yes, I felt hopeless. Then I realized I needed to approach this from a new angle. I might not be able to do anything about guns but I can do something about mental illness, an issue we can handle on a local level. After making some phone calls today and speaking with people far more intelligent and educated than I, I believe we can do something to make a difference so that this does not happen in our communities, but , and I know I repeat this often...it is going to take all of us.
Here is what we can do:
1. Educate yourself about mental illness. Mental illness is a physical ailment, our brain is a part of our body. The stigma that surrounds mental illness and the shame that family members suffer from is due to our ignorance of diseases that effect the mind. The more we learn the less we have to fear.
2. Support the programs in your community that help kids. Every kid needs to connect with an adult and there is a lot of good work taking place out there. Programs for at-risk youth are especially important, Youth Outreach, The Remedy and The YMCA, but church groups and school organizations and Girl/Boy Scouts all help kids feel that they are a part of something bigger.
3. Find out who funds Mental Health Services in your community. Is it the county, the city, the state. Talk to these people about the importance of funding for mental health services, so young people never have to feel as isolated and alone as these young killers do.
4. If you know a family with a member suffering from mental illness, step towards them not away. The isolation, fear, shame and helplessness they are experiencing require more support not less.
Talk, listen, give rides, lend a hand, be a safe haven. Make a difference to someone dealing with mental health issues themselves or as a care giver.
We do have the power to make a difference in our communities and we must, before it happens again.
Thanks for reading.
Maureen Nelson
For greater insight into the life of a family of a child suffering from mental illness please click here.
Thank you to Karen Hanson & Jane Lorentzen for sharing the following poem.
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