News From LBD

February 2014 Volume 6 Issue 2

Want to Be a Better Communicator? Stop Talking!

Have you ever been in a conversation and struggled with what to say next? Guess what? The most successful communicators don't have that problem. The most successful communicators ask one question and stop talking at the question mark. Bet you're thinking, "Easy! I can do that!" It's actually tougher to do than it seems.

Many of us have gotten in the habit of "helping" people on the other end of our conversations by providing them with multiple choice questions. How can you engage and discover using multiple choice questions? If you approach all of your conversations with options, what you're actually doing is putting words in people's mouths. Here's an example:

"So, what are you doing for the holidays? Are you traveling or staying local? Seeing family or friends? Planning to go out a lot or staying in?"

We started off well with a nice essay question and then quickly spiraled into multiple choices. In true give-and-take, two-way conversations, much more information will be exchanged if all parties can share the speaking time. Imagine a mental tennis ball bouncing between you and your prospects (customers) during fact finding. You can only pass the ball when you ask a good essay question. If you ask multiple choice questions, you're effectively bouncing the ball at the service line. A tennis match in which the players continuously bounce the ball to themselves would become boring and monotonous, and never get anywhere.

Keep people involved in your conversations. Learn how to stop at the first question mark and allow your partner equal playing time. C'mon ... pass the ball!

What Leaders are Reading

How to Win Friends and Influence People

by Dale Carnegie

A true classic on human behavior and psychology that's withstood the test of time. There are no tricks or cheesy cliche's is this book. He just shoots straight and gives you what you need to become an influencer through improving your communication skills.

Bringing out the Best in People

by Aubrey Daniels

Aubrey Daniels is a renowned Behavioral Psychologist who's written several books on performance management. In this book he uses several examples with people of all ages, backgrounds, etc.... and how to use positive reinforcement to bring out the best in each of them. Imagine knowing how to communicate with everyone you meet, your kids or coworkers, to bring out the absolute best in them.

The Definitive Book of Body Language

by Barbara and Allan Pease

Most of us know that the majority of communication isn't spoken. However, we are often so focused on what others are doing, and their nonverbal questions, that we often forget to think of our own! This is an international bestseller that offers loads of insights on how to read others and how you're being read.

Leadership Tip of the Month

"What we have here is a failure to communicate."

This famous line is from the movie 'Cool Hand Luke.' Why did it become such a popular culture catchphrase?

Probably because it so aptly describes one of our most common frustrations - miscommunication!

Communication is essential for for progress and success. Today, more and more communication is accomplished via electronic devices, which has a greater potential for miscommunication.

The purpose of communication is to elicit some behavioral response. Yet many organizations claim that their inter-organizational communications, via e-mail etc., are misunderstood and thus the "desired" response isn't achieved. Why?

Because electronic communications lack the required content of emotion! Feelings and emotions influence behavior. The emotional dynamics of communication such as feelings, voice inflection and active listening, are missing.

Different people and different situations call for different styles of communication. Don't get to dependent on electronic communication.

To learn how, contact LBD.

John Branstad

Quote of the Month

"You are not judged by the answers you give. Rather, you are judged by the questions you ask."

John Branstad
www.leadershipbydesign.org
763-213-5267