16. Every time someone comes up with a foolproof solution, along comes a more-talented fool.
17. I'll bet you $4,567 you can't guess how much I owe my bookie.
18. Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.
19. If you keep your feet firmly on the ground, you'll have trouble putting on your pants.
20. A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.
21. Ever stop to think and forget to start again?
22. When I married Ms. Right, I had no idea her first name was Always.
23. There may be no excuse for laziness, but I'm still looking.
24. Women spend more time wondering what men are thinking than men spend thinking.
25. Give me ambiguity or give me something else.
26. He who laughs last thinks slowest.
27. Is it wrong that only one company makes the game Monopoly?
28. Women sometimes make fools of men, but most guys are the do-it-yourself type.
29. I was going to give him a nasty look, but he already had one.
30. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
31. The grass may be greener on the other side but at least you don't have to mow it.
32. I like long walks, especially when they're taken by people who annoy me.
33. I was going to wear my camouflage shirt today, but I couldn't find it.
34. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.
35. Sometimes I wake up grumpy; other times I let her sleep.
36. If tomatoes are technically a fruit, is ketchup a smoothie?
37. Money is the root of all wealth.
38. No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery
