 | Face to Face. Impossible to Replace! |
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|  For this month's Tune-Up I was inspired by an article in the New York Times by a favorite researcher of mine in the field of Positive Psychology, Barbara Fredrickson. A link to the article can be found here. Dr. Fredrickson writes about her current research which centers on the overwhelming tide of smart phone use combined with fewer and fewer face-to-face interactions, and how these behaviors seem to be actually reshaping our brains in ways that make us less well-adjusted, less happy, and even less physically healthy. She talks about a concept in brain science called plasticity in which our brains are actually changed by our habitual behavior over time. So, in a nutshell, we become what we do. I see this news as a big wake-up call! If we care about how we are evolving as individuals and as a culture we need to focus our attention on returning to more face-to-face interactions. But how can we make it a priority when the convenience of online and smart phone interaction is so compelling and easy? Although I personally use social networking and enjoy communicating that way, I also recognize for myself how addicting and seductive it can be. I think it's time to start a minor revolution of reconnecting in person with our loved ones! It will do us all good in the short term as well as over time as our actions shape the world we live in.
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How tethered are you to your phone?
A current commercial on TV depicts a family, all in separate places, each on individual devices, separately being called to dinner electronically. If I were to imagine the next scene, I'd envision each person coming to fetch his/her own dinner and taking it back to separate isolated corners rather than eating together as a family. Many of us are very tethered to our cell phones and if not our phones, to our social media interactions. The ways we connect with others have undoubtedly become more varied and advanced than ever before. And there are certainly many positive things about multiple ways to stay in touch. But even with this revolution of communication, loneliness and isolation have not decreased! In fact, some recent studies have indicated that Americans are actually more lonely than they were a decade ago before the explosion of smart phones and social networks. Over time, there could be more and more chatter but fewer and fewer "heart connections". But, we actually have to power to reverse this trend. If we all commit to making some small but significant changes in our daily habits we could start a new wave of reconnection; true in-person connection with those we love and new connections with people we want to get to know. Here are a few ideas to get started: - Try a nightly "technology fast" for at least a couple of hours, over dinner with the family or when doing an activity together.
- Commit to at least one face-to-face get together with a friend or relative per week. Be sure phones are turned off when you're spending time together.
- Already limiting "screen time" for the kids? What about your own "screen time" when you are with them? You may find the greater challenge is setting limits on yourself!
- Need to make new connections? Ironic as it may seem, one social network has the sole purpose of helping people get together in person: Meetup.com. Find face-to-face group activities that match your interests and then venture ahead to try them out in person. It's a great way to meet like-minded folks who want to connect in real time as opposed to online.
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